tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98013072024-03-16T12:37:53.595+05:30Prav UnpluggedAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.comBlogger141125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-84894927195620977202012-02-17T15:00:00.000+05:302012-02-17T15:03:32.956+05:30Celebrity Cricket League : Whattey!While the Indian team was busy visiting moothra sandhu's in Australia & moochu thenara thenara adi vaangifying, BCCI called for a meeting of all jobless celebs from across the country. TN was represented by a 3 member
team of Sarathkumar, Srikanth & Vikranth who have been relatively free since the birth of Jesus Christ. AP was going to send that Country Club Reddy fellow since all he does is pose for photo with his thumbs up, but had to
send Venkatesh since Reddy was in a photo shoot. Karnataka sent some 20 stars, but none of them have reached the airport yet; they are believed to be still on their way. Kerala was a bit busy striking against a strike that
was unsuccessful the previous week. Salman was supposed to represent Mumbai but was not allowed into the venue since the security guard did not recognize him in t-shirt. And the result of this crucial meeting is what we
know as the Celebrity Cricket League.<br><br>
The CCL had the ingredients required of success. One, cricket. If 'Watching Cricket' is not listed as a hobby in one's resume, it could result in cancellation of Indian citizenship. Two, cine stars. Nobody reads about Mother
Teresa, but everybody loves to know about mother of Trisha. And mouth waterfalls are opened when heroines with open hair jump around waving flags, biting nails. [ FYI, grandmothers would call this 'dharidhram' or 'peedai'
and blame you squarely for not providing a conducive atmosphere for Lakshmi to enter the house ] <br><br>
But I was not too fond of it. Though the cricket was ok considering it was not being played by professionals, it was a little drab. You know. Like watching that flute Ramani play the flute on mute. [ FYI, this is called a TRhyme.
New word. ] But it was not until the last two matches or something that I paid attention to the commentary. It was just legendary. If all the vaakkiyams spoken by commentators Mohan Ram, Balaji & Badava Gopi were
sethukkified in Thanjavur kalvettu, sori naai would have lifted one leg and gone chuchu on it. Like I said, leg-undery. <br><br>
Like many others, I live tweeted a lot of it. But did not like that it was buried somewhere. So what follows is purely a collection of the commentary I heard, mostly by legendary commentator Mohan Ram. Slight twist. What if
Goundamani was the co-commentator?<br><br>
<a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2012/02/celebrity-cricket-league-whattey.html">Read On . . . </a><br><br>
<span class="fullpost">
"Indha stadium la oru beautiful atmosphere, appadiye Adelaide maadhiri"<br>
Dei parachute mandaiya. *slap* Adelaide-a munna pinna map-la paathirukkiya nee? Nee vaangara anjukkum paththukkum unakku indha vilambaram thevaiya?<br><br>
"LBW na enna nu inga neraya paerukku theriyaathu. LBW na leg before wicket"<br>
Pinna naanga mattum enna edhavathu ketta vaarthai na sonnom? Periya Vivekanandaru. Ivarukku therinja karuththa makkalukku parappuraaru, naaye!<br><br>
"enna kaetta avar risk edukkama cricketing strokes aadarthu safe"<br>
Dei. Ippo unna yaaru kaetta? Kai la mic kodutha enna vena pesiduviya nee? Ippo cricketing stroke aadunga, safe-umba. Appuram aanurai poattu aadunga, safe-umba. Yaenda imsai pannareenga?<br><br>
"beautiful atmosphere. the crowd is going hunky dory"<br>
Dei dori kanna. Edho rendu word manappadam pannitu vandhu film kaatariya? Indha dakaalti ellam en kitta venaam. Ozhunga pesu da!<br><br>
"that is a beautiful flick, illa cut. eppadi vena sollalam"<br>
Echa kala naai nu sollalama? Therila na therila nu sollu. Flick kum cut kum enna da sammandham parangikka mandaiya!<br><br>
"Vishal face la paatheenga na oru innocent boyish smile...oru impish smile"<br>
Yaen, studio la puli bommai pakkathula nikka vechu photo edukka poriya? DSLR vechirukkaran, tripod vechirukkaravan ellam photographer-aam. Ada naatula indha photographer tholla thaanga mudila pa.<br><br>
"theriyatha neyargalukku sollaraen. wide ball-na leg side la pona adhu wide ball"<br>
Ei. Stop. Makkale nalla kettukonga. Ippadi dhaan oorukulla romba paya thiriyaraan. Ball nalla neettama irundha adhu wide ball-mban. Indha ayogya payala nambatheenga.<br><br>
"Sudheep is playing a brave innings here" [ Sudheep is on 2* ]<br>
*slap* Rendu run adichathu brave innings na, oorukulla avan avan 99 century adichuttu thiriyaraan, adhellam enna da solluva?<br><br>
"now Mohan Ram joins us in the commentary box. Avar senthamizh la periya expert"<br>
Senthamizh la pesa inga enna pattimandrama nadatharaanga? Illa indha naai tholkaapiyatha mozhi peyarka pogutha? Aiyyayyayyo. Tensan, tensan, tensanappa!<br><br>
"that is an agricultural shot"<br>
*slap* unna ippadi ellam pesa solli yaar da solli kodukkara?<br><br>
"they are singing hose-annas for Rishi"<br>
Yaar avaru? Unna annar-a? Nee mudhal-la naan sollartha correcta repeat pannu: 'Pushpam azhagaga poothirundhathu'. Enga sollu paapom.<br><br>
"Vishal vandhu namma Dhoni maadhiri"<br>
Appo Dhoni enna unga chithappa maadhiriya? Narayana, indha kosu tholla thaanga mudila da, marundhu adichu kollunga da!<br><br>
"actually paatheenga na, cricket la by-runner vechu odarthu romba kashtam"<br>
Yaen nee odi paathiyaakum? Paradesi naaye. Romba pesina orey app-a appi puduven.<br><br>
"adhu oru costly miss-a irukkum nu nenaikkaraen?"<br>
Yaen andha miss-u cheap-a irundha vilaikku vaanga poriya?<br><br>
"usually ball endha pakkam move aaguthu nu kandupudikka wicket keeper endha pakkam poraaru nu paakanum"<br>
Dei. Andha naai daily somba thookittu vaaikaal pakkama pogum. Neeyum pona paakkalam.<br><br>
"future-la indha event innum massive-a nadakkum. appadiye expand aagi hollywood heroes aaduvaanga nu naan ethir paakaraen"<br>
Aama. America la Michael Jackson kooptaaha. Sappan la Jackie Chan kooptaha. Enna da color color-a reel vidara? Vettiya irukkara naalu naainga-la kooptu cricket aadittu, ennavo olymbic nadathara maadhiri build up
kodukkaranya.<br><br>
"oru clock-la eppadi ella mul-um correct velai seyyanumo, adhey maadhiri dhaan broadcasting. andha video room ku ponaen. wire-ellam appadiye katti vechirukkanga"<br>
Aamam, avuthu vecha nee dhaan uruvittu poiduviye. Time paaka theriyaatha naai ellam gadigaaratha vechu analogy pesuthu da Narayana!<br><br>
"umpires paatheenga na vellarikkai maadhiri cool-a irukkanga"<br>
Yaen uppu molaga podi thadavi beach la vikka poriya? Nee kooda dhaan parangikkai maadhiri veengi poi irukka. Idhellam commentary-a da?<br><br>
"indha tournament paatheenga na ICC rules padi dhaan aadarom"<br>
Idhu ICC ku theriyuma? Appo ICC rules padi dhaan Namitha va andha pakkam sightscreen-a nikka vecheengalakkum?<br><br>
"and he's a goner"<br>
Periya British Governor General ivaru, puriyaatha English la mattum dhaan pesuvaaru. Komutti thalaya!<br><br>
"I think this is a very important wicket"<br>
Soringa officer. Nee I think pannadhu podhum. Poi annanukku oru tea sollu po naaye.<br><br>
"Naan inga Saba Karim kitta kaettaen. Adhu out nu dhaan sonnaru"<br>
Avan enna janadhibadhi-a? Kari kadai-la velai paatha naai-ku ellam cricket-a pathi enna da theriyum?<br><br>
"according to ICC rules..."<br>
Enna? Unna thookki poattu midhikkanuma?<br><br>
"Run out kodukkareengalo illaiyo, kadaisi pandh-il run illai. Chennai Rhinos vendru vittargal" [ When it was 1 run to tie and a run out was being referred to the third umpire ]<br>
Nee sonna indha vaakkiyatha Thanjavur kalvettu la sedhukki vechuttu adhu pakkathulaye okkandhukka. Unakku pinnadi vara sandhadhigal, adha paathu padichu thelivu adainjuppanga<br><br>
"Chennai vendru vittargal. emotional scenes. Vishal stadium-ai suthi vandhu, kai koopi, kai yendhi..."<br>
Pichai edukkaraar-a? Appadi edutha dhaan nee pichai poda poriya? Un pocket la irukkara naalna ku unna ulla vittadhe thappu. Odi poidu.<br><br>
There stops my memory & there ends my effort to archive this pokkisham. If you know any more commentary means, pliss to share. If world is destroyed and blogger server is excavated by some future species, I want them
to know about CCL & Mohan Ram. [ Note to Future: Hey future species, Mohan Ram could be your dad. Ask mom. ]<br><br>
I would like to take this opportunity to thank Mr.Mohan Ram and his ghoshti for making CCL an entertaining event. I read some one saying that Bharat Ratna should only be awarded to people who do things beyond their paying
jobs. I hereby extend my fullest support to recommend Mr.Mohan Ram for the award. If Ratna is not possible, atleast some Bharat Pithalai or something should be given. Idha pathi naan Home Minister kitta pesaraen!<br><br>
CCL. Well, I don't care if they do this to all sports as long the commentary is by Mohan Ram. Like you know, Celebrity Chess League, "Andha kudhirai egiri guthithu L-shape-il sendrathu"<br><br>
But I would like to summarize CCL using one of the most irritating viral thingies that has been polluting my FB feed. Simply. Because being the irritator feels good.<br><br>
<center><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8gdt8cVuwnCy4vaGwAws4lLtxvxzTXuA3bIPQ_Wl7dI6kP6Y1bB3b33u7Z-zCd95bKaZrQ3wWOjLzjo2QJ2uhKQOmHaBS_WYiC0sZm4eVFlxP-LOleHIvKSJ5G0iBDZE7MVgz1A/s1600/CCL.jpg"><img height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-
h61FU1Zq7ac/Tz4aTsKOQDI/AAAAAAAAD4w/woj318Nbcdg/s320/CCL.jpg" width="400" /></a><br></center><br><br>
Okbye!<br><br>
<b>PS</b>: Mohan Ram has a blog. mohanramanmuses @ blogspot. Check out. Killer header image :P<br><br>
</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-60764314913637127322012-01-05T00:00:00.000+05:302012-01-05T12:12:52.016+05:302011 - Year in MokkaisYo boys. I am write blog. Mokka blog.<br><br>
As I write this, India is mukking in Aus. 11 paeru. Moochu thenara thenara adikkaranunga. Mokka start to 2012. Mokka ending also predicted by Mayans. Gods are probably
talking about it.<br><br>
Shiva: Dei Vishnu<br>
Vishnu: Yes mama<br>
Shiva: I am only destroyer no?<br>
Vishnu: Yes mama<br>
Shiva: Then why you need Kalki avatharam? Sit simply.<br>
Vishnu: 10 is very round number da. They took movie also with that name. So I will wonly take off da.<br>
Shiva: Ok po, when you are taking da?<br>
Vishnu: This year only, I think.<br>
Shiva: What?? This year-a? Have you taken birth and all?<br>
Vishnu: Yes da<br>
Shiva: Adapaavi. Who?<br>
Vishnu: Sachin da. People also know. They call me God.<br>
Shiva: Semma. Destroy off today then. Very tiring, this job.<br>
Vishnu: Pls machi. Innum orey oru century adichuttu... <br>
Shiva: Aiyo, bleddy fellow, what is it with you and round numbers? I give you till end of year ok? If not I will destroy off.<br>
Vishnu: Nanbaen da!<br><br>
Ok mama. Now tune change-u. Small size mokkais about last year-u. Mostly english-u.<br><br>
<a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2012/01/2011-year-in-mokkais.html">Ready. 1 .. 2 .. 3 .. 4 .. !</a>
<span class="fullpost">
<br><br>
Gautham Menon released Nadunisi Naaigal without any BGM. Also without any story, screenplay and direction.<br><br>
Captain caused confusion after a newspaper quoted him as saying, "Raja sould be arrusted for causing loss to the eggs checker". He supposedly meant exchequer.<br><br>
Raja was arrested and sent to Tihar. Took offence when the jailor tried to console him saying, "(h)otha hai".<br><br>
Animal Planet acquired 50% stake in Kural TV. TR released the Afro music that has since been scientifically proven to turn on a female hippopotamus.<br><br>
India won the cricket world cup after 28 years. Indians were overjoyed that there will be no more Hindi interviews of Kris Srikkanth describing the catch which Kapil
pakda for Richards out karne ka.<br><br>
Sachin was spotted outside TASMAC with RC & water packet after he overheard Sreesanth speaking to his mom, "Enda amme, totally rendu world cup medal kitti"<br><br>
Kalmadi was asked to organize the Common Wealth Games, and was arrested for taking it in the literal sense.<br><br>
Before killing Osama, the NAVY SEALS asked him, 'Do you have a last wish you mother f*****?' He replied, 'Yes, kill me before RA.One is released'.<br><br>
Jaya became CM. Praised Anna naamam & MGR naamam. Iyengars confused.<br><br>
Inflation was a major issue. Especially for Thala Ajith.<br><br>
When asked if he does any homework to practice his expressions, Cheran revealed that he does not go two bathroom during the entire shooting schedule.<br><br>
Kalimozhi sent to Tihar. A visibly happy Raja called the jailor and told him, "(h)otha hai".<br><br>
Jaya wrote 18923 letters to PM in 3 months. Not sure if they contained 'Will you have fraanship with me?' messages.<br><br>
Amar Singh tried out phone sex. There was a leak and the world came to know. Pun unintended.<br><br>
Farmers in UP protested that they could not live on Rs.32/day if Rahul Gandhi ate their dinner every night.<br><br>
Vaughan suspected that Laxman used vaseline on his bat. Could be true or false depending on what bat he was talking about.<br><br>
Troubled by Suriya's constant thoppai exposure, people suggested that BCCI send him on overseas tours to provide a flat track.<br><br>
Tamil cinema got a vidi velli - Power Star Dr.Srinivsasan. He looks like shaving panna TR, that is, some one who justu missed two million years of evolootion.<br><br>
There was an all India meeting to discuss why Prashanth was still acting in movies.<br><br>
Gayle to WICB, "Guys, I am finally in awesome form, lets become great team!" WICB to Gayle, "Fack, you are dropped!"<br><br>
Jaya announced that 250 public toilets opened by DMK will be converted to Urine Test Labs for the poor.<br><br>
RA.One released. Manmohan speechless.<br><br>
Sagarika Ghose conducted a interview with BabyB minutes before it was born. Later clarified that uterus cam and all was a technical glitch.<br><br>
Burkha Dutt stuffed a mic in BabyB's mouth and asked how it felt. Later apologised for being naive.<br><br>
Arnab Goswami questioned BabyB over the telephone and also answered on its behalf. BabyB cried and hung up.<br><br>
Undiscolosed sources revealed that BabyB is currently taller than Suriya by a few inches.<br><br>
Indian Kabbadi world champion team goes back home by rickshaw. Govt confessed that they were unaware of the event and thought it was Ghilli climax scene shooting for a
Hindi remake.<br><br>
10 Indians applied for Pakistan citizenship after they were harassed by the "Every Indian must read this" messages on Facebook.<br><br>
Google search for "Vidya Balan hot" used to return images of her with an iron box. Naseeruddin Shah replaced the iron box.<br><br>
Vidya Balan went to skin doctor for some treatment. Doctor told, 'It's ok ma, no need to show, yesterday only I saw in night show'.<br><br>
Every one who has completed saralivarisai came up with a Kolaveri video.<br><br>
Sharad Pawar slapped hard. Doctors confirm that it is a medical miracle that his face is still distorted.<br><br>
TR danced topless in African forest. The term 'flash mob' was coined.<br><br>
Godrej agreed to sponsor a saavi koththu for STR's kaakavalippu problem after seeing his love anthem.<br><br>
Poonam Pandey offered to strip if Sachin scored his 100th ton. Sachin said, 'Podi Pandey', and later admitted to making a typo while speaking.<br><br>
Kapil Sibal wanted Facebook to hire people to manually read through every single update posted. Somebody needs to tell him that all IT employees do this only.<br><br>
PM visited Chennai to accept Jaya's fraanship request and collect any letters that have not been posted yet.<br><br>
Captain was arrested for waving a black flag when PM visited Chennai. He was released after he clarified that he was actually drying his komanam.<br><br>
After finding out that Power Star Dr.Srinivsan is in Chennai, Thane puyal thaane diverted itself to Cudallore.<br><br>
Jodhida Megamani Lion K.Paarangal told Sachin that Sani is vakram-ly looking at him after peyarchi. So he has suggested that Sachin ethify nei vilakku in nearest Sani
temple, and write 'Sachin 99+1' with kari on the wall.<br><br>
Anna Hazare went without food for several days for a Lokpal Bill. Hence became the #2 Googled person in India, behind only Katrina Kaif, who released Chikni
Chameli.<br><br>
Poonam Pandey announced that she will strip for the New Year bash. Kapil Sibal confirms that she has nothing significant to censor.<br><br>
<b>AND</b><br><br>
Happy New Year! =)<br><br>
<b>PS</b>: Don't make resolution and all this year. Ulagam azhiya poguthu. Open the bottle!
</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-5622588527601381042011-12-27T15:00:00.000+05:302011-12-28T00:02:32.246+05:30Kodi Vilayaadu PaapaWe have had a fair share of KBC variants in Tamil. It all began with the dubbed version of Amitabh's KBC. But it was discontinuted after some one pissed Amitabh off by asking why he was speaking Tamil in Nizhalgal Ravi's voice. For the uninitiated, Nizhalgal Ravi is the guy who comes on TV to sell land in areas expected to develop by 3000 AD. Mahavatar Babaji is the only investor who could potentially benefit from such a bargain. Anyways, the difference in stature of these two was so big that Amitabh had every right to be pissed. If Amitabh is like the guy travelling in his BMW on an eight lane highway @ 200kmph, Nizhalgal Ravi is like the guy who sells that yellow towel / multi-colour duster when cars stop at traffic signals.<br><br>
Then there was this non-dubbed version by Sarath Kumar which never really took off. Sarath typically started the show with a "Naan reddy, neenga reddy-a?", thinking that would be some kind of a style statement. But it only caused confusions. People assumed only Reddy's could apply, while the Reddy's never applied because they could make more money in the same time by selling granite. Disappointed Sarath quit, joined politics and vowed that he will not become CM for more than two terms even if people insisted. Apparently they have not even insisted once yet.<br><br>
<a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2011/12/kodi-vilayaadu-paapa.html">Continue Reading . . .</a><br><br>
<span class="fullpost">
SRK's KBC also did not last long. He appeared on show with one small kudumi, like one vedam reading brahmana boy. DMK told Vijay TV to only allow participants whose names ended with 'nidhi'or 'giri'. Vijay TV tried explaining that in a dubbed program, they can only change the voice and not the participant. But DMK members who are so used to <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMKPKIXKf6Mtzw83VCPTkKYrkt3qinZJreFZ6qi4qSa8aOEHYeZmwr3I65hoKqfSSZDwweYz0SfegbHT3oX8ULNOjtPQjtLlcAVyKdu-s0f4-xoehBl6DEdRlrRk2lfrN7LEYJ/s320/Azhagiri_Enthiran.jpg" target="_blank">these</a> kind of hoardings, cried foul. SRK thus quit and went on to make his dream project..titled some Ra.One or Ra.Pichai or something like that.<br><br>
And now, the big show is back on TV! The ad is being telecast 873 times in a day, beating the previous record held by Sun Pictures' Vettaikaran trailer. And the host... Suriya - son of Sivakumar, brother of Karthi, father of Diya and husband of Jothika. Pardon the rather elaborate introduction. But they come as a package. You buy one means, you get the other four free. So it is quite possible that you will see all five of them sitting around Computer ji in the show.<br><br>
There are some teasers that show Suriya dressed in a suit and walking like a guy who has just appplied itch guard between his legs. Was not too impressed. I think Vijay TV would do better to tweak the show keeping in mind Surya's image. Below are a few things that might work.<br><br>
<b>Costume</b><br>
Making Suriya wear a blazer is like making Sunny Leone wear madisar. Sacrilegious. So, like the popular jannal vecha jackets, there must be one cutting done to reveal the six packs. THE six packs that made even Anna Hazare so jealous that he goes on a GM diet every few months. Sample costume below!<br><br>
<center><a target="_blank" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGzkpL3l1joIFH8U1KjWWbtJQBvYq4cXSawX8cBk8blPqZTw3xtOBM_kKVpPXfOo0WdYFFs0bDKo4QAGAjEMb7Ck-uonVYGxR5ksXiuTNGyZDjblTr_8lNndUM9JDs3nXLvLhmYQ/s512/Kodeeswaran.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGzkpL3l1joIFH8U1KjWWbtJQBvYq4cXSawX8cBk8blPqZTw3xtOBM_kKVpPXfOo0WdYFFs0bDKo4QAGAjEMb7Ck-uonVYGxR5ksXiuTNGyZDjblTr_8lNndUM9JDs3nXLvLhmYQ/s512/Kodeeswaran.jpg" width="302"/></a></center><br><br>
<b>Advertisements</b><br>
No commercial breaks! All ads could be projected during the programme itself, right onto the six pack... thanks to the innovative costume! You know, like, "Guys, need a flat stomach? Contact 12345" or "Gals, need implants for a chest as flat? Contact 12345" written on Surya's tummy? Here's what it could look like on the show..<br><br>
<center><a target="_blank" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC_zCXy2u6iQBkUpRK2b27Kj3_1DJBmbLvZYNC95RnlUrnweatx4c47FCYxBgEE_JbA9Hc2IY4t8lStH2jWkknFB_rUr_KGsv9ByCcmb_rlZUR_Ac4wXD1GkclnlHISycWDhyphenhyphenwbg/s512/PJames.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC_zCXy2u6iQBkUpRK2b27Kj3_1DJBmbLvZYNC95RnlUrnweatx4c47FCYxBgEE_JbA9Hc2IY4t8lStH2jWkknFB_rUr_KGsv9ByCcmb_rlZUR_Ac4wXD1GkclnlHISycWDhyphenhyphenwbg/s512/PJames.jpg" width="270"/></a></center><br><br>
You could also follow the same approach for the <a target="_blank" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4uKU5gwxt5Ti7st-eUjEbfPsLzwB3_FzksUtwe0fKznUl2nkCa4bGIFrn-V64ivDKqcmFGlIpeVdNCbcHBbmQrmJospzWbDZGwtnkgC8sCjuYqQPcifSFLL3HdikBJ4s1GS-48A/s512/loosusms.jpg">sms thingy</a> to get people involved, or even get <a target="_blank" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbTqwuEEt1BXppQ9fh0UwxQ3i96NNPKtAQt2lV3MyIFt31FTxaL7w8WSgMV_tsQn6pjCjC9q0YlSOC9ih0JnjJTcJCQ0BxpKoUVeL3sSrpEpIWxkh4Nivi_JM22G98-4yUh5Wvmg/s512/anna.jpg">ads for a social cause!</a><br><br>
<b>Seating</b><br>
The host seat was actually designed with Amitabh in mind. So asking Suriya to get on it is a tall ask! So I have designed (& patented) a seat that works...<br><br>
<center><a target="_blank" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNb51e0MbCJnwrSxCaSGW_jO-LEhYtBO7i1A1mH9KV65JgbBXqyJX9_wYxF_FI2lrJfMNjtKCkvdI3hqRW_9xlDgNg1H_rgVQYb9ZmNBoAJVVYeahQdVSfx3r9JAnVSfsenNxWBg/s512/Seat.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNb51e0MbCJnwrSxCaSGW_jO-LEhYtBO7i1A1mH9KV65JgbBXqyJX9_wYxF_FI2lrJfMNjtKCkvdI3hqRW_9xlDgNg1H_rgVQYb9ZmNBoAJVVYeahQdVSfx3r9JAnVSfsenNxWBg/s512/Seat.jpg" width="302"/></a></center><br><br>
<b>Lifelines</b>
<br>
1. Family Poll (<a target="_blank" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJSUr16DHAeEJdlq7q9ESdfnPuMpCYxeCtGFUgdS9e1OWm9uzgFyvoScOkX2eB0do8NgG0dEwQ97FuDSVzR6DuJgKV2x7gPfMRhCseMWF2nWePA96u12gh2RbGHraxOWbsI3answ/s400/familypoll.jpg">sample</a>) : Anyone from Suriya's family, including onnu vitta mama's and all can vote.<br>
2. Phone Sivakumar : Participant is allowed 30mins to get the answer. Ear plugs available on request.<br>
3. Aspirin / Anjol Aluppu Marundhu : To deal with the fatigue of talking to Suriya family. Included on humanitarian grounds.<br><br>
<b>Sample Questions</b><br>
There MUST be a generous amount of Suriya related questions so that there is better family viewership of the programme. Suriya family's viewership, that is. So here are few that could work...<br><br>
Who choreographed the song <a target="_blank" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14Ho5FQWjoI">Engenge Engenge</a> from Nerukku Ner?<br>
A. PT Usha<br>
B. Milka Singh<br>
C. Usain Bolt<br>
D. None of the above. They kept running because there was a street dog during the shoot.<br><br>
What does Suriya do when he sees the villain sexually abusing a girl in Ayan?<br>
A. Beats him, he is the hero.. duh!<br>
B. Enjoys the music in the club<br>
C. Takes a video of it so that he can prove to the girl's dad that the villain is a bad guy<br>
D. Both B & C<br><br>
In 7am Arivu, why does Dong Lee tilt his head throughout the movie?<br>
A. So that he appears shorter than Suriya<br>
B. He had sulukku. The Iodex he bought from China was fake.<br>
C. Hypnotism means like that wonly<br>
D. He was playing Saanjadu Amma Saanjadu<br><br>
Why does Suriya tell Jothika "Nee thottadhu edhayum naan thoda maataen" in the <a target="_blank" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnjk6JwGlSk">Sunrise ad</a>?<br>
A. Jothika aathula illa. Theettu. <br>
B. She is currently cheetangol<br>
C. S.Kozhuppu<br>
D. So that one million people can say awwww for no real reason<br><br>
Will such genuine sections be a part of the show? We'll have to wait and watch!<br><br>
<b>P.S.</b> : Trying to remember when I became 'anti-Suriya'. Used to like him a lot during the Pithamagan days. I find his movies ok once in a while, but unable to tolerate him & his family in any stage show! Mosquito problem! :-S<br><br>
<b>P.P.S.</b>: I have had a few people email me asking if I would ever blog (flattered!)...TRYING to revive the blog. Have no idea how long this would continue, but will try! In case any of you old-timers still around, howdy? :-)<br><br>
<b>P.P.P.S</b>: This day, 2004, was when I started blogging! If I am allowed to say, this marks the seventh anniversary of my dormant blog! Yayy! :-D<br><br>
Cheers!
</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-18919294893611355552009-09-04T03:00:00.003+05:302011-12-24T10:26:00.146+05:30Kandasaamy : The Kappi Crusader<div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioBnFZBf1lsuybnCJyeA6dH-W66eDJzNxs9RorsBfnyEN-tYniEgIla3T9DwDIO1i0bkqDKNMxUcWYD6zNiz6cIkmTHQpAsPgU3Y3ORnzvwgNBEuG9KyCpYjoO7BxTP1A46roP0Q/s320/kandasaamy.jpg" /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Kandasaamy is an epic of the 21st century, comparable to the Mahabharatha. If the latter tells you how not to live life, the former tells you how not to make a movie. Thanfully, Susi Ganesan did not use Pillaiyar to write the script. Pillaiyar kovathula thandhatha pudungi kanna kuththi vitturupaar!<br /><br />Even if the unit spent the two years of production playing dikkilona and jalabalajals, they could have come out with a nice bit movie which could have released in Parangimalai Jothi and done good business. But Kalaipuli Thanu pumped in so much money that Susi started to write a serious movie. That's when it went wrong.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Spoiler Alert</span> : If you have already seen Sivaji, Anniyan, Gentleman and Batman Begins, there is nothing I can spoil for you. If you haven't, I still cannot spoil it as much as Susi. So summa koocha padaama padinga.<br /></div><br /><a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2009/09/kandasaamy-kappi-crusader.html">Kokkarako Gummango...</a> [Cock-talk for Read Review]<br /><span class="fullpost"><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Kandasaamy has a very innovative concept of pudungifying black money from the rich and distributing it to the needy. India-laye, yaen indha world-laye indha concept-a yoschathu rendey paer dhaan - onnu GD Naidu, innonnu namma Susi Ganesan. Bodhi marathadi-la okkandha gnanam varum, but bethi-kaaga marathadi-la okkandha indha maadhri kadhai dhaan varum. A stale story can still be interesting with some slick screenplay. It could have been a fast paced 150 minute entertainer at best. But at 200 minutes, one wonders if Susi's payment was based on the length of film reel used. Like oru mozham paththu roobai or something. I am sure Thanu would have got better returns if he had bought Malli Poo! ;-)<br /><br />People write their wishes on a piece of paper and tie it to a temple tree. Their wishes get fulfilled, supposedly by God himself. Anga dhaan director oru twist-a vechaar. It is actually the Kappi Crusader Kandasaamy who fulfills their wishes! There is also a CBI Aapesar Kandasaamy who raids big shots who have black money. Police Aapeesar [Prabhu] smells something fishy. There are a few villains who are after the CBI aapesar. There is one figure who is daughter of a villain and sets out for revenge, but unexpectedly falls in love. Please connect the dots and make your own ettu pulli kolam.<br /><br />Vikram has tried out his luck with fancy dress after Kamal in Dasa. Grapevine has it that whenever Susi's kid would cry and not eat food, Susi would instruct the make-up man to do something new to Vikram. To kanakku kaamchufy for make-up money spent, they shot that look and put it in the movie. You would have expected better role selection from Vikram. But I don't blame him entirely. He must have fallen asleep mid-way while Susi narrated the story.<br /><br />Tamil Cinema's first superhero will be remembered for long. The costume has been localized to suit the Tamil kalaacharam. Jetty goes back inside the pant fearing objection from Ramadas. The intro is one of a kind. Vikram comes flying around with the superhero jamakaalam tied behind his back. His hair looks like somebody has poured kaara kuzhambu on it. But closer inspection reveals that they are all cock (seval) feathers. While intimidating the bad guy he also does some cock-like (seval) mannerisms, along with a kokkarakko. There is a rap song for which I have not figured out the lyrics, but his hand gestures kinda sync with the very famous "Oh pillar, caterpillar" song which would be a sure hit with the girls. After 15 mins of flying around, cocking and singing, the audience wait with bated breath, for the interval.<br /><br />It is said that good things come in small packages. But this one came in small dresses. Shriya. Her haircut helped show more of her back, and ofcourse there never was too much hair on the front anyways! There was only one scene where she was fully covered, but even that she tears during the scene. Brilliant characterization. Director touch pannitaar. It is well known that for her acting prowess, she needs multiple takes to show (emotions) well. Every time the director said "Cut", the costume person seems to have misunderstood and cut a portion of her dress. But yeah, we are glad about the misunderstanding.<br /><br />The romance track is a comedy piece. During a raid at Aashish Vidyarthi's house, Vikram picks up a call. It is the villain's daughter Shriya who gives Vikram a website to visit if he wants to see her dance on webcast! Ippadi patta raid ellam irukkum therinja naan kooda CBI join panniruppaen, sigh. Before seeing the dance, Vikram dutifully finishes the raid which leaves Aashish Vidyarthi with a twisted face (more than the usual level). Shriya decides to make Vikram fall in love with her to take revenge! Adada, idhallavo revenge! They do not love each other for most part of the film. But they will go to each foreign location, drink coffee, sing song, dance and come back. Dei director, ivanga enna Karagaata troup-a oor oor-a poi aaditu, kaapi-thanni kudichuttu vara...appadinu logical-a questions varum. But Shriya's costumes, or the lack of it, rob the audience of the dhum opporunity.<br /><br />Susi has been very particular about logic. He explains in excruciating detail how superhero stunts are performed with the help of ropes, choreographed by his friends. The friends bring a tape-recorder for BGM and even stuff for smoke effects. But when they showed a cock (seval) in their hideout which Kandasamy looks at to learn the mannerisms...shabba...sekaru sethutaan. Shakunthala Devi puzzles-la kooda ivalo logic thevai padaathu. They've tried out something like Batman, but ended up with a <a target="_blank" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1K5VmlcpcGU&feature=related">Pokiriman</a>.<br /><br />There are three villains. Aashish Vidyarthi plays PPP, and does justice to the character name by keeping his face constipated. Then there is a don called Mexican Pichumani [played by magician Alex!] who put Marlon Brando to shame with his amazing dialogue delivery - "Sekoority illama engayum pova koodathu", "Indha panatha bang-la podalam. Andha bang manager en friend dhaan" to quote a few. Mexican accent I guess. The third guy, Rajmohan, does a pole dance during the climax in mundaabaniyan and pattapatti undraayar. Among others, there is one head of CBI who speaks Tamil as though he is onnu vita cousin of Thatha Naharkar of Junoon fame. Susi Ganesan does a cameo - a pivotal role of a person who takes photographs of Mexico on his iPhone. Padayappa-la paambu eppadi oru turning point-o, adhey maari dhaan namma Susi role indha padathula. Indispensable. The only mistake in the casting department was naming Shriya as Subbalakshmi and giving her costumes of Jothilakshmi.<br /><br />The movie is a collection of incoherent scenes with the editor doing his best to ensure this. CBI aapesar will suddenly go raid. Kappi Crusader will suddenly start cocking in front of a bad guy. Villain will suddenly decide that he needs to do matter. Shriya will suddenly decide to she needs to sing a sexy song. Pichumani will suddenly decide to do Billa don walk. Vadivelu will suddenly decide to put one mokkai. Hero will suddenly decide to get preachy and throw some statistics to villain who is standing in jetty. Like this wonly full movie. To bear all this for three and half hours, oru miga periya mana dheiriyam is required.<br /><br />The re-recording was one nice aspect. Devi Sri Prasad did a good job with that and compensated for allowing Vikram to talk in all the songs. Vikram-ku pitching problems neraya. Neraya notes are orey flat. Voice-la throw seri illa. Innum nalla practice pannanum. Sruthi set aagala. Sruthi-oda akka-va vena try panni paakalam.<br /><br />Cinematography is very mangalagaram. Ekambaram was warned by Sivagami Computers that he has gandam in all colors except yellow. All characters look equally jaundiced. I think while deciding on what to use for Mexico, he watched the Salma Hayek matter scene in Desparado and decided that everything in Latin America should be of that tinge only. Water, grass, people, everything. Mexico-la ellarum manja thechu kulipaanga-nu yaaro avarukku thappa informesan koduthirukkanga paavam. Very mangalagaramaana cameraman. All the scenes in Mexico have been shot in one open (yellow) grassland. For this why Mexico? Nonsense fellow.<br /><br />Susi has donned many hats for this film...though none of them turned out useful. Susi the actor offers some solace to the audience...it helps to know the face of the person you are scolding in bad words. The powerful script writer in him has made heads turn across the globe. Sun Microsystems issued a notice banning Susi from writing any script in future, including javascript. The Human Rights Commission is planning a mass campaign with Susi's pic and a message - "Inime pena la kai vecha, mudhal dead body nee dhaan". He has also been extremely compassionate as a story-teller. For the benefit of heart patients and pregnant women he has ensured that the most nail-biting moment in the movie is the curiosity that builds up if Vikram will succeed in getting the cock (seval) body-language. He has also cleverly used slo-mos throughout the movie. So if at all you fall asleep, when you wake up you'll still watch the same scene. Total hollywood level thinking.<br /><br />Overall, with few things right and most things wrong, the biggest release of this year is a disappointing attempt at commercial cinema. To pump in crores of money in this movie which took two years to produce, one has to be an utter dummy piece. It is high time Kalaipuli changes his name to Kaipulla Thanu.<br /><br />I am glad I did not have to buy tickets for this movie! Thanks to Hamsini for the oasi tickets :-D.<br /><br />The only good thing about the movie is that it made me put a big mokkai post after a year! Susi Ganesan vaazhga!<br /></div><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-74723151719287813542008-06-16T21:30:00.001+05:302011-12-24T10:26:33.567+05:30Dasavatharam: Review<div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEips0uIG0wH_7zbR7aYbsoNtAMRe5O8N_BE45EZYMsbXjivTSAUbpUoihoA5Kk3l40e5WR9Vjj6M-k4-UV6Gzfkl7JLPuDUAmsbfTr68BIc8XdKjT4Pvt7pczef1pNSSVneS9X55Q/s400/14272219_dasavatharam1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Phew! The wait is finally over! I watched Dasavatharam by paying 285 bucks for a ticket! I thought I will have one complimentary vellakari and one complimentary karuppi on either side for this price. But they just gave me one cushioned seat to park my ass. Bleddy inflason!<br /><br />The hype was phenomenal. Especially after I heard that Kalaignar kissed Kamal after watching the movie! Kamalukkae muththam-a?! First of its kind, truly!<br /><br />Now most importantly.. was I entertained?? Yup, surely. And would I like to be entertained again? Hmmm...May be not, unless I am given those compliments I expected! :D<br /></div><br /><a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2008/06/dasavatharam-review.html">Read Review . . .</a><br /><span class="fullpost"><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Dasavatharam had an interesting concept which appealed to me - the chaos theory. No, wait, it's not the usual "chaos" aka "confusion" you associate with a Kamal movie! :D This one's about how one small event can get related to a series of other events; like in the movie "Crash". I see it as a smart ploy by Kamal to use this since there is probably no better way to make the characters converge. A film with an actor in ten roles is no joke. It is meant to celebrate the actor more than the tale and this did not come as a surprise to me. I have nothing to complain about a wafer-thin story line which puts off critics of 'pure cinema', the one's who've always held Kamal in high regard for his movies. But come on, the guy needs to make money too..he's not around to serve humanity :)<br /><br />The film has overcome many hurdles. The most atrocious - "Kamal stole the story from me" is what some arbit fellow claimed and they went to court. When the judge took a look at both the stories (empty A4 sheets) he dimissed the case and used the A4 sheets to write Sriramajayam and tie it in Alwarpet Anjaneyar kovil tree. Story thirudittan, story thirudittan-nu koovina andha dog-a if me see, tongue plucking question ask: what story? where story? Bleddy fellow.<br /><br />The 'story' revolves around a bio-weapon which scientist Govindarajan (PS: All characters unless and until mentioned are Kamal!) invents and some evil fellows try to put it to wrong use for money. Govindarajan tries to stop them and this results in a fast-paced turn of events within which many of the ten characters are woven nicely, and a few seem to be just there, staring at you. That's Dasavatharam for you. A good entertainer.<br /><br />I may sound cliched if I say that Kamal has done a brilliant job portraying the ten characters. I think there can be no second opinion about it. The effort he has taken to showcase their body languages and accents is simply stunning. The body language of Krishnaveni Paatti and the Kung-fu master were top-notch. Dialogue delivery of Poovaragan, Nambi and my favourite Balram Naidu were clinical. If you are keen on celebrating Kamal Hassan, there is and if I may say, there will never be a better film for you. Just go watch it as many times as you want!<br /><br />Two things which disappointed me about the ten avatars. One, their characterization lacked depth. The roles just had spell-binding acting, but not a single one in my opinion made me 'feel with the character'. Nambi and Poovaragan came close but that's about it. I also expected that the characters would be based on some theme, like the navarasas were portrayed in Navarathri, but that was not there. Two, the make-up. It was brilliant to see that all the ten characters looked different. But is a poochandi mask on the face compulsory? Maybe if it's a fancy dress competition, yes. But we want the guy to be able to emote well. Though Kamal still does a good job with emotions, that's his brilliance, we might have got a better result if they had not been obsessed with make-up!<br /><br />The screenplay was decent. There were bright spots as well as duds. The film moves at a good speed which is its biggest plus but there were far too many disgressions - evils of dealing with too many characters! The main plot is a typical hero villain-chase with Fletcher chasing Govindarajan for the weapon. And there are subplots for the other characters who happen to get involved in the chase and Kamal does a good job connecting these subplots in simple, nice ways. It is not classy treatment, but something appreciable for sure considering this is commercial cinema! At the same time, in certain cases, like Dr. Sethu's (he's not Kamal!) death, there was no reason. The overall scheme of things look chaotic to me. The racy narration will appeal to the audience, but the disgressions and their connection may not appeal as much to the mass.<br /><br />The first half hour of the movie had just too much English and infact had Tamil subtitles! Now, you are making a commercial cinema targeting the mass. You board a train when it is racing past a checkpost. When you jump from a bridge you always land on a nice cosy vehicle below. When Manmohan Singh (he's not Kamal!) and George Bush are listening to your speech (no translators), you speak in "sanga tamizh". Do we care? No, we don't! So please dub the first portion in Tamil and re-release, we won't mind :)<br /><br />The 12th century scenes were the most interesting part of the movie. Nambi was really majestic and portrayed a lot of different emotions during his brief appearance. Napolean (not Kamal) tried his best to speak Tamil, aana paavam he can at best say "Chozha Saamrajyam" as "Sola Seraton". Fletcher was too Terminatorish for my liking, but he had style. Naidu, the cop, was top class especially when he says "Aathankavaathi", ultimate! The screen was so full of Kamal that I had intelligent questions like "Andha kutti koranga nadichathu Kamal-a?" and "Oru velai climax twist-la indha perumal bommai will reveal itself and say Naanum Kamal dhaan. Ivalo naal Perumal veshathula irundhaen a la Thillu Mullu climax?" Avtar Singh was a joke, really. He gets shot and the bullet shot cures his cancer?? This is a too much. Cancer research stop panni, Gabtun-a vittu all cancer-ku 'soot at site' order kodukka sollalam inimae!<br /><br />Asin's (not Kamal) dialogue delivery was brilliant. Her hard work to memorize the dialogues are evident. The only dialogue she had - "Perumaale" (Rhyming bad word I am getting in my mouth-u, but for old time sake, I am no speak) was as likeable as Udit Narayan's Tamil. For the number of times she uttered the word, avalukku VIP seat Vaikuntam-la confirmed - innum oru vaati solli irundha naaney amchu vechiruppaen. Kamal tried to fill in the comedy track with Asin, but it has backfired badly. Neither the dialogue, nor the acting is impressive. And ya!! Mallika Sherawat (not Kamal) plays the role of a Tamil translator. Spashtama pesina. Suththi podanum. Avalukku illa, avalaye suththi kadal-la podanum.<br /><br />The music department was a clear let down. Himesh has to start from Sa Pa Sa and Saralivarisai. I love "Kallai Mattum Kandaal" for the lyrics. BGM was thankfully nice and suited the movie. The special music for Balram Naidu was the best :D The songs did not intrude the movie at any point and that was a really nice thing considering the fact that they had a tough screenplay to handle. It nicely adds on to the commercial aspect. Good job! Climax-la KS Ravikumar (not Kamal) does an item number for Karunanidhi, Manmohan Singh and George Bush :D<br /><br />Art direction and camera work were very impressive and were very apt for the film. There was not grandeur for the sake of it! Sensible. But the much hyped computer graphics - tsunami scene, under water shots look straight out of Finding Nemo kind. For a film of this budget and magnitude, special effects were far from impressive in the sense that you could realize what was graphics and what was not. Just because it is called special effects, it need not specially stand out! I am really surprised that this has happened in a 'tech-savvy' Kamal film.<br /><br />The climax was dramatic. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it was handled in a amateur fashion. When you see a tsunami, would you run? Or would you look at it like Vijay Sarathi in Sun TV Neengal Ketta Paadal and say "Idhu dhaan tsunami"? That's what our Kung Fu master did :) The Krishnaveni Paatti - Poovaragan connection, me likey! Nice touch! Kamal debates with Asin the existence of god who has caused such a tragedy and Asin explains why it has happened for the good. Wokie. Then they show dead bodies all around. Next minute Kamal-Asin romance. Venaam. Valikkuthu. Message sollala-nu ippo yaar azhutha? "Meendum Meendum Sirippu"-la message solliyae aavaen-nu adam pidippangale, like that this comedy!<br /><br />The last dialogue was nice though - "Naan kadavul illa-nu sollaliye, kadavul irundha nalla irukkumnu dhaan sollaraen" :) Kandippa will become popular! I already see this in various places - "Dasavatharathula kadhai illa-nu naan sollala. Kadhai irundha nalla irukkum-nu dhaan sonnaen". Namma pasanga kusumbukku oru alave illa :)<br /><br />Lets not be finicky about logic and thin story-line. The film is meant to be a commercial entertainer and it is a good one. I refuse to accept though that this is the closest Kamal has come to bringing an 'intelligent' script to the masses. The film could have easily been much better and it's not. First, the script is by no means 'intelligent'. Second, he had done a better job with sreenplay in a Virumandi or a Devar Magan.<br /><br />I did not mention Ravikumar anywhere since it was just Kamal's touch I could see throughout the movie. I am guessing Ravikumar was meant to tell Kamal what would be commercial and what wouldn't. In that case he was good, the commercial elements were mixed well. I still feel the treatment should have been more simple than what has come out. That's needed to get repeat audience from B & C and my guess is it will hit the collections. Time will tell the true story.<br /><br />Overall, the film is worth watching once in theater if you are neutral. Leave your brains out and go looking for an entertainer. You will not be disappointed. Dasavatharam is meant to be an exhibition of Kamal's talents and it truly is a grand exhibition. Ensoi thangamani!<br /></div><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-44419456505588164892008-02-11T23:00:00.001+05:302011-12-28T00:25:50.069+05:30First Day @ Work<div style="text-align: justify;">Today was my first day at work. First ever jobless day. Orey the prayers, coconut breakings, feet fallings and all before leaving Chennai. Then in Bangalore, wearing new shirt with kungumam, god prayings and right leg keeping to get on Volvo Bus to office. So many auspicious things doing before joining job.<br /><br />I reach office and am told that me just formalities completing today and given a bunch of forms to fill. And this is what I filled . . .<br /><br />1) I, Praveen Krishnamurthy, hereby nominate X to get my Gratuity benefits in case of my <span style="font-weight: bold;">death during service.</span><br /><br />2) I, Praveen Krishnamurthy, hereby nominate Y to get my Provident Fund in case of my <span style="font-weight: bold;">death during service</span> and this nomination overrides my previous nominations.<br /><br />3) I, Praveen Krishnamurthy, hereby nominate X to get my Life Insurance benefits in case of my <span style="font-weight: bold;">death during service.</span><br /><br />4) I, Praveen Krishnamurthy, hereby nominate Y to get my Widow Pension benefits in case of my <span style="font-weight: bold;">death during service.</span><br /><br />Aiyyo! Why does <span style="font-weight: bold;">everyone</span> have to start work on such a morbid note? Join panna annikkae naan seththa enna nadakkum-nu ezhuthi vaangikkanuma?! Yezhavu!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Update:</span> It seems they lost one of the above forms and I need to die again! Hmph!<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-51982681530112057742008-01-07T00:15:00.000+05:302011-12-25T18:56:53.408+05:30Echa Pasanga Naanga<div style="text-align: justify;">I thought I would never blog again! But, New Year adhuvuma, rendu paera echai thuppi mangalagarama oru post poda vaendiya kattaayam! :)<br /><br />So here goes . . .!<br /><br />Steve and Mark-nu rendu close friends. Paakarthukku rendum total opposites, aana character-wise rendum same worstu behaviour wonly. Oru naal . . .<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">January 1, 1968</span><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Dei Mark, innikku New Year da.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Aiyyo! Nallavela gnabaga paduthina. Namma annachi innum daily sheet calendar kodukkala!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Yaaru Sarathkumar-a?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Chi.. namma maligai kadai annachi da.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Idhukku ellam kavala padatha Mark. Enga veetla avar pona varusham kodutha calendar use pannama appadiye vechirukkom. Adhai vaena naan unakku tharaen da.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Ennai enna muttal-nu nenachiya?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Yaen da?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Pona varusha calendar-a indha varusham eppadi da use panna mudiyum muttal. 1968 leap year-la?<br /><br />*Ippadithaan chinna vayasulaenthey rendu perum romba brilliant. Oru naal they were deciding on their careers*<br /></div><br /><a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2008/01/echa-pasanga-naanga.html">Continue Thupping . . </a><br /><br /><span class="fullpost"><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Steve, 8th standard-la 9th time-a fail aagarom. Varuthama irukka?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Illa da tension-a irukku.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Yaen?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> 10th anniversary celebarate pannama poiduvomo-nu.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Chi! Vera edhavathu field-la achieve pannuvomey?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Padippu varala. Paattu varala. Drawing varala. Sports suththama varala. Ivalo yaen, pichai kooda edukka try pannitom, mudila. Idhukku maela enna da panna mudiyum?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Mudiyum. ICC panel-la umpire-a povom.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Seri ok. Porathu dhaan porom. Fourth Umpire-a povoma?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Why?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Fourth Umpire-na namma kooda andha Mandira ponnu okkarum machi. TV-la kaatuvan.<br /><br />*ICC selects Steve and Mark for the job*<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Cha!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Enna?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Fourth Umpire-a poda sonna, enna da field-la nikka solraanga. Orey veyyil-a irukku.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Don't worry da. Kelvi pattirukkaen ellarayum first field-la dhaan poduvaangalam. Fourth Umpire-ngarthu very senior position. As you grow unakku Mandira pakkathula seat undu.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Ennavo po. Machi naalaikku match. Indha, unakkaga naan soda bottle vaangittu vandhirukkaen. Idha udachu, kannu munnadi vechu paatha kannu paleer-nu theriyum.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Thanks da. Naan unakkaaga sunnambu vaangittu vandhirukkaen. Idha moonjila poosinda un complexion affect aagama irukkum. Appuram Sivaji Rajni maadhiri vellai-a aagiduva.<br /><br />*Match Begins*<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAyY3TQx34UaH78BUqDcKD7iQpVvYk_F8JMt2ShKLkpttETdCaeCkvafk9p8Z8wl6PAEkUgjUQW3VK-DSdr9XkL-PGyK268ViecfRbIMOFG288amPn49CL1WVA3XF9u3D3ub6uEg/s1600-h/steve+and+mark.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAyY3TQx34UaH78BUqDcKD7iQpVvYk_F8JMt2ShKLkpttETdCaeCkvafk9p8Z8wl6PAEkUgjUQW3VK-DSdr9XkL-PGyK268ViecfRbIMOFG288amPn49CL1WVA3XF9u3D3ub6uEg/s400/steve+and+mark.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5152363436430038466" border="0" /></a><br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Machi nee kodutha kannadi semma sharp da.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Ellam nalla theriyutha?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Yes da. Ippo dhaan anga rendu vellai pura joing-nu paranthu poachu. Naan paathutteney!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Ada paavi. Appo ball-a paakaliya nee?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Adha pathi dhaan pesittu irukkaen!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Mark, yaenda en kai-laye innum ball irukku? Match innum aaramikkalaya?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Ada paavi. Ippo lunch break da. Un kai-la irukkartha poosanikka.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Oho. Enakku match aaramichuthu-nu yaen yaarume sollala?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Dei Sachin-a out vaera koduthaye da!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Appadiya? Yaaro nadoola howzzaaa-nu kathinaangale adhukku dhaana? Naan yaaro merattaraanga nenachu konnuduvaen-nu kai kaamchaen. Adhu dhaan out-a? Yaenda sollave illa!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Dei Mark, nee kodutha sunaambu seri illa nenaikkaraen. Eriyuthu.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Yaenda naaye kannu-la ellam poda adhu enna mai-a? Nallavela, osi-la kadachuthu-nu vaera engayum thadavama vittaye.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Ippo eppadi da manage panna?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Loosu. Kai-aala dhaaney out kaatta pora. Appuram edhukku veena kanna tharandhu vechirukka. Nalla moodikko.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Dei appeal panraanga da. Saththam kaekkuthu.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Machi Ponting edho catch-a pudichaan nenaikkaraen. Sure-a therilaye. Enna panna?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Avanaye kooptu kelu da.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Dei Ponting, catch pudichiya?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Ponting:</span> Yes sir, one pitch one hand.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Plum out. Dei Ganguly, loosu payale, one pitch catch-la poi out aaraye vekkama illa?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Kumble, yaen ippadi kaththara?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Kumble:</span> LB appeal.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Leg Byes-ku yaen appeal pannara nee? Kaetta koduthuttu poraen.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Kumble:</span> Aiyyo, Leg Before Wicket. LBW.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Sellathu sellathu. Yaenda mandaya kaal-a stump munnadi vekkama pinnadiya vepaanga. Not out.<br /><br />*Press Conference*<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Journalist:</span> Many decisions in this match were controversial. What went wrong?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Ofcourse, the decisions wonly!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Journalist:</span> Why did you not refer Ponting's catch to the third umpire.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Idhu Ganguly, Ponting and naan sammandha patta vishayam. Idha oru moonavathu manushan kitta kaekka solreengala? Cha!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Journalist:</span> Appo why is there a third umpire?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Idhu neenga avara kaekka vaendiya kelvi!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Journalist:</span> Jaffer was bowled. But it was a no ball. Why did you give him out?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Adhu eppadi irukkara ball-a illa-nu solla mudiyum. Naan poi solla maataen! Umaachi kanna kuthidum!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Journalist:</span> Why did you give Sachin out caught when he did not even play the ball?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Paarunga, naan menakettu andha physio payyan kitta kaettaen. Avan dhaan Sachin-ku mudhugu pudichu vidartha sonaan. So Caught Behind out. Rules are rules.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Journalist:</span> Why did you not give Ponting and Symonds out even when they nicked the ball??<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mark:</span> Idhukku ellam eppadi out kodukka mudiyum. Ellarum dhaan ball-a nakkaraanga!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Journalist:</span> Nakked the ball illa nicked the ball!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve:</span> Appo ball-a nikka vecha thappa?!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Journalist:</span> Aala vidunga! Kumble, how do you feel about the umpiring? Any strategies for the upcoming matches?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Kumble:</span> Yes. Inimae umpire kai thooka try panna non-striker-a vittu kichu kichu mootta solla porom. Vera vazhiye illa!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Journalist:</span> Any comments on Symonds being called monkey?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Kumble:</span> There is nothing racist about it. We called Ricky monkey too, he never bothered. Symonds-ku uruthuthu.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Journalist:</span> Appadiya?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Symonds:</span> Light-a!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Journalist:</span> Ponting, shouldn't you have played the game with sportsmanship? Is this right?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Ponting:</span> It is a matter of integrity and no compromise must be made.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Journalist:</span> Yaarukku?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Ponting:</span> Yaarukko!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Journalist: </span>Last question. Umpires, neenga nallavara kettavara?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve & Mark:</span> Aaah. Aaaaaaah. Therilaye pa! Therilaye!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Kumble:</span> Appo mudhal-la kannadi-a vaangi podunga da echa pasangala!<br /></div><br /><br />Wish you all a very very happy new year!!! A lot of you have stayed with this blog despite all my laziness. Thanks a ton!! :)<br /><br />A quick update. MBA mudiya poguthu. I begin work right from next month! Inimae enna yaarum velai vetti illatha payyan-nu solla mudiyaathu :D<br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-71101960601769108712007-07-27T03:00:00.000+05:302011-12-24T19:35:16.647+05:30New Film Poojai<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Gajananam <span style="font-weight: bold;">bhoodha</span> ghanaathi sevitham<br />
<br />
kabhitha <span style="font-weight: bold;">jamboo</span> palasara pakshitham<br />
<br />
umaasutham sokha vinaasakaranam<br />
<br />
namaami vigneswara paadha pankajam<br />
<br />
*ting ting ting ting* (mani adichings)</div>
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2007/07/new-film-poojai_27.html">Start Meejik. . .</a><br />
<span class="fullpost"><br /><br />
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<a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v716/pravunplugged/Misc/hairy_potter.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v716/pravunplugged/Misc/hairy_potter.jpg" style="height: 360px; width: 500px;" /></a>
<br /><br /><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Starring</span><br />
<br /><br />
Tea.R as Hairy Potter<br />
<br /><br />
Gabtun as Alagesa Goundore<br />
<br /><br />
Sombhu as Kundalakesi<br />
<br /><br />
9thara as Manthagini<br />
<br /><br />
S.J. Soriya as Lord Labakku Das/Adhaan-Unakku-Theriyumae/Iruttu Raasa</div>
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<br /><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Introduction - Pozhacha Pulla</span><br />
*Rasathi Kuppam. Raathiri velai. Purushan sarakku adichu flat. Ponjaathi purushan adichu flat. All thoongings. Gumm iruttu. Thideernu oru moothra sandhu-la moonu uruvam repeat aavudhunga. Rendu aamblingo and oru pombley - Alagesa Goundore, Makku Munima and Pakkiri. Pakkiri kai-la oru koindha*<br />
<br /><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Alagesa Goundore</span> : Pakkiri, koindha inna aachu?<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pakkiri</span> : Inga paarunga, en kai-la dhaan keethu.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Munima</span> : Enna azhagu, ethanai azhagu!<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Alagesa Goundore</span> : Munima, kannadi poduma. Unakku magic theriyara alavukku kooda kannu theriyala.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Munima</span> : Aiyiyo! Indha chinna vayasula ivalo mudi-a?<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pakkiri</span> : Ashwini hair oil use pannuthu. Mudi kottarthu suthama ninnu poachu. Podugu thullai suthama illiyaam.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Alagesa Goundore</span> : Endha aabathum illiye?<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pakkiri</span> : Illinga. Naanum chinna vayasulaenthu adhaan use pannaraen.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Alagesa Goundore</span> : Dei naan uyira pathi kaetta nee mayira pathi pesinu keera.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pakkiri</span> : Imbuttu velai senjirukkaen, idhu paeru innango?<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Alagesa Goundore</span> : Potter. Hairy Potter.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pakkiri</span> : Soakka keethu.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Munima</span> : Mandai-la kodu keetha Pakkiri? Paathiya?<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pakkiri</span> : Ah aan ma. Irunthichu. Aana theliva illa. Idho ippo dhaan oru topaz blade-a vaangi innum oru rendu keeru keeri vittirukkaen. Paarunga pakka-va keethu.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Munima</span> : Appadi. Koindha safe inimae.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Alagesa Goundore</span> : Lord Labakku Das innum saavala.<br />
<br /><br />
*Koindha and one letter-a oru gudisai vaasal-la vechuttu Goundore, Munima and Pakkiri appeat aagitaanga. Appala kaarthaala aavuthu*><br />
<br /><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Veerabagu</span> : Hey Pattani. Ingittu va. Koindha onnu keethu inga. Un jaadai-la keethu di. Mavale, inna panna nee?<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pattani</span> : Seriyaana imsai ba nee. Letter keethu-la. Padicha piriya povuthu.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Veerabagu</span> : Pre-KG la enakku letter reading ellam solli kodukkala ma.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pattani</span> : *reads letter* Aiyiyo. Idhu en thangaachi koindha-yaam.<br />
<span class="fullpost"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Veerabagu</span> : Enakku machinichi irukka-nu sollama sadhi panniteengaley di neeyum unga appanum.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pattani</span> : Enakku bayama keethu.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Veerabagu</span> : Unna paatha naaney bayappadala. Andha koindhaya paathu nee yaen bayappadara?<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pattani</span> : Aiye. En thangaachi Malli evano Siluvai-nu oruthana odi poi kalyanam kattikina. Adhunga rendum oru maadhiri.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Veerabagu</span> : Appadina inna mey aachu?<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pattani</span> : Indha Malli chinna vayasulaye bayangarama magic pannum. Rendu vayasulaye vandhu enga kanna pothittu "Malli kaanum!" appadinu rousu panni enga ellarayum aacharya pada vekkum.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Veerabagu</span> : Oh! Ippo indha koindha yaen inga amchaanga?<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pattani</span> : Idha yaaro Alagesa Goundore eluthina letter. Siluvai-um Malli-um mandai-a poataangalam. Koindha Hairy Potter namma kitta valakkanumnu vuttu poirukkan.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Veerabagu</span> : Aiyayo. Namma payyan Dadhi-a enna panna?<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pattani</span> : Namma paya paerukku yaetha maadhiriye dadhi. Edhukkum indha Hairy payala konjam thalli-ey veppom. Ivana thookki poatta andha Alagesan namma veetukku auto anuppuvaen-nu poattirukkan. Risku vaenaam.<br />
<br /><br />
Alagesa Goundore nencha maadhiri Hairy avan chithi Pattani gudisai-la valaruthu. Hairy padhukaappu romba mukkiyam. Lord Labaku Das-kae dikalty kodutha orey pulla Hairy dhaan. Labakku Das-ku inna aachu-nu yaarukkum theriyaathu. Sila paer solraanga romba tholavu-la irukkara oru kuppathula porukitu irukkaan appadinu. Aana aal ambael. Address-ey illa. Oorey thanni adichu gummalam. Orey kaaranam. Hairy Potter. Pozhacha Pulla.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Note</span> : Maramando shelved and no idea when I am going to finish this one. But as always, let me hope! :)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Disclaimer</span> : All names and characters are fictitious. Resemblence to any popular book is purely coincidental :D<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">PS</span> : HP fans, edhuva irundhaalum pesi theethuppom, ok? :)</div>
</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-58758063374593620192007-07-19T16:15:00.000+05:302011-12-24T10:27:28.903+05:30Ushaar Mein HaiYes. Be careful when you are chatting with a girl and want to ask her "Paathiya?"<br /><br />'P' and 'O' are next to each other on the keyboard.<br /><br />Ushaar. Wokie? :)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-1826351287497342302007-07-10T14:45:00.000+05:302011-12-24T10:29:26.091+05:30Pichakaara Interest Litigation<div style="text-align: justify;">After seeing two pichakaara PILs mentioned in the last two days, I guess its apt to refer to them as Pichakaara Interest Litigation intead. One, the Mumbai Metropolitan chief talked of a PIL to prevent Tata's 1 lakh car from entering Mumbai fearing constipation, nausea, pregnancy and besides other things, traffic congestion. Two, a Congressman has filed a PIL against the film Sivaji for showing a photograph of the villain with Sonia Gandhi and Manmohan Singh claiming that it defames national leaders. The only thing which has come out of this is the important piece of information that Congress regards them as national leaders. I just hope the government has not introduced tax benefits for filing PILs!<br /></div><br />At this rate, what can we expect to see in future?<br /><br /><a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2007/07/pichakaara-interest-litigation.html">Read On . . .</a><br /><span class="fullpost"><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">The cow with yellow teeth in the Happydent Whitening advertisement has filed a PIL in the Madras High Court seeking the ban of the movie Sivaji. It claims that the director took a dig at it by portraying the bad guy with ootha pallu and insulted the entire Go Matha clan. It demands that Shankar use graphics to whiten the ootha pallus, failing which the movie must be banned. As compensation for the damage caused, it demands one year supply of kadalai punnakku and five years supply of horn paint for maattu pongal.<br /><br />All donkeys in and around Chennai city have filed a PIL against Mansoor Ali Khan for using the copyrighted phrase "Ennai Paar Yogam Varum" as the title for his upcoming movie. They claim that Mansoor is trying to gain undue popularity with this move and made it clear to the world that he will not be accepted as one among their species until confirmed reports are obtained through DNA analysis. The shooting of the next Ramanarayan film has come to a halt because of this unprecedented act by the donkeys (the ones with four legs). The director is believed to be persuading Mansoor to keep a more apt title, "Ennai Paar Vandhi Varum", for his movie. Mansoor was not available for comment because nobody bothered to check his availability.<br /><br />The bears in Vandalur zoo have filed a PIL against Vijaya TR stating public humiliation. They claim that ever since the release of Veerasamy, the visitors have all started singing "Varaan paaru varaan paaru Veerasamy" in front of the bear's cage which it claims is the second most humiliating thing which has happened to it. The first, ofcourse, being that it doesn't wear an undergarment. The bears demand a public clarification from Vijaya TR that he is one stage behind them in the evolution process and a disclaimer in all his films that "All characters are fictitious and any resemblences to bears are purely because I quit shaving in 9th standard."<br /><br />Congressmen have filed a PIL seeking that actress Roja should change her name. They demand that because of the popular (once upon a time) actress, the phrase "Nehru Roja Vechirukkaru (nenjula)" is painting a very bad picture of a national leader. Since it is not possible now to change the habit of a person who died decades back, the Congressmen demand that Roja change her name within 24 hours.<br /><br />If the politicians are so idle to think of such things, it is high time they develop a good hobby or join some summer coaching camps. Adha vittutu ippadi kaamedy keemadi pannarthu ellam thevaiya?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Disclaimer</span> : If a work of fiction resembles facts, there is something seriously wrong with the facts :D<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-43585870550692630472007-04-06T02:00:00.000+05:302011-12-28T00:25:50.063+05:30Thalaivar<div style="text-align: center;"><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dVa77vNtApg"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></object><object height="350" width="425"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dVa77vNtApg" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br />Can't wait for the movie!<br /><br />Thanks to <a target="_blank" href="http://superstarksa.com/">Aunty</a> for ripping and uploading it :-)</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-15308837632471470772007-03-20T23:49:00.000+05:302011-12-24T10:32:26.392+05:30Bleddy Budget<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">*Echoos me for trying to make some intellectual comments and all. I also the MBA-nu kaatikka enakku vera vazhi therila!*</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">The Union Budget. A document which has not been understood even by the elite few who deciphered Inzamam's English. A session which has as much viewership as news for the deaf and dumb on DD. An event which recieves so much coverage that it pushes news of national importance like Abdul Kalam tripping and actress Namitha's advise to youngsters about Indian culture to the lower section of the front page of newspapers. A license for the Government to showcase stupidity and, ironically, enlarge their vote banks.<br /><br />The budget makes no sense to the common man. This blog is replete with nonsense. So, what better place to read about something as complex and useless as the budget? :-)<br /></div><br /><a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2007/03/bleddy-budget.html">Continue reading crap . . .</a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="fullpost">Being a socially conscious blogger (oru small effect dhaan, kindly echoos!) with an objective of educating my readers, I managed to sneak into the conference room of UPA (Useless Parties Alliance) to capture the meeting between a bunch of ministers discussing the budget before it was presented. They were Mr. Madmohan, Mr. Chee Bambaram, Mr. Moron, Mr. Sottai Singh and Mr. Lollu.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : I welcome the honorable members . . .<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai </span>: Oh, can I stay then?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lollu</span> : Sottai ji, that is just formality. If only honorable members were to stay, only the watchman would be permitted inside Parliament.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Silence! Please take your seat.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai</span> : 50% seats reserved for rear class. Please follow rule.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : *kottifies on Sottai ji mandai* Chee Bambaram ji, please throw some light on this years budget plans.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : Neenga avara velakku pudikka solreengala?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Moron ji, siththa adha saathindu irukkaela?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Ok ji, what is the major objective of this year's budget?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : To increase the growth rate of the country.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lollu</span> : Oh, you've made condoms expensive?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Economic growth! I have looked into the future and proposed long term measures.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : When will the measures show effect?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : As early as 3007 A.D.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : Late Justice! That is against Dravidian principles!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai</span> : Me also object. Rahul Dravid front class!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lollu</span> : But his wife first class!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram </span>: The government will spend a lot on Health and Infrastructure improvement this year.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lollu</span> : Yes, first invest some for Rabri and improve her structure.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai</span> : Ha Ha. With bad structure Lollu ji have 239 baby, if Devi ji good figure Bihar population all call Lollu as papa.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : What's the expenditure?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lollu</span> : Pure hardwork. No shortcuts. Vali dhaan vetriyin ragasiyamey.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Not you Lollu ji!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : First it will reach the minister, then the state officer, district officer, panchayat leader, country tortoise Sarath Kumar, secretary, car driver, office boy and the watchman. The remaining amount will be available to the general public to buy either a crocin or a brick depending on whether they want to invest it or health or infrastructure.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : We should have more funds for the mid-day meal scheme. Tamil Nadu-la naanga muttai podarom for Mid Day meal.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lollu</span> : Muttai podarthukku neenga enna kozhi-a?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Stop the nonsense please.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai</span> : Oh, meeting over ji?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : I've also increased the investment immensely in Agriculture and Education.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : Why?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Because farmers and illilterates do not know about the Right to Information Act as yet.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai</span> : Act? You mean drama? Then we give all forward ticket to rear class ji, good idea no?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : *pointing at Sottai ji* See the proof.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lollu</span> : So, all investment for Agriculture and Education ministry?! Please, I want that portfolio ji. I want to serve the country!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : Appo Vasantha Bhavan-la server-a join pannu! Madmohan ji, there is nobody educated like me in the whole of India, I should only get that portfolio ji.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Ya nobody else failed four times in fourth standard.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai</span> : Ji, idea. I permit rear class alone to fail eight times in fourth standard. We pass law?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : You first pass SSLC. Chee Bambaram ji, but if nothing progresses will we not lose vote?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : That we can promise home theater system to all farmers before election so that they watch Vayalum Vaazhvum and increase productivity.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : What if they watch midnight masala and increase their reproductivity?! Where do you get such salivated ideas?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : Err...what..?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Indha echai idea ungalukku mattum eppadi thonuthu-nu kekkararu.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : We should probably encourage corporate spending in rural areas to ensure faster growth. Public Private Partnership (PPP) and all.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : The communist parties will oppose it.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Why?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Because they are communist parties.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : How do we please them?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : 1) Keeping quiet. 2) Call for a nationwide strike.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Good then, lets continue with these and then if farmers can't wait until 3007 A.D. and commit suicide, we will punish them.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Yes. We will collect one rupee from their forehead as death tax and impose a surcharge on cotton stuffing in the nose.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai</span> : Ji, idea. We put law that all rear class body lie face down, so rear will come up.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : Ya, then we can promise Sudermani jetty to all the rears below poverty line!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lollu</span> : Jetty below waist line-la?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Let us know what the corporate will be paying.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai</span> : You mean just for jetty?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : *kottufies on Sottai ji mandai* IT companies will also pay MAT.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : We are already getting around 85% from the corporates. Let's concentrate on the defaulters, no?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lollu</span> : No no, mummy paavam. I am honorary member, ji.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Oh, I've ammended Section 80(G) of the I-T Act and made ministers exempt from taxes already. This will ensure that there are no defaulters.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai</span> : 80G? Is it Parle G super saver pack?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Ok, ok. No changes. I heard you were considering DDT too?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai</span> : No no ji. That my area. DDT is Daman District Tribal. They get 7% seat.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Bleddy, I am talking about Dividend Distribution Tax!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : 15% tax will be levied on dividends declared by the companies for the shareholders.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : But didn't you say that DDT is like double taxation because a company pays taxes on its profits and declares dividend only with the remaining amount?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Adhu pona maasam. Naan sollarthu indha maasam!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Super.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Soon I'll include DGT and BJADT also.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Which is?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Dividend Govinda Tax and Bleddy, Just Another Dividend Tax.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Which means?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : That the companies will have to send all dividends directly to the government.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : Ji with all the extra money can we give one Padmashree for my second daughter studying in third standard?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : What is she doing?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : She has great interest in ball porukkifying in tennis matches ji.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai</span> : Oh what a feat. Ji I recommended her for Bharat Ratna under BRKRR scheme.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmoham</span> : ?!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai</span> : Bharat Ratna Kilo Rendu Roobai scheme ji.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lollu</span> : What about the tax slabs?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : I've increased the non-taxable amount by as much as 10,000!!! So each person gets a tax benefit of like 1000 rupees in a year, which is like 3 rupees per day!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : Oh, idhukku paeru benefit-a?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Ippo Royapettah Benefit Fund-nu illa? Adhaala yaarukku enna benefit? (except Kamal) Same logic dhaan.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : Logic-a?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Ya, tax is for them and benefit is for us. Nobody will understand anyways.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : How are you so sure?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Even if people end up understanding the tax laws by mistake, I will make sure they won't understand the tax form.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lollu</span> : But there is this 1% education cess increase which would perhaps cost more than 3 rupees per day?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai</span> : Yayy! We include Bayangara Backward Class as rear category with that money.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Always quota! Were you born in ration shop?! Fine ditch it. Chee Bambaram ji, the corporates are contributing to the growth of the country and we are not giving them any incentives to grow further?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : If we give incentives to them, we cannot meet other important commitments like exempting duty on imported Ferrari's and Bentley's of prominent personalities. Bleddy, I am aiming for inclusive growth. Naalu perukku nallathu seyyanumna edhuvumae thappu illa.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : Yaar andha naalu paer?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Nee, naan, Madmohan ji and Lollu ji.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lollu</span> : Then Sottai ji?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : He has already grown enough. If he grows more he will cause inflation. So I have left him out.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Ah, most imporant. What have you done to control inflation?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : VLCC membership will be free for all now.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Ayyo not that. The economic inflation?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : I am making dog food cheaper. This ensures basic necessity of good food for married men.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Then how will we call this Aam Aadmi Budget?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : The same way we call ourselves a progressive alliance!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : Alright. Don't you feel the inflation is more due to supply side constraints?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : What is the shortage for supply once Lollu ji sets up the Independent Child Factory in Bihar?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lollu</span> : Err. I said there'll be a coach factory there, not a child factory.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : I mean your house.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madmohan</span> : No, I mean Agriculture is growing at such a slow pace that it is not able to supply goods to the market and this scarcity is causing the price rise. Is it not?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sottai </span>: Idea ji. We give Horlicks to farmers. It grow taller, higher and stronger. Yepang, opang, japang!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lollu</span> : Any other reductions?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : I've cut duties.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : Cool. I will now have lesser work.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Not your duties, Moron ji. The duty on items I mean.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : Which means?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Many useful items like umbrella parts, door handles, shower caps, bluish black colour leather seat covers, bathroom slippers, cricket bat rubber grips and masuru from Sottai ji mandai will be extremely cheap.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moron</span> : Oh yaanai mudi maadhiri paanai mudi-a?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chee Bambaram</span> : Ya, laik that wonly.<br /><br />. . . and thanks to the live telecast on DD, we all know how the farce ended! :-)<br /><br />Unfortunately, the first budget I tried to make sense of was utter nonsense :-(<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Disclaimer</span> : I completely disown this post. It has been reproduced verbatim from piece of paper lying on the streets of Andheri. All legal disputes may thus be directed to the municipal corporation of Mumbai, if such an entity exists! :-)<br /><br />Thanks to <a target="_blank" href="http://anagnosticgoingcrazy.blogspot.com/">Sruthi</a> for the budget data and being of help for the first time ever! :-)<br /><br />And importantly, Happy Birthday <a target="_blank" href="http://thedreamydryad.blogspot.com/">Sandhya</a>! :-)<br /></span><br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-65366127257323423112007-02-18T17:30:00.000+05:302011-12-28T00:20:56.785+05:30How to become President<div style="text-align: justify;">India is claimed to be a land of equality. To validate this claim, the Government had already taken an <a target="_blank" href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2006/04/arjun-singh-exclusive-interview.html">innovative </a> step towards making everybody in the country equally backward. Next, it is <a target="_blank" href="http://www.rediff.com/movies/2007/feb/15msg.htm">rumoured</a> that steps are being taken to make even the post of President reachable to the common man.<br /></div><br /><a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2007/02/how-to-become-president.html">Learn how to apply . . .</a><br /><span class="fullpost"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1) Application Form</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a target="_blank" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisJSwHw0sd7vwpUABLzu9xfYtU1btGu3Y4JU9xaHjc2e70XmwIE1pCXv3-DyjuO0NoFVy9I4u8NL-Hf26tkclizHYzTx8RKdfRzK-tLk-vs-73k3OH6CnTTNSCrqgttjr8yoFcsQ/s1600-h/application.jpg"><img style="width: 152px; height: 186px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisJSwHw0sd7vwpUABLzu9xfYtU1btGu3Y4JU9xaHjc2e70XmwIE1pCXv3-DyjuO0NoFVy9I4u8NL-Hf26tkclizHYzTx8RKdfRzK-tLk-vs-73k3OH6CnTTNSCrqgttjr8yoFcsQ/s320/application.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">The application form above has been issued by the Samajwadi Party for them to evaluate the candidate whom they would be backing. Take a print out of the form, fill it up and send it to them at yervadi@samajwadi.com.<br /><br />If you haven't started wondering how would you e-mail a print out, the chances of your application being considered are very bright. Congrats.<br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2) TASMAC Challenge</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Buy a quarter from your nearest TASMAC outlet and collect the letters below the bottle cap. If you succeed in forming the word 'President', you get to participate in the Guduvancheri Spelling Bee contest. If you form the word 'Amhithabbh Bachchchann', you will get the support of the Government to run for President.<br /><br />Terms and Conditions Apply. This is fine print and is not supposed to be visible. If you are able to read this, call 100 and say 'Mamu, therithu ba' and you will be prostituted or prosecuted as the company deems fit.<br /></div><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3) SMS Contest</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Send an SMS to 35007 saying "Pliss, I also the President" and you will be automatically considered. Charges Rs. 10 per message. The money collected will be donated to Shilpa Shetty Welfare Association for building a temple for her in London. Media will be given 10% of the funds to encourage them to cover the event in depth.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Disclaimer</span> : Facts in the above post are as credible as promises in an election manifestoes. Anything which seems insulting is purely a result of possessing knowledge which is against the ideologies of this blog!<br /></div><br />Cheers :)<br /><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-45471720456765399102007-02-14T03:00:00.000+05:302011-12-24T10:33:31.959+05:30Veerasamy, The Bold God<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3RtOMn1vkRy4LhsJN8eLnoF2iTzbuEbpwC8QcZt9jN81smpBxAvG0iu3kSQRgFhaTI62ZMy4TyKcNcrf9cHblbjJwJDZBXqqw4vLmhOKrDqCwdReHciCAi42cN3KiOtbyAhM4IQ/s1600-h/veerasamy.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5030683570790741042" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3RtOMn1vkRy4LhsJN8eLnoF2iTzbuEbpwC8QcZt9jN81smpBxAvG0iu3kSQRgFhaTI62ZMy4TyKcNcrf9cHblbjJwJDZBXqqw4vLmhOKrDqCwdReHciCAi42cN3KiOtbyAhM4IQ/s320/veerasamy.JPG" /></a></div>
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First, congratulations for seeing the pic and staying alive to read this. If you were thinking that the snap was taken last year during the elephants' yearly vacation in Mudumalai, you are probably viewing a thumbnail. Joom in, view full size and you will repent for calling elephants fat. There you have India's answer to Jurassic Park : Veerasamy, a Vijaya TR film. A bunch of us representing the Chennai Cheri Bloggers Association relished the fruits of the good deeds we did during our previous birth by watching the best entertainer ever produced, beating Captain's <a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2006/03/sudhesi-must-watch.html" target="_blank">Sudhesi</a> and <a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2005/07/simha-narasimha.html" target="_blank">Narasimha</a> hands down.<br />
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*You may read the review without any fear of spoilers. I assure you that there is no story to let out*</div>
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<a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2007/02/veerasamy-bold-god.html">Start the Jungle Safari . . .</a><br />
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<span class="fullpost">The screening rights for Veerasamy were bagged by a whopping 43 theaters in the city. Unfortunately only one theater managed to acquire a floodlight to project the film, without which it was impossible to penetrate TR's hair and get the picture on screen. Abirami mega mall is a pepped up version of Saravana Stores with 19 people appointed specifically to do a Tirupati style <span style="font-style: italic;">jarugandi jarugandi</span> at the entrance. The theater was maintained as well as the toilet at Sathyam Cinemas with clear instructions for the visitors to spit their paan on the walls and not on the floor. Watv, lets start!</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost">The city is troubled by Rousu Rani who is doing a gouravamaana vibachaara business. She tries to expand her business to a Special Economic Zone which happened to be Veerasamy's area. The bad guys start bullying people. Suddenly, four people fly out of an asbestos tent. Bang. The tent door opens. There is a road roller parked there. Joom in. It's Veerasamy in black and black to complement his kumkumapoo colour. Weapons are thrown at him but nothing happens since he has as much hair on his body to shield him from a nuclear attack. Karnanukku eppadi oru kavasa kundalamo, adhey maadhiri TR-ku mayiru. This is followed by amazings stunts in which Veerasamy jumps atop cars and eliminates the bad guys. It was the first time in history that an Ambassador car sustained damage.</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost">Veerasamy is a highly respected bear in his constituency. M.A.B.L padichirukkaaram, adhavathu andha naalu alphabets avarukku thorough-va theriyum. He is also an MLA. That mishap occured in the year Salman killed the blackbucks, which resulted in a huge sympathy wave for all animals including bears. He appears whenever people are in trouble and solves their problem by staring at them, thereby making them realise that there are bigger problems in life. When a corrupt official tells a poor guy, "Indha kaaryam nadakkanumna weight-a edhavathu kodu", bear appears with a paarangal and asks "Indha weightu podhuma?" The officer wonders whether Veerasamy was referring to the paarangal or himself!</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost">Mumtaz has taken up the most challenging role in her career, which is to constantly drool at Veerasamy. In most scenes she lands up in trouble and is rescued by Veerasamy making the audience wonder whether MLA stands for Member of Legislative Assembly or Mumtaz Lovers Association. She is delighted when she gets a job as a servant at Veerasamy's house for the only reason that she had never seen a zoo.</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost">Veerasamy has a sister who he holds close to his heart. [<span style="font-style: italic;">Trivia: The closest anybody can get to TR's heart is a distance of 1.3 km taking into account all the masculine hair</span>] Never in the history of Tamil cinema have TR's parents died without giving him a girl child to take care of. *tortoise coil* One thin boy [who would have been ragged to death in school by now for playing junior Veerasamy] affectionately feeds his sister bread and porai. However, looking at their current sizes, that was probably the only scene in which she got to eat! The boy works for daily wages in a construction site and makes his sister study in a convent [confirming his knowledge of M,A,B,L]. He also talks about a billionaire Ibrahim Ravuthar who had brought him up and died subsequently due to lack of funds.</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost">The sister, Senthamizh, falls in love with a 'guy', R.Arun brother of RousuRani. He looked like a person whose sex change operation was halted mid-way due to shortage of a few vital organs. He is a modern guy with something like a Navarathri golu padi screw in one of his ears. Though Veerasamy is againt their love, he fights till the end because he knows that avan azhagukkum arivukkum sathyama vera yaarum kadaikka maatanga.</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost">The romance between Veerasamy and Mumtaz is elevated to new heights. Mumtaz steals Veerasamy's Pears soap and uses it. Do bears use Pears? Anyways, Mumtaz passionately uses the soap thinking about Veerasamy and feels so proud probably because she rescued the soap. She starts hallucinating that Veerasamy is on top of her. Fortunately for her, they remained hallucinations. She lies down everyday on a poster of Veerasamy which was printed on paper manufactured by destroying half the bamboo trees in China. But for Itch Guard, she wouldn't have been able to rest her face on his beard. She drinks the water dripping down from his beard, as a result of which she had cholera for fifteen days and the shooting was postponed. Finally, in an ultimate expression of love, she tattos his name on her chest! [Am considering quitting MBA and becoming a tattoo artist]</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost">Songs take up 140 mins of this 150 minute film. 9 minutes have been used for TR punch dialogues and 1 minute for the story. Almost all songs have the word Veerasamy in them, be it a duet for his sister and ajakku or an oppari song for a person in his thoguthi. It is said that TR put in a lot of effort and refused to shit for two days upto the song shooting. His perfect steps are a tribute to the dance classes he attended at Slim Line Gym. He has worn everything from sherwani to suits to plain undraayer revealing lungi, but always managed to look like a jute bag containing Ponni raw rice. The songs have been picturised in grand sets which make as much sense as having a room heater in Chennai. There is a special romantic song with Mumtaz in a tub of milk. Only two packets of milk were used for it but the tub appeared full when TR and Mumtaz stepped in.</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost">Veerasamy is faced with too many problems. He loses the elections and compares himself with MGR, Kamarajar and Sachin Tendulkar to justify the loss. Luckily for him, the first two are dead and the third one does not know Tamil. Police arrest him under ganja case and tell the Commissioner, "Ivana adichu road-la jetty-oda izhuthuttu varanum-nu nenachaen sir, aana pannala" to which a person from the crowd promptly added, "yaena avan jetty podala sir". Mumtaz is forcibly married off to the new MLA. Dejected, Veerasamy jumps into a rocking chair and defies the laws of physics by not toppling it. Tears drip over his beard and reach his mouth which is opened like the lid of a western closet. In all senti scenes he pointlessly looks around like Pithamagan Vikram. He blurts out, "Enna dhaan irundhaalum naanum manushan dhaaney ya" for which the crowd unanimously cheered a "Illa, karadi!"</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost">In the climax, Veerasamy fights Rousu Rani's rowdies with an aruval and also dances simultaneously because of which his dhothi falls down to reveal his undraayar. Impressed by what they saw, Sudarmani Inc has signed TR as the brand ambassador for their latest free size jettys. Veerasamy picks up his dhothi and continues the steps he learnt in Gemini Circus during his internship. In one last romantic depiction, Veerasamy's dhothi orasifies Mumtaz face during the fight. After succesfully nadathi vechufying his thangaachis marriage, Veerasamy looks down and finds that he has been standing in his jetty aka undraayar for the past fifteen minutes. Avamaanam thaangama he sits down on his rocking chair. The chair doesn't rock. Thamizh cinema dictionary padi, doctor kannadi kazhattinaalo, aadara chair/oonjal ninnalo aal gaali-nu artham. Mumtaz dies too since she had been holding her breath ever since dhothi had orasified her face. The whole theater gave Veerasamy a standing ovation for his energetic body language even after death.</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost">TR had said that he is very slim in the film. Very true. He is the second slimmest person in the film, next only to Mumtaz. The entire cast is eligible for transport only via cargo. It is thus capable of breaking the box-office itself. He has worn sleeveless shirts, track suits and tried his best to look 'youth', but ended up looking something rhyming. Simbhu photo appears throughout the film and beats the 'Pulli Rajavukku AIDS varuma?' campaign for being the most effective disease awareness campaign.</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost">TR is the producer, director, story writer, script writer, art director, music director, singer, cinematographer, clap-board handler, light boy, office boy, hero and comedian in the movie. This has ensured that all aspects of the movie were equally bad except for comedy because it was unintentional.</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost">The film is doing brisk business and is a potential threat to <a href="http://sudhishkamath.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Sudhish's</a> 'That Four Letter Word' which is releasing later this month. It is rumoured that the TV rights for the film recieved bids from international channels like National Geographic, Discovery and Animal Planet leaving Sun TV with no chance at all.</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost">On the whole, please make sure that you watch the movie on the big screen if you want to watch the whole of TR! :) TR-in sevai indha naatukku thevai!</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Note 1)</span> Happy New Year :D Vaakku thavara maatom-la! :P</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Note 2)</span> Happy Valentines Day! Stop gifting teddy bears to your girl friends. Be creative and buy tickets for Veerasamy to show her the real bear! :)</span><br />
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<span class="fullpost"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Note 3)</span> 30 more posts and one lakh more hits! Thanks a ton!! Pardon my laziness! :) I am getting back to my old commenting system not withstanding the trouble of spammers :(</span><br />
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</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-1167073126482785932006-12-26T23:59:00.000+05:302011-12-25T18:56:53.394+05:30'Genderal' Science<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;">*Warning: This post contains few gross matter references. Reader discretion is advised. Children are requested not to seek parental guidance and damage their image as well as mine in the process*</span><br /><br />Science stands for truth. Nothing is accepted without proof. Thus, speaking scientifically, political science is the best oxymoron known to mankind. A proof establishes new facts using already established facts. Like, Vijaya TR being the dad of Chimpu is an established fact [Source: Animal Planet]. Using this to establish the genetic similarities between a gorilla and chimpanzee is establishing new facts, which are increasingly more complex than the established facts. In short, this process is the sole cause of science text books being as voluminous as Vijaya TR himself. The resulting complexity makes science students wish that Newton had sat under a coconut tree instead.<br /><br /><a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2006/12/genderal-science.html">Read on...</a><br /><span class="fullpost"><br />Proof was first stressed in the age of the kings in India. I am making this statement with a reasonable certainity since irrespective of whether we practice something or not, we always have ancient records which undoubtedly indicate that we were the pioneers. King Ashoka was the first to point out that war was indeed a bad thing, which he proved by making thousands of people shed blood. Pallavas proved that sea water is capable of eroding rocks by building temples along sea shores. There was thus a craze to prove anything and everything. One such proof was the gender proof. The members of a kingdom used to prove their gender to the king by going to his 'andhappuram'. The gender was determined by whether the person bent front or back for the king. This was the first ever case of gender test known to mankind.<br /><br />The first gender test carried out on a global scale was in the 1960s during the Olympics, after reports reached the officials that Karan Johar was born. His/her birth made the officials realize that a middle path could be taken too. He/she opened up a new school of thought. So they started insisting on gender test to ensure fair participation in the games, especially in the women's category.<br /><br />Initially, as part of gender test, the athletes were required to parade nude in front of a panel of gynecologists. This suddenly threw open a new job opportunity for millions of youngsters who realized that work could be fun. The boom of male gynecologists which started then is yet to subside, since SEX was etched in the minds of guys even before there was big bang [If you are a guy and thought this was something like gangbang, you are a potential gynecologist!]. The practice was discontinued after the news of the birth of a baby named Prakash in TamilNadu, which impregnated the delivery nurse, reached the Olympic officials.<br /><br />Clinical tests which determined the chromosomes of the athlete soon came into the picture. However, the procedure was termed to be as accurate as the weather predictions of Chennai Meteorological department. When Karan Johar was certified to be male, women's welfare organization came to the rescue and filed a petition to withhold the results of such spurious tests. Trivia: Karan Johar took part in the 2000 Sydney Olympics Marathon and won the gold medal at the 2004 Athens Olympics Marathon, when he finally completed the event after numerous shittings on the way which shifted his priority from completing the event to getting the shit cleaned up soon, just like he does with his movies.<br /><br />The IAAF was the first to stop this practice, not because it felt that it was humiliating, but because the athletes had to submit a urine test under close medical supervision; which means someone will stare over there when you pee into a glass, if only you manage to gather some pee under external pressure and let it go with sufficient internal pressure to satisfy the needs of the person who is probably holding the glass for you. The IOC stopped this practice after male gynecologists protested against the unnecessary use of technology which was unreliable and urged to get back to the old practice which was natural and ofcourse, a lot of fun.<br /><br />The Olympics Council of Asia alone continues the practice because they think this is the coolest new thing which is in. Their records are so inaccurate that they still do not know that the process itself is inaccurate! They argue that without testing it is not possible to differentiate amongst the Chinese male and female who all have a flat nose and mostly flat everything else. Why not take gender tests as an eligibility criteria instead of making one famous and humiliating them? No, no, never, they there just for jetty....if everyhting happens according to logic, I would have to shut down this blog :)<br /><br />Santhi Soundararajan was recently stripped of her silver medal in Doha Asian Games because she failed a gender test. The tests used latest technology of vethalai-la mai thadavarthu, which were far more accurate than the methods Arjun 'Sottai' Singh used to determine the percentage of backward caste people in the country. Santhi has so far been declared male twice and female once based on similar tests and the decision was based on a best of three basis. Since accuracy of the test is a concern, a best of five approach is being recommended by the Olympic Council for future games.<br /><br />NDTV flashed the news as "India's Shame" because, in an attempt to deliver the news first to their viewers, it parsed the information so quickly that it interpreted "Santhi stripped of silver medal in Asian Games" as "Santhi stripped in Asian Games". With this authentic news it collected by advanced Chinese Whisper techniques, this is how they worked out their headlines: Strip = Nude = Puppy shame = India's shame. The quick work is all set to earn the channel the award for the best news channel in India for the year 2006.<br /><br />The Government of India was unavailable for comment on the issue since they had much pressing issues like the performance of Indian cricket team in South Africa, deciding on the next hot chic after Sania to award the Padmashree etc to discuss in the assembly. Besides, India was already in a healthy situation with a total tally of 201 medals (in all Asian games put together, obviously) that one silver medal was going to make any difference at all. By telepathy, a far more reliable technique than gender tests, it was found that Dr. Mani Shankar Aiyer, our Sports Minister, was reflecting on his goals - to groom new talent, filter them based on looks and finally have a huggable product.<br /><br />We the people of India, solemnly swear to nurture talent irrespective of caste [general category excluded], creed, religion, state and economic background [eligible if annual income > 3 lakhs] as long as you are a hot chic. If not, please apply for sports quota in IITs.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Disclaimer:</span> Unless you are the person being accused, all these are facts. If you are being accused, you must know that the previous statement is false :)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Note:</span> This marks my second anniversary in blogosphere. Chennai vandhu I have met bloggers on three occasions and this is my first blog :D<br /><br />Lotsa topics to write on. But interest dhaan illa. To rejuvenate some interest in blogging I am gonna analyse my Google Adsense Revenues and optimize them, till I can find a better strategy :)<br /><br />Hope you guys had a merry xmas!! Happy New Year adutha blog-la wisharaen! Tata :)<br /></span><br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-1164485409889670682006-11-26T01:45:00.000+05:302011-12-24T10:38:37.624+05:30Err<div style="text-align: justify;">You must have heard of reinventing the wheel, but ever heard of reinventing the clock? It's simple really. All it takes is a little bit of carelessness and people <a target="_blank" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/7930/728/1600/684482/XLRI%20Comedy.jpg">here</a> already have the first movers advantage! :)<br /><br />Decided to take part in some competitions before I get back to this blog, but why say no when something comes knocking? :)<br /><br />Am pretty convinced that the web development was outsourced. But why choose one who doesn't know the difference between 'therapist' and 'the rapist'? Enna kodumai idhu, Saravanan? :)<br /><br />To err is human. To forgive this, you must be a swine! :)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">In other matters:</span><br />1) <a target="_blank" href="http://features.ibnlive.com/features/2006/goldensouth/tn/tn.php">Vote</a> asap if you find the choices convincing!<br />2) Chimpu <a target="_blank" href="http://sify.com/movies/tamil/fullstory.php?id=14334618">speaks</a> like lord langotti after doing <a target="_blank" href="http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=simbhu+kiss&search=Search">all this</a>.<br />3) If you interested in kavithai and other senti matters, go <a target="_blank" href="http://priyachary.blogspot.com/">here</a> since am trading foreign chocolates for visitors to that site and keeping up my vaakku :)<br /><br />Ippothikku ambuttu dhaan. Next meet pannaraen :)<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-1163273695895161842006-11-12T20:30:00.000+05:302011-12-24T10:38:53.396+05:30Dharmapuri : Review<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/1600/dharmapuri.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/320/dharmapuri.jpg" /></a><br /></div><br /><br />Lifestyles have advanced so much these days that police are kept on high alert with intelligence information indicating a possible Al Qaeda terrorist attack. If only such advancements existed three decades ago, many tragedies like the birth of our very own 'Imsai Arasan' <a target="_blank" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perarasu">Perararasu</a> could have been easily avoided. The man's image among the masses has made the likes of Gillette consider marketing their new series of razors with the 'Perarasu' tag. Anyways, lets concentrate on the real hero of the film, our very own Gabtun!<br /><br /><a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2006/11/dharmapuri-review.html">Read the Captain sized review. . . </a><br /><span class="fullpost"><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="fullpost">The year 2006 has been the best year for Captain fans with three of his films hitting (and damaging) the screens. Dharmapuri was believed to be a <a target="_blank" href="http://www.behindwoods.com/tamil-movie-news/july-06-01/03-07-06-vijayakanth.html">youthful love story</a> when it was announced. I was taken aback then. The only way a Captain film could be a youthful love story was the heroine being a narcissist. Nonetheless, I decided to check out the film while in Chennai. With great difficulty <a target="_blank" href="http://prabhukrish.net">Ferrari</a>, <a target="_blank" href="http://magixncurses.blogspot.com">Magix</a> and myself got tickets for the night show at Woodlands Symphony, where we were the only ones who did not drive an auto or rick.<br /><br />Two villains named Peruchaalikaruppu (Rat black) and Silandhikaruppu (Spider black), while the name of their dad is Mokkaiyan (Perarasu) adichufy in many villagers stomach. [Most of the pre-production work of the film involved naming of characters] The villagers realise this is because they were unable to karachufy the oorlaye periya manushans asthi in their oor, which they decide unanimously in their AiNa sabai meeting under aala maram. Tamil cinemas unwritten rule states that all the 18 pattis are by default headed by Vijaykumar, or atleast by his photo if he is already dead. They believe that Vijaykumar's aathma has not attained shanthi [Yaen ellarum Shanthi-a adayanum-nu aasai padaraanga? Ava enna appadi oru gumeel figure-a?] and only his son Sivaram can karachufy it [appadiye asthi karaikka NIIT course padichirukkanum-la]<br /><br />Four edupudis of Vijaykumar set out to find Sivaram with a chinna vayasu photo. They however roam from city to city since they actually do not know which city the guy is in [Padathula yaarum logic illa-nu sollida koodaatham]. In Rameswaram they adopt the Singara Velan's 'mayiru kudu Sumathi kaataraen' technique. Joom panni paatha one big image with a yellow-black-red ring as big as Nokia 3310. Camera slightly going up. I was glad to discover that Captain was not standing in the same Singara Velan Kushboo pose. Instead he had turned his head. Ellam oru effect dhaan. Whatever said and done, Captain is a mass hero aachae; mass ofcourse can take more than one meaning here.<br /><br /><a target="_blank" href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=fWWN5UJBdwQ">Captain intro</a>. Rowdy gets hold of a girl and shoots Police mama who comes to rescue her. Mama cap flies off and Captain catches it. Oru oattai cap-a pudichuttu perumaiya oru look viduvaar. Bad guy shoots at Captain. Bullet in slo mo. I thought Captain was going to bend in Keanu Reeves style and dodge the bullet. But no. I guess neraya ippadi kuninju he had iduppu vali. So he decided to stay still. The bullet hits his chest and bounces back to kill the bad guy! To make this logical, Captain takes an archanai thattu hidden inside his shirt which was fastened to his body by means of an arana kayiru and throws it down. Impressed by this, our Chief Minister has promised to give away free archanai thattus to all families below poverty line and arana kayiru to all the backward classes to protect themselves from terrorist attacks.<br /><br />Captain and his friend supply chairs for marriages, but still he does all charity as if he is Gulf return. The title song "Annan kotayila kodi parakkamuda" was penned by Peraruvai to suit Captain's image. But he failed to anticipate that a slight mispronounciation of kotai can cause great embarassment to Captain. Meanwhile the edupudis manage to trace Captain with Google Earth since he was the only person in Rameswaram to be visible from a satellite picture.<br /><br />Start flashback. Vijaykumar was the oor periya manushan who insisted that not even one pudi sand should go out of the village as sand and they should make earthenware and sell it. Idha oru periya mayiru policy-a vechundu kaalam muzhukka he was there. One day, he supplies hundred earthern horses as a gift to the temple and like moolai ketta naai keeps all the horses by the pond so that his brother Mokkaiyan pushes ten horses into the pond to spoil his name. Later when the oor makkal tell him, "Ayya paththu kuthirai kuraiyuthu ya", instead of just replacing them, like periya pudungi he shouts "endra solli poatta neeyii", that they have sandhega pattufied him. Vijaykumar is the closest relative of kavari maan that mankind knows of, so he dies soon, telling them that his asthi should be karachufied in the same oor. When they try to fulfil his last wishes, Spiderblack and the other black stop them. Adhaan matter. Captain also vaguely remembers that he was playing hide and seek with his murai ponnu at that time and was about to open a koodai to check if he can go hit eyes boys!<br /><br />Now Peraruvai gives a twist. Captain takes a promise from the edupudis that he will do lot of thillalangadi in village, but nobody should complain. The entire village is waiting for Captain's arrival. His murai ponnu is also waiting to sight adichufy him [Kali kaalam]. Captain cleverly swaps roles with his servant who enters the village as Sivaram and his murai ponnu is mighty disappointed. Ofcourse unmai therinja disappointment suicide aagi irukkum. All edupudis now only remember the promise and understand Captain's plans. Idhu enna periya Pokhran anu gundu plan-nu suspense-a vechirundhaaro therila.<br /><br />Captain will be sleeping in kayathu kattil with the ropes almost touching the ground. Bad guys come to kill him. As and when the villains come nearby he will shake his leg or arm, the bad guys bulti adichu fall down and the kattil understandably breaks. Cut. Next shot. New kattil. One more bad guy and more kattil. Art director suggested that they can use thenna maram instead of thengai naaru to support Captain. Idhu enna Shankar padama onnuku poratha irundhaalum adha Ohio-la porathukku? Peraruvai is budget masala director. So he refuses the offer and manages by making the bad guys run away by showing his face in close up.<br /><br />Heroines of Captain movies always thurathi thurathi sight adichufy Captain. Ippadi oru role accept pannara alavukku paavam avanga kudumbathula enna kashtamo. Mama yaaru-nu kandu pudikka pora vazhila oru koodai veppa namma heroine. Servant will walk off, but Captain nice-a poi will check if his murai ponnu is still under the koodai. Ippadi patta soft, touching senti scenes-ku match panna mudiyaama dhaan Mani Ratnam Mumbai poitaaru padam edukka. Enna oru emotion. Cha. But if a person sits inside a koodai for 25 years in two bathroom position, she can survive only if she has some compelling reason to do so. If looking at Captain's face 25 years later is that compelling reason, then she'd rather die a peaceful death. This scene thus stands out as the biggest flaw in this otherwise completely logical movie. The edupudis fix up marriage of heroine with Sivaram. Thinking Subramani to be Sivaram, she decides to hang herself and fan-la she kayiru kattifies and stands on a stool. Her father rushes in and vendha pun-la verala paachara maadhiri tells her that Sivaram is Captain and not the servant. That was enough reason for her to kick the stool. But idha graphics-la edit pannitaanga. It still is a budget film. Graphics was used because Captain offered to help free of cost and MS Paint poi rubber vechu stool-a azhichutaaru.<br /><br />Interval vidarthukku munnadi Captain says oru <a target="_blank" href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=dz4a9Liajvw&mode=related&search=">super punch dialougue</a> to the villains who are trying to kill him. "Enna nambaravangalukku naan nambikkai. Nambaathavangalukku....", tshk tshk tshk, Captain splits into three Captains on screen and the audience wake up in fear, "echarikkai". Actually by default Captain said "thumbikkai", which was later changed during dubbing. Rocking BGM by Srikanth Deva, who plays part time music in films and full time in Kannammapettai.<br /><br />Now Captain sees that the entire village has named their sons Meiyappan (our kavari maan's name). Meiyappan I, Meiyappan II, Meiyappan III [King George III irukkarchae Meiyappan III irukka koodatha enna?] appadinu one one kid tells his name [now we know why female infant moratlity ratio is high in villages, yes, Vijaykumar dhaan kaaranam] and Captain-ku orey grass itchings. He gets into serious action. There is this ayyanar kovil festival in which oor periya manushan dressed as ayyanar runs around the village. Captain oor-a suthi odina, suthi vara oor irukka vaenaama? That's why he made the servant act as Sivaram. Classy touch from Peraruvai, with layers of the plot slowly being unravelled. So Subramani runs as ayyanar around the village and the bad guys try to kill him, when Captain takes this avataram. . .<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/320/images.jpg" /></div><br /><br /><br />Body full-a sandal. Sathyamangalam is now obviously out of the map. In this costume even ayyanar would have been shit scared to come in front of Captain. The bad guys were shattered.<br /><br />Next, Captain lures Spiderblack and Ratblack by selling them both the same piece of land in return for hopsital turned club and school turned wine shop, which kavari maan had built. After fooling them, he re establishes the school and the hospital in the name of Meiyappan. Innum toilet vaasal-la gents and ladies bathila Meiyappans and Meiyammas-nu ezhutharthu mattum dhaan baaki. School, teacher, students ellarukkum name Meiyappan dhaan. Proxy poda easy.<br /><br />After enough action, Peraruvai has given a fast paced duet for Captain with orey fast beats and you can <a target="_blank" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/1600/dharmapuri2_1024_131006.0.jpg">see </a> how much weight Captain has lost. Captain's best by far. The human rights commision is recommending this song as a substitute for the death sentence of Saddam Hussein. Rumours say that Saddam has indicated his preference to be hung nude in public instead of being subjected to this. Verdict, as always, is pending.<br /><br />Climax-la Peraruvai has brought Captain's presence of mind to the fore and made us realise its absence. Spiderblack, Ratblack, Mokkaiyan and MLA come with an army of people to take away sand after realising Captain is Sivaram. Fifty people stand in front of Captain, one behind the other, in height order. One punch from the man. They fall like dominos. The fiftieth person doesn't move away even though he knows that the tenth person has started falling. Selai maadhiri nipaanga and they all fall down making a "aaah" sound. Valikkuthaam. Then without getting close to Captain, they all run to fetch the sand. Captain warns them. Then he takes out an MP3 player remote which has 3 buttons in it and activates 30 bombs with it. How? Diwali-ku orey thiri-la 7 shots vedikkuthu-la, ennikkavathu how-nu kaettirukeengala? Adhey dhaan idhuvum.<br /><br />The villains then go to school and catch hold of Meiyappans VI, X and XXI. They announce in the speaker that they have got a bunch of Meiyappans with them and they make the Meiyappans cry into the mic to make Captain realize the seriousness of the issue. Captain rescues the kids and appifies mannu on the villains face and they gasp for breath. When they are about to collapse, Captain pours water on their face to save them. They open their eyes. See Captain. Die.<br /><br />Appuram "Annan kotayil kodi parakkumada" paattu replay panni embarass pannitaanga Captain-a, paavam.<br /><br />Peraruvai also made a guest appearance as a lawyer, mentioned all his movies till date and assured the audience that he will surely direct more movies. Irukkara mokkai poraathu-nu Steven Spielberg range-ku dialogue vaera. Narayana indha kosu tholla thaanga mudila da, marandhu adichu kollunga da!<br /><br />The film had a lot of political flavour to it. I understand they are trying to project They Mu Thi Ka [not ketta vaarthai, katchi name]. Adhukkaga jetty kooda yellow-red-black la podarthu is a too much. Captain also has a sandhanam-kungumam (yellow-red) combo always on his forehead. If you are wonderin where's black, hey, that's our man! Poraatha kurai-ku lotsa Captain praising dialogues like . . .<br /><br />'Ivaru naadodi illa da, naadodi mannan' [Next enna ivaru Sudhesi illa da Paradesi-a?]<br /><br />'Ivaru kootani amaikka maataru da, thani aala dhaan nipparu' [Thani aal-ey kootani maadhiri irundha appuram kootani edhukku thaniya?]<br /><br />Overall it is a treat for Captain fans, especially for the guy sitting next to me who made a big issue about somebody dancing during the title song saying that he can't see Captain on screen. Sathyama this happened. I was thinking appadiye Captain maranjuttalum!!<br /><br />Thats just all I can remember from the movie!! Long time aachu, ellam google amukks pannitu pogavum :D<br /><br />This post is dedicated to <a target="_blank" href="http://thewitchyangel.blogspot.com">Witchu</a> who had her birthday a week back and failed to remind me to wish her! I don blame her at this old age though :D<br /><br />And best wishes to all those writing that dreaded exam next week. CAT! Special wishes to Magix who is writing it on his birthday :)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Note</span>: The lack of spoiler warnings for this movie might piss off some ardent Captain fans. But what do I do when the whole movie is a spoiler? :D</span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com80tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-1162232796959100892006-10-31T02:00:00.000+05:302011-12-28T00:25:50.058+05:30Taking off<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Warning</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> : To all those who read the title and were all excited thinking this is a matter post, please spend some time on debonairblog before you get back to read this informative post.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Air travel has become excessively popular these days. There are perhaps more number of airlines in operation today than the number of backward castes in the country, which give us a lot of choice to confuse ourselves and mess it all up. Taking my valuable time off from Orkut, I am trying to throw some light on all these matters in this blog. Throwing light on matters may sound ironical to some, but all like angelic souls would understand my commitment. So let's take off!<br /><br />Until about 2 years ago, I had no idea as to how it looked inside an aircraft. Although my first travel in an Airbus was in 2002, it did not give any clear picture because it was an SRM college bus, not the one made by Boeing. My first flight was to Bangkok on Thai Airways. Understandably I was keen to look at the airhostess since they were expected to be gumeel figures in international airlines. They were dressed in traditional Thai costume, which consisted of an ulpaavadai, blouse and a kaasi thundu on top. In the dinner they served, only bun and butter were edible, but they were also unlimited, so koocha padaama kaettu mukkinaen :D. And yeah, Thai naatin thaai kulam are not bad :D<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">One thing I understood during my first flight journey itself is that all of them begin on a note of yezhavu. Immediately after you sit and make yourself comfortable, you hear a voice which says, "Here is what you have to do in case of any unfortunate happenings during the journey". As soon as you see the live demo going on, demonstrating the use of life jackets just in case the aircraft were to land on the sea, you feel like telling them a lot of things including "Un vaai-la phenyl oothi kazhuva", "Un vaai-la dharbai-a poattu posukka" and "Un moonji-la en peechangai-a veikka". Then they serve sweets which no one feels like eating after hearing all the yezhavu talk. Imagine that you are going to the beach on your bike and somebody stops you to say "Just in case accident aagi nee mandai-a podara nilamai vandha bayappadaatha, indha number-ku call panna mortuary van varum. And yeah, indha paal paayasam kudichuttu po, idhukku appuram kudikka nee iruppiyo maatiyo".<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I travelled by Indian on my first trip to Mumbai. The name of the aircraft, Indian, was apt - the crew on board consists solely of Indian thathas and paattis. This is actually a smart move by the Indian government to cut costs - since they have to accomodate the crew on board free of cost, they were actually losing out a lot of money. So they decided to recruit only senior citizens - which means they lose less fare. (I am not sure about the authenticity of this, but I am sure our government is capable of such reasoning) Paattis are dressed in saffron to make them look like kollu paattis. The entire flight is lit by a dull light normally used in kattana kazhipparai (pay toilets). They give pretty decent food, but the quantity is so much that they make sure you waste it. Only sincere people like me who treat food wastage as a crime do justice :D<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Air Deccan had to be on my list since Mumbai-Chennai takes 24 hrs by train and I am incapable of ignoring mother nature's calls for such a long duration. Luckily they fly an airbus between Chennai and Mumbai, not the ATR which I've always suspected to use a discarded engine from KPN Travels' busses. The aircraft would have cost a couple of lakhs of rupees, and hence the tag 'low cost airline'. The boarding pass is printed on recycled toilet paper and does not contain any useful detail which you might look for; like say, seat numbers. It's free seating. So if you are a pakki looking for a window seat, like me, or a pattikaadu who pronounces aisle as Isil, you need not be embarassed any more. Just carry a turkey towel and throw it on the nearest seat you want and it is reserved for you. For a better flight, make sure your towel lands just behind the emergency exit coz that's approximately where the air hostess figure would demonstrate the yezhavu awareness lessons. Kodutha kaasukku atleast sight adichuttu pogalaam. Not that the airhostess are pretty and all, the consolation is that they are not double your age. So manasaatchi uruthaama you can sight. The Air Deccan flights have a weird air conditioning system - you see a lot of smoke like in Kailasam behind Lord Siva. This I guess is to make the passengers aware that the AC is switched on. Further, if you have no other velai masuru, you can even bid for something on-board (not the hostess). Importantyly - No food. No sweets. No cotton. No water. The hostesses are actually trained to say a stereotypical "Sorry sir, we do not have it on-board". You might probably get the same reply if you ask for the captain. Kodukkara 1000 rupees-ku vada payasathoda saapada poda mudiyum? Ambuttu dhaan.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Go Air, another low cost airline, is similar to Air Deccan. The hostess and stewards are all dressed in dubai pink/green/blue/orange which if you wear on the road, street dogs would chase you to death. The figures are slightly better on this one, but I cannot comment much since the only time I flew Go Air, I slept through the entire journey, refusing even the free water bottle which they give! (Muzhicha appuram romba feel pannaen oasi item miss pannitaen-nu) The flight landed in Mumbai at 2.30 am and there was this terribly long journey of 20 mins to the airport in the bus! I do not know why we travelled for such a long time, but I was wondering if we were thiruttu thanama entering the airport. Enga Mumbai secoority aapeesar kitta "I am Gaja ka dhosth"-nu solla solluvaangalo-nu nenachaen. But appadi endha asambaavithamum nadakkala.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I have not flown on Jet Airways or Kingfisher. If I tell my dad I've booked my tickets on those he'd say, "Onnum vara thevai illa, angaye kada". Pretty expensive, but I've heard the service and all is excellent. Irukkara 1.5 hrs-ku service enjoy panna thripthi irukkathu in any case, so why waste money! But am determined to fly back by Kingfisher once I get placed! I've seen some samples of air hostesses in the airport and I've concluded that Vijay Mallya is one kalaa rasigan. Bloody bugger. All gummel figures only. I'd keep calling the hostess to ask the time when am on-board. Window seat vaenaam, Isil dhaan bestu :D<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">A few learnings from my kutti experience flying between Chennai and Mumbai.<br />1) Never sit on the emergency exit or in the last row. The guy in front of you would definitely push his seat back and all you can do is abuse him quietly in a language he does not know.<br />2) If you are really despo, do something which you are not supposed to do and the hostess will automatically come to you.<br />3) Do not read the magazine in front of you especially if you are in Air Deccan. It will be filled with recipes and will remind you to be hungry, and on the next page you see that water costs 10 rupees.<br /><br />Ippo ellam I am and all only the flight flying. Helps me stay in Chennai as long as possible and I can't even think of wasting the time in a train journey. Back in Mumbai after a 17 day stay in Chennai and already planning the next visit! Seekiram padichu mudichu kalyanatha pannikkanum :D<br /><br />Last blog panna date paatha July 25th. Almost 100 days aachu bledy! Not that I was extremely busy and all, just that I did not know what was happening around to make fun of. So oru starting point-a irukkattum wrote some crap now. Saw Dharmapuri while in Chennai, thalaivar kalakittaru! :D Many good souls mailed/scrapped/smsed me asking me to blog. Very happy-a poodchu. Thanks to all of you. Adjust with this blog for the time being :)<br /><br />Here is wishing Vidya a happy married life! She's a good friend I earned through blogs. Vidya, un kalyaana saapadu was super di! I doubt if she'd still be reading my blogs after marriage, but still :D<br /><br />I guess I have polambified enough about what all has been happening. Nextu meet pannaraen :)<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-1152424208461694062006-07-09T11:19:00.000+05:302011-12-28T00:25:50.054+05:30I've begun quizzing<div style="text-align: justify;">Things in a B-School are so different. People here are kinda intellectual and do wanna lotsa stuff other than academics. They conduct e-mail quizzes and have all quizzer of the month fundas which they believe will improve their general knowledge. But enakku general-a knowledge-ey kadayaathu! Still, I decided to attend one of these quizzes since googling was permitted <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" /> But since, even googling was not of much help, this is what happened . . .<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Name the 1st ISI certified product.</span><br />Bihar Telephones, certified by Institute of Statewide Ignorance as early as the birth year of Lalu.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sania Mirza and Sunil Gavaskar were signed up as brand ambassadors by which company? </span><br />Sania for Pepsi, Yeh Dil Maange More.<br />Gavaskar, I don care!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">In "TIPS Cassettes Industries", what does TIPS stand for? </span><br />Maybe the chairman’s initials. But then which chairman wud have initials that when read the other way reads SPIT? Whatever! Pass!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Name the biscuit brand which has the highest sales in the world.</span><br />Tiger biscuits (before Ganguly endorsed)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Name the 94 year old product created by Hakim Hafiz Abdul Majeed which translates into English as 'Soul Enlightenment".</span><br />One of them may be Lalu Prasad Yadav, which literally translates into “Sole Entertainment”. Not sure about the other.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">A soap's name which reads the same backward as well?</span><br />Seriously, Liril. *claps*<br />The product had been positioned so well that it still remains etched in my mind. By product, I obviously mean the girl who came in it and not the soap.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Which is the largest traded e-commerce site in India?</span><br />www.indiagov.org<br />That’s the biggest trade thing in the world! That explains the .org extension instead of a customary .gov<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Name the bank endorsed by Hema Malini. (a sitter)</span><br />State Bank of India. If not, this is not a sitter!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">A mega hit advertisement, 1st of its kind, created by Mudra`s high post guy who got the idea while watching a cricket match. Name the Ad.</span><br />The DHL Jumbo ad which said however big it is, we carry it or something like that. The idea might have occured during the 2003 World Cup Extra Innings 'show'.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Name the production companies floated by Shahrukh Khan.</span><br />The latest float was by the man himself, in a bath tub with rose petals. Shux...I mean, Lux!<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Cheers! <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/1.gif" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Note 1 </span>: This educative and informative post is dedicated to <a target="_blank" href="http://magixncurses.blogspot.com">this pullankuzhal illa krishnan</a> and <a target="_blank" href="http://mortalvisions.blogspot.com">and this playboy</a> and <a target="_blank" href="http://shekys.blogspot.com">this silent romeo</a> for all getting placed in Infy. Congrats!! Continue working for CAT!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Note 2</span> : Girls are requested not to attend Infy interviews henceforth in their own interest.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">P.S.</span> : Inga me the speak orey the inglipis and hindi <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/2.gif" />. So en thamizh veena pogaama irukka naan nextu blog-u tanglish-la ezhuthalamnu irukkaen. Maramando-3 poatta yaaravathu padipeengala illa puthu movie-a launch pannanuma? <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" /> </div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-1150662437917750742006-06-20T23:30:00.000+05:302011-12-28T00:25:50.050+05:30Away From Home<div style="text-align: justify;">Being away from home is one of the most bugging things in life, barring the case of honeymoon ofcourse. It gives you so many things to take care of; responsibilities you'd be proud if your child had, but really not interested in having them yourself. It is said that it transforms a boy into a man. But for people like me, who've already been through this transformation and all geared up even for a honeymoon, it doesn't really matter <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" /><br /><br />Language is a small barrier, not because I do not know Hindi. I infact know Hindi very well, the only problem being that the people here do not know the Hindi that I know! <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" /> I know numbers from <span style="font-style: italic;">Ek to Therah </span>(thanks to the song from Tehzab), then I know <span style="font-style: italic;">Bhaiyya</span>, then I know the all important <span style="font-style: italic;">Thoda Thoda Maalum </span>and <span style="font-style: italic;">Mujhe Hindi Nahi Maalum </span>which I use based on the Hindi proficiency of the person I am talkin to, and I also know a bunch of expletives which play a vital role while interacting with my friends here. Honestly, I can understand Hindi very well provided it is spoken at the speed of Ooty toy train. Whether I learn to speak Hindi fluently or not I've started teaching them Tamil! They find Tamil funny. Chumma means kiss-aam. Idhula avungalukku enna avalo sandhoshamo therila. Namma oorla kooda dhaan Hotha (H silent)-ku vaera meaning. Idhellam jagajam dhaaney?!<br /><br />Bachelors hostel rooms are generally pathetic, giving the picture of a slum dwelling (minus the colour TV if you were thinking of a slum area from Tamil Nadu). But here, they are super well maintained. Though the bathrooms are common, we generally do not face a problem since Arjun Singh has not yet introduced reservations in this segment. If that happens, I'll have to keep one leg outside while taking bath I believe. And then one washing machine per floor, which 25 of us use till the coil burns <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" /><br /><br />It is supposed to be rainy season here in Mumbai. It was infact raining heavily when I landed here (nallavanga irukkara edathula ellam mazhai peyyumaam, so no wonder) and continued to do so for a week, after which the meteorological department played spolisport. They predicted extremely heavy rainfall here from the 6th of June. The rains stopped on the night of 5th June. Since then, the sun has been shining brightly as if the heads of thousands of Deve Gowdas are being used as reflectors here. I strongly recommend the Government to stop investing the money in Met Dept and instead start a matchmaking (not sivakasi theepetti match) forum which would be a lot more profitable. Or it can even be used for other useful purposes like teaching Arjun Singh simple mathematics - percentages in particular. I mean, the forecasting is so bad that it stops raining even during monsoon! Namma sattelites ellam what doing? Seriya dhaan irukka? Or Baakistan Deeviravathigal hack pannitaangala?? I am going to try scribbling INSAT 1A, INSAT 1B etc on Saneeswaran kovil sevuru to help them function properly. Edho nammaala mudinjathu.<br /><br />Food here is terribly monotnous! <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/2.gif" /> Though we get chapathi with different side dishes everyday, for rice its always one pichakaara dhaal! For morning breakfast I have a technologically advanced Idly which reverses the irreversible process of steaming and becomes dough again. Colour plays a vital role in helping me distinguish between Sambhar and Payasam. The left over Sambhar can be used as Manja Thanni for aththai ponnus to pour on mama payyans, without requiring any dilution. Diabetic patients are generally requested to avoid eating Dosa in Andheri area. Even milagu appalam tastes like our ulunthu appalam! I guess chilli powders are used only on the eve teasers here. My tonugue thus has RIP embossed on it, and I have resorted to the only possible alternative of asking mom to send parppu podi <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" /><br /><br />Girls are one of the main reasons people do not wish to leave Mumbai! <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" /> Being from down south, I was under the impression that girls always prefer to wear churidhaars. But there seems to be a blanket ban on such costumes in Mumbai. So far I have seen girls only in T-Shirts, that too ones which are a couple of sizes smaller! Also, "sleeveless" here means "nearly topless" for most, which is nothing but our Sudermani banian in Tamilnadu. Theatres like Jothi and Pilot are thus of no necessity here. Since we have a B-School, Engineering College, Arts College and School in the same campus, I get to see people from all age groups and all walks of life <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" />. Edho naan nallavana irukkarthaala naan undu en velai undu-nu irukkaen....!<br /><br />One thing which I miss majorly is being out of touch with whats happening around!! Reading news online is kinda irritating but I gotta get used to it I guess <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/2.gif" /> Inga TV nahi. TV-ey irundhaalum Gabtun movies arumai eppadi puriya veppaen ivangalukkellam?! Those of you who are still around checking this blogspace, HELP!! How do you guys stay up to date with clowns like Arjun Singh and periya thalais like Gabtun? This info me definitely need to continue blogging <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/1.gif" /><br /><br />Anyways amidst all these matters I do get time to study. Four years aachu padichu! I am infact known to be studious here, always in my room with my laptop it seems! Test vecha how much u getting-nu enna paathu ppl asking!! Periya insult!! In my four years of college life nobody has dared to ask me the portions even! <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">***<br /></div><br />Those in Chennai, I hereby invite you people to <a target="_blank" href="http://ramanujamp.blogspot.com/">THIS</a> bloggers meet on 24th June, which I will obviously not be attending <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" />. Somebody go and eat something on my behalf and pay for it without fail! From my past experiences at bloggers meet, I advise you guys to carry some cotton with you to stuff them in your eyes coz <a target="_blank" href="http://thedreamydryad.blogspot.com">Sandhya</a> is expected to grace the occasion. Ava flight maadhiri. Take off-aana kaathu gaali. So you shall the take care. I don want people complaining here tommorow and suing me in case of ear bleeding <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">***<br /></div><br />One important matter. I am the Praveen B.E. officially! Arrear vekkama 4 years. Aatha I am the pass!! <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Note</span> : Before I officially put up a <span style="font-weight: bold;">"I am back"</span> board out here, I need some vetti websites. Till then ippadi mokkai blog-a poattu bore adippaen <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com46tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-1149045110111875312006-05-31T08:00:00.000+05:302011-12-28T00:25:50.044+05:30Me the escape!<div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/320/Picture%20032.jpg" /><br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">In the airport.<br /><br />Pic taken using Integrated Webcam of Lenovo 3000 N100.<br /><br />Blogged using wi-fi.<br /><br />Vetti scene.<br /><br />Its all in the game.<br /><br />Tata Chennai. See you in Mumbai :)</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-1147116193641203472006-05-09T21:30:00.000+05:302011-12-24T10:45:05.868+05:30Me into Politics<div align="justify">The number of political parties in India is simply phenomenal. New parties crop up every year which, even in a country where citizens do their night duty perfectly irrespective of whether they pay heed to other duties, easily outnumber the number of birthday parties. Karthik recently joined the list of actor turned comedians like Pandiarajan, Bagyaraj etc, when he announced his affiliation to All India Forward Block, which planned to contest in a mammoth 2 out of 232 seats all over Tamil Nadu. The party later withdrew from both the seats since the party members unanimously decided that the deposit money could be used to buy tea instead. Inspired by Karthik, I have decided to float my own party which will contest in the next elections.<br /><br />The first task was to decide the name of the party. Since the party has its base in Tamil Nadu, I decided that it must incorporate Dravidian principle for it to even stand a chance. Dravida Munnetra Kazhakam, Anna Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam, Marumalarchi Dravida Munnetra Kazhakam and Desiya Murpoku Dravida Kazhakam were already taken. Even <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whpigU66BFA&search=tamil%20songs" target="_blank">Karadi Kutti TR</a> has a Latchiya Dravida Munnetra Kazhakam, the only possible latchiyam of whose members is to find out what lies inside TR's beard. So, with almost all the Dravidian names taken, I am going with the only name spared. My katchi will be called Rahul Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam (RDMK)....<br /><br />Being farsighted, I decided to release a ten point maifesto right away. They have been formulated with the sole aim of getting the poor people support. The rest can go to hell.<br /><br />1) Free computer with matter CDs to all students who fail to make it past second standard. Provision of matter CDs makes this scheme a part of the "Suya Udhavi Kuzhu" thittam since they wouldn have anything better to do. So we keep you occupied.<br /><br />2) Free cycle for all people who are below poverty line with one year International on-site warranty on the cycle chain. International warranty will be useful if your cycle faces technical problems on your way to Afghanistan (which we assume you wouldn be stupid enough to do). Note : Warranty void if your name is Cheran.<br /><br />3) Free plasma colour TV for villagers, after they manage to a) build a house b)get electricty for it c)sustain electricty connection by paying the bill for one year. If not, doesn't really matter, I'll be campaigning for the next election by then, when I'll promise free house for all citizens.<br /><br />4) Free 10 acres land for the poor landless farmer, for which you need to convince us that you really are poor and landless. (Fineprint, don't read : The cost of convincing us would be decided based on land prices at that time. And yeah lotsa conditions apply)<br /><br />5) Free LG Microwave Oven and Jaadhika Badrinath's "Samachu podu di kasmaalam" recipe book for all poor housewives who manage to pronounce Microwave Oven without any mistake. If you have problems doing that, you get one month supply of LG Perungayam instead. Same brand, fair enough?<br /><br />6) Free 10Kg Ponni Rice to all families below poverty line, provided Ms. Ponni agrees to part with her rice. If not, we are sorry, our government is committed to providing quality goods and hence we cannot give you low quality ration rice.<br /><br />7) Free mobile phones for the poor under the "One Kuppam" scheme. Since people in the area speak at aaproximately 120 decibels, it involves the use of cutting edge technology to dampen these voice signals by pouring water from the top, to make sure the entire kuppam does not overhear you.<br /><br />8) Free ceiling fan to all those who live in huts. Our team is already trying to figure out how this could be done. Once that is done, every family gets a free ceiling fan provided they have facilities to fix a switch board on the wall.<br /><br />9) Free washing machine will be given to all poor families that have the habit of washing their clothes. This scheme will be implemented after approval from the Prime Minister, Finance Minister, Home Minister and the Chief Ministers of all states, just to make sure that the scheme is not implemented in 5 years. We take complete responsibility in blaming one of the above mentioned persons for the delay in implementation.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">10) Add to the greenery of the state with the "Pothar valarpom, pin matter seivom" scheme.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">I promise that I shall be committed and work towards the fulfilment of the above objectives. Seeya in five years time! :-)</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com54tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-1145900610004687262006-04-24T11:00:00.000+05:302011-12-24T10:47:45.324+05:30Arjun Singh : Exclusive Interview<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Suggestion</span> : If you are seriously looking to know what Arjun Singh said, I suggest you watch the Mr. Bean show. The consequences are similar.<br /><br />One of the greatest reforms introduced in independent India was announced this month, by our beloved minister Arjun Singh. It is the best thing to happen to India since the MoU signed between the Indian Government and MNC Kaekraan Maekraan for the "non-yellowy" maintenance of public toilets. 22.5% of the seats were reserved during the formation of the Indian republic, because it represented the percentage of people who belonged to the backward sections of the society. Now, applying the same logic, or the lack of it, Arjun Singh calculates the percentage to be 49.5% and confirms it saying that the highly reliable figure has been calculated using Casio calculators. In this Pravunplugged exclusive, Arjun Singh shares his pearls of wisdom, gokulam and champak with us.<br /><br /><a href="http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2006/04/arjun-singh-exclusive-interview.html">Read Interview . . .</a><br /><br /><span class="fullpost"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Note</span> : The name Arjun Singh has been abbreviated and represented as AS in the following interview. Please do not conclude that I am mocking at the minister by reading AS as a single word. I have no necessity to do so since we all know how AS himself manages to add an extra S behind his abbreviation.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Interviewer</span> : Hello sir, how do you do?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Arjun Singh </span>: Hello. Do not ask personal questions. You should have paid better attention to your biology class in 9th standard to know how you do.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I </span>: I meant how are u, sir.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : Oh like that-eh? Me, I am very old, fat, bald and fair. You?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : I am fine sir.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : So, what are we here for?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : (Hmmm..Un mandai-la kuttarthukku!) An interview sir, can we start?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : Yes, ofcourse.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : What is your opinion about reservations?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : They are very good. They give you confidence that you have seat for sure.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : ??!?!?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : Yes, we should more reservations and reduce the number of RACs and Waiting Lists.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : Sir, I am talking about reservations in educational institutions, not railway reservations.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : Ha Ha! What a fool I am!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : Sahi jawaab.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : Eh??<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : Pardon me, so what's you opinion sir?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : They very important for country like India.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I </span>: Why so?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS </span>: Areey. I pity the ignorance of youngster like you. Because India obviously fall under the category of country like India, if not fully, atleast partially.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : I mean why is it important for countries like India?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : Because population different. One section front, other section rear. Front section going fronter and rear section going rearer.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : You have studied your 9th standard biology perfectly, sir!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : Ha Ha! I always bright student.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : Ofcourse you are very bright sir, especially when the sun is shining and the reflector on your head is well oiled!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : That's why I thought 49.5% reservation can be brought about. So that rear can also come front and both will be front.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : Do you plan to increase the percentage further, sir?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : Yes. Presently there are SC/ST/OBC category. In future I bring in AFOBC and YIABC category and there will be 100% reservation.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I </span>: AFOBC and YIABC??<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : A Few Other Backward Classes and Yayy I Also Backward Class category.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : With 100% reservation, what about General Category?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : This is master plan boy, you no understand. With this scheme, there no general category. Everybody in backward category somehow and we can have equality. So the front also go to rear and from there equal competition between both the rears to go to front.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : But what about the country's economy?? Will that not be affected without progress?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : That Chidambaram ji handle. If he can unable to, then I temporarily include RAC and Waiting List in educational institoosan, so that if reserved seat not taken by rear, the front can take the rear seat.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : Waiting list is ok, how RAC??<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : RAC students given seat and education, but no degree.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : Great! Do you think reservation will affect the quality of students in premier institutions?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS </span>: No No. Everybody will be as brilliant as me.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I </span>: So that's precisely what I am talking about.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : You no realize that this a long term solution for inequality. You wait and see, time will tell.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : (It's already saying you are stupid!) Don't you think its better to have a equal basis for selection and instead provide those deprived with a proper study environment etc?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : No. That not possible since environmentalists oppose change in environment. Menaka Gandhi risky lady. Sonia fire me.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : (Damn!) Ok, so are you going to extend the reservation concept in other spheres?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : Yes, yes. Very much. There will be cricket reservation, football/hockey reservation etc.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I </span>: Ah!! What's the cricket?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : 50% of the players in team must belong to SC/ST/OBC<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I </span>: A team has 11 players, so how 50%??<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : Oh, that i din think. Anyway I give spontaneous solution. 5 people from FC, 5 from BCs and one person is child of intercastly married parents.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : Brilliant! Anything else in cricket?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : During powerplay, only 1 FC allowed to stay inside circle, rest all BCs. That way all BCs move front.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : !! What about football?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : It very racist game, needs many changes.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I </span>: Racist game??<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : Yes. Attacking position called Forward. From now on we have Center OBC, Right Center SC and Left Center ST. There no backward position. Everybody stand near goal for equality.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I </span>: Aiyyo! Anywhere else?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS </span>: Yes, public toilet also reserved.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : ???<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : 50% of toilet for SC/ST/OBC only. All FC while going toilet stand only on one leg. The other position for keeping leg reserved for rear class.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : I think it is time to end the interview.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS </span>: No, wait. Escalator reservation policy you no hear?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : Ok, go on.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : Front people not allowed on escalator. Only rear. So rear will go front faster than the front. All my idea.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : Ofcourse! What is your answer to your crictics who say all this is vote bank politics?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : Definitely not. False charges.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I </span>: How say? ... shit .. I mean how do you say that?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS </span>: In India there is Indian Bank, State Bank, Canara Bank, Reserve Bank, but no bank called vote bank. If they want to prove charges, ask them to show pass book.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : That's it. Thanks a ton for your time Mr. Arj....<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AS</span> : Thanks is reserved word for rear. Front no say that, ok?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> : ...un Singh. Good night!<br /><br />Huh. Such government policies make it seem a lot better if the parliament is adjourned sine die! Mandaikku maela masurum illa, mandaikulla moolaiyum illa. Orey kushtamappa!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Disclaimer</span> : All names and designations are as usual fictional. Any resemblences to a real life character is purely because of the matching stupidity levels <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">****</div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">This post is dedicated to <a target="_blank" href="http://lalitalarking.blogspot.com/">this lady</a>, for threatening me to post soon or have my fan status withdrawn on <a target="_blank" href="http://www.orkut.com/Profile.aspx?uid=17620822914672856425">Orkut</a> <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" /></div><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com54tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-1143835482300983242006-04-01T01:00:00.000+05:302011-12-28T00:15:36.483+05:30Awards, pudhusu kanna pudhusu!<div style="text-align: justify;">With elections around the corner, MUMMY is taking full fledged action to please the people, section by section, strategically. Last month, the list of Kalaimamani awardees were announced, which featured everybody including Kalai's uncle, who was given a numerologically modified "Kalai Mama Nee" award. As the next step, relaible sources of pravunplugged confirm that MUMMY would be naming awards after prominent people for their contribution to the country. This exclusive report elaborates on the details.<br /><br />Henceforth, the best actor would be given the <a target="_blank" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/1600/BushStatue.jpg">'Statue of Bulty'</a> award to celebrate the historic nuclear deal which provided all the nuclear fuel that India needed to accomplish tasks which are no more harmful than aani pudungifying. [Pravunplugged comments : Honestly, we don't require nuclear fuel as long we have Aalo Parathas, but it is upto the government to realise.]<br /><br />The best actress each year would get the <a target="_blank" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/1600/SoniaStatue.jpg">'Urgent Bathroom, Hence I Resign Gandhi'</a> award since it is widely appreciated to name stuff after members of the Gandhi family. [<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pravunplugged comments</span> : Matter movie actresses viz. Bollywood heroines and people who hold similar offices of profit must be exempt from the category]<br /><br /><a target="_blank" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/1600/ManmohanStatue.jpg">'Arey Haan Ji'</a> award would be given to the best Music Director, who would be selected on the basis of their originality. This highly controversial stipulation rules out the Anu Malik and Deva families for their next seven generations. [<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pravunplugged comments</span> : Harris Jeyaraj must be given special consideration for his inclination towards the language of the Australian aboriginal's, who incidentally speak no known language and are infact non-existent in the first place]<br /><br />Next on line is the <a target="_blank" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/1600/CaptainStatue.jpg">'Karumai Nira Kannan'</a> award which honours the person with the most romantic expression in films which may include the rolling of the tongue and a romantic bite of one's own karugi pona lips, a naughty pinch on the hips, bambaram spinning etc. [<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pravunplugged comments </span>: Black Cat secoority must be provided to the affected heroine since the after effects can be deadly]<br /><br />The best newcomer receives the <a target="_blank" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/1600/PrashanthStatue.jpg">'Kokkara Kozhi Raasathi'</a> award, which is a special category applicable to both the male and female gender. The award is to honour Top Star Prashanth, who has acted in 17 films in the last one year alone, fortunately none of which have been released. [<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pravunplugged comments</span> : Prashanth must stop acti..err...doing films]<br /><br />The next award, the <a target="_blank" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/1600/SaniaStatue.jpg">'Sokkai Podaatha Swapna Sundari'</a> award, is to encourage youngsters, who may have may not have talent but possess a lotsa other things which are vital in nature, to come up and show the world what they have got. [<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pravunplugged comments</span>: I volunteer myself to be the umpire at the next WTA tour, without salary and other perks]<br /><br />To instill team spirit into the youngsters, MUMMY is also giving away a special <a target="_blank" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/1600/NamithaStatue.jpg">'Namma Ooru Paanjaali'</a> award, which highlights the values of working together inspite of age barriers, ego clashes, salary issues and two extremely ugly faces. [<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pravunplugged comments</span> : Indha kodumai-ku Namitha nadicha matter padamey thevala]<br /><br />The <a target="_blank" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/1600/AbhiStatue.jpg">'Kolangal Loosu Abi'</a> award is for those people who possess a strong belief that a pinju pona Pondy Bazar handbag always holds enough money to help those in need, in short, it is for the mentally challenged. [<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pravunplugged comments</span> : A strong contender for this award is Saritha, who boldy and stupidly, agreed to wear TShirts in June R]<br /><br />The last, but the most prestigious award is to kindle the scientific brains to come up with answers for baffling questions like - 'TR moonjila mudi molachu irukka, illa TR mudi-ku nadoola moonji molachu irukka' and 'How Simbhu missed the evolutionary process'. It will be known as the <a target="_blank" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/1600/TRStatue.jpg">'Karadu Kutti Veerasamy'</a> award. [<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pravunplugged comments</span> : <a target="_blank" href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=o4t87odQvxY&search=TR">No</a> <a target="_blank" href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=myo5Q_GFuZw&search=tamil%2Bmovies">comments</a>!]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Disclaimer</span> : If you really did believe all this crap, well, Happy Birthday! <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/1.gif" /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com60tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9801307.post-1143057493272973992006-03-23T02:00:00.000+05:302011-12-24T10:48:31.529+05:30*Shock*<div style="text-align: center;"><a target="_blank" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/1600/hits.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7930/728/320/hits.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/13.gif" /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Before somebody asks, NO, I have neither had a sex change operation nor do I plan to have one! <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/33.gif" /><br /><br />Before the rest ask, NO treats shall be entertained! <img src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif" /><br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04809424485381818730noreply@blogger.com53