HEAT

If the Tsunami had happened in this time of the year, it would have simply evaporated on its way. The sweltering Chennai heat is back. I would have melted by now if I were something which exhibits metallic properties, Laloo's skull for instance. Unfortunately, I am human and I have no choice but to witness the roads glisten under the scorching sun, wondering what would happen if somebody fell on their bums on melting tar.

You only have two choices. One, stay at home and prevent further damage to your brain. Two, step outside and turn into a roasted duck like in one of those Tom and Jerry cartoons or the Aduppula Venda Saami in Indian. If you choose the latter, it means you are either a buffalo or a Romeo waiting for your Juliet at a hot-spot like a beach, which buffloes normally stay away from to avoid sunburns. It is thus advisable to stay at home.

Ramar mattum vanavaasathukku Chennai area-la engayavathu poi irundha, Bharatan seruppu kaettathukku adhalaye piyya piyya adichirupparu! Seruppu illama nadantha half boil dhaan!

The Chennai Corporation had decided long back that trees hamper the free flow of traffic in the city and chopped down anything on the way as part of the "Singara Chennai" project. The few trees which had escaped the eye of the "town-planners" were uprooted in last weeks gale. Mottai adichaachu, sandhanam thelikkarthu dhaan baakki. So finding shade is not as easy as getting Ganguly out in the slips. Though parks have a lot of shrubs to aid the clandestine meeting of the lovers (read Chennai Erumais), they do have trees to maintain the greenery of the landscape. However, relaxing on a park bench is not such a good idea. Unless you are wearing a dozen jeans pants, heat boils are sure to surface, after which you will be able to sit undisturbed only on a Western toilet.

Speaking of toilets..going to loo is irritating. A couple of more degrees (temperature!) and there is a very good chance of the urine evaporating before it reaches the toilet bowl. Bloody madras veyyil! Ennavo Swiss Alps maelanthu valanthavan maadhiri pesaraen ninaikkatheenga, avan avanukku vandha dhaan theriyum vedhanai. :-)

Everybody takes bath twice a day. Once in the morning in chlorinated corporation water which is believed to affect the complexion of vayasu girls according to their mothers. Appadiye idhukku munnadi Kushboo colour-la irundha maadhiri oru effect kodupaanga paarkanumae! And once in sweat. People who skip the former smell like public toilets minus the phenyl, which is ofcourse very bad and intolderable. So it is better to follow certain disciplines instead of being chased out of your colony.

Air conditioners are no longer a luxury. If you don't have an AC at home, atleast get to a shopping complex nearby which has one. A girls shopping area is obviously a very good choice. But make sure it is not in the 1km radius from Pondy Bazar. You may be happy there but you are also assured death. Money back guarantee!

One thing encouraging about summer is that girls like to wear smaller clothes. This has both economic benifits and entertainment values. From an economic point of view, this helps conserving our limited resources. Gandhiji, with his charkha, would have weaved pieces of cloth twice as fast. People often remark that only dhothis would suit our climate and we are only aping the western culture by changing to pants. I, speaking for the girls, feel that two piece suit our climate much better than the 6 yard sarees. What are they? Mummies? (the Egyptian mummy I mean!) Go gals go! You rock! Hmm..yeah, if you are a boy and have still not understood the entertainment aspects, then in all probability, you are not a boy.

It is a pity that I have got used to wearing jeans pants. Not just me, most guys. Rain or shine, we wear the same old torn jean :-(, without washing :-D

Juicy fruits are in great demand. Watermelons and tender coconuts especially. I somehow don't like watermelons. Haven't tasted it. But looking at people eat it with the juice dripping from their mouth, gives me a feeling that I'll look like a pakki if I eat one. Am not a fan of tender coconuts either. I like it, but I don't relish it. A few of years back there was a rumour that you would get AIDS if you drink tender coconut water! Pannara matter ellam pannitu yaenda elaneer maela pazhiya podareenga? I prefer cool drinks and icecreams anyday. But with this bloody cold I am having, only hot water tastes good! :-(

Kids are given vacations to enjoy i.e. get the hell out of this place and go to some hilly region. Atleast Parangi Malai. Whoever started the concept of Summer Coaching Camps, I am sure has been cursed enough by kids to have died by now. Parents find it really attractive to put their kids in some training camp to develop some extra-curricular activities, but all kids develop is a tan. Idhellam pannitu appuram en pullai Aravind Swamy colour-la irundhaan-nu solli enna use? Ammavasai maadhiri dhaan irupaan!

College schedule sucks. Writing 3 hours of junk is not appreciated even if the exam hall is completely air conditioned. It is a pain in the neck to give your exams in this stupid heat. Pity me!

Am waiting for the weekend. Sun TV is playing Captain's Rajjiyam as part of their "Vidumurai Kondattam" series. My only hope to chill out!

Ofcourse I love Chennai, but veyyil thaangala da saami!!