No Kya?

That's the verdict spelt out by Anna University, a big no to mobile phones being used inside the campus of all its affiliated colleges. In addition, a formal dress code is also being stressed. Next on line might be an emphasis on students wearing Sudarmani undergarments alone inside the campus to have a sense of uniformity.

Mobile phones have made everything quicker. You could be talking on your phone and at the same time cook, taste your food, find it bad, thow it and order for pizzas instead. You could practically do anything walking around in circles except probably take a leak. Such things have made the use of mobiles indispensable, particularly so in college life. Having a bulge in the pants has become a status symbol for guys. Ofcourse, as you rightly thought, I was referring to mobile phones being thrusted into tight fitting jean pockets. Guys and gals have had to put on huge dramas at home in front of their parents convincing them that mobile phones are highly useful in case of emergencies to get hold of a Nokia 3315, which is more a sengal than a cell. It's thus a cherished possession. Gals take especially good care of their cell phones. They keep it in a fancy jigina cell phone pouch, place it in the second zip of their handbag which inturn goes into the front compartment of their bags. So by the time they pick up the emergency phone call, the emergency itself would be history. If mom calls up her gal to tell her dad is ill, dad would be hale and healthy by the time the girl picks up her mobile. But nonetheless, as students we oppose the rules imposed and thus do not welcome this move by the university.

Mobile phones are accused of distracting the students during class hours. After having had 14 odd years of schooling, the only person who would be attentive in class is the guy in the last bench who has turned his face away from the board to face the girls of his class. That's the only task carried out with full concentration. So if mobile phones are going to distract them isn't it good for the women community? Why such considerations have been taken of the picture remains hazy. The officials probably did not have anybody to ogle in their class I believe. They might have studied in Andipatti or Arasampatti but ithu singaara Chennai and figures sighting in our birth right!

Students don't listen to the lecture and keep messaging their friends is another charge against the usage of mobile phones. Lecture is derived from the Latin word 'lacktia' which means "causing sleep". A lecturer, according to Oxford's latest release is "a person who has the bad habit of talking while the others are sleeping". Such etymological evidence suggests undeniably that students don't, and are not supposed to listen to lectures failing which they might be asked to hang themselves with arana kayiru. So, here again, mobile phones make the students more active in class and encourages them to involve in worldly talk with their friends to gain infos about the Shakeela movie being played that weekend and advising him that Blue Lagoon on AXN would be a better choice, thereby establishing a medium for students from different colleges to share their knowledge.

"The productivity of a student is lost since he/she wastes time in class", said a press release by the university. This just shows the ignorance of the university officials. It is highly difficult for a guy to put kadalai from his house with his girlfriend(s) due to external disturbances viz. father and mother who insist that the same guy who studied three consecutive years in LKG, study and get the gold medal in college. Thus fulfilling such an important task can be done during class hours only. According to Euler's theorem, the probability of getting a girl friend increases exponentially with the number of figures the guy knows. So whatever talk goes on is only in the best interest of the guys future - for him to settle in life with a good gujili. Losing productivty is a lot better than losing reproductivity, right?!

Camera phones are being viewed sacrilegiously especially after the DPS MMS case. We, as mature engineering students, solemnly urge that we shall not video tape our matter experiences, if any, for it not only spoils the image of the girl, but also nullifies the chances of us staying with our parents. What those kids did was a big mistake. We have learnt from it. We shall keep matter moments within the four walls. We will just keep it for party photographing - clicking a girl when she is dancing nicely in a non-existant dress!

Finally, the formal dress code also seems out of place. The dress one wears is definitely not going to reflect his mental capabilities. Formals poataalum seri, jeans poataalum seri, illa Archimedes style-la thirinjaalum seri, loosu loosa dhaan irukkum. Technical people should be formally dressed nu endha madayan sonnathu? This decision is believed to affect the girls a lot more than the guys since they have given up the habit of wearing dresses long long ago. They were thinking about body painting when this announcement came as a shock.

All these decisions just adds an extra page to the rulebook that's being torn day in and day out by the students. Oru rule poattu, adhu break aaratha paakarthula appadi what sandhosham? Loosa avanga? Please discuss! :-D

UNZIP

Foreign universities are really dumb. I say dumb because their admission procedure doesn't suit me one bit. To get an admit, I should have performed really well in my academics, like topped the class, which is striked off directly since I have a XY chromosome pairing. One is also expected to possess indispensable skills : archery skills good enough to atleast poke the bull's butt if not the eye, adept artistic skills good enough to scribble a modern art which only 2 other people in this world understand, singing good enough to kill the cockroach in your bathroom, to name a few. Research papers also give you an edge . . . but my edge seems really blunt coz I haven't even skimmed through the research sections in newspapers. In short, they look out for a well rounded individual, which I am definintely not unless taken in the literal sense! :-)

Getting back on track...If I've got all these stuff in me, why the hell would I apply to their university? Dumb, right? All these inane criteria inspired me to join the editorial board for my department magazine. I was unanimously selected into the team by all my close friends

For all those who are thinking why such an informative blog has such an ahem title, that's the bloody title for my department magazine! UNZIP!! The name sounds kinda cool, yeah. But guessing how my name was going to published in the magazine did not give me much happiness.

UNZIP

Credits : K. Praveen

You expect me to smile with this picture in my mind?!! Cha...first time magazine-la vara paeru innum konjam decent-a irundha sandhosha pattu iruppaen! Things did not stop here though. The consequences of having such a name were evident later.

The inaugural function for UNZIP was fun as expected. One of the reasons being that girls come in sarees . Guys generally like to see girls in sarees coz we have this strong traditional backing. I assure you that there is no other reason for this ;-)

The function was compered by a girl from my class. "The Chief Guest will begin the proceedings by lighting the kuththuvelakku", she announced on stage.

Friend : It's too weird da.
Me : What?
Friend : Saying Chief Guest will light the Kuththu Velakku. Isn't it odd?
Me : Yeah it is, but what do u expect her to say?
Friend : Isn't there an english word for kuththuvelakku?
Me : Yeah, there is.
Friend : What is it?
Me : Punch Lamp :-)

We then went on to discuss about the girls worth watching in sarees since there was nothing better we could think off. This was when our attention was diverted towards the chief guest. He was talking about the magazine and went on to say the following . . .

"I see you have named your magazine Unzip which is really innovative. I really appreciate it since there is something hidden within everybody, something that is not seen outside. Such things need to be unzipped and let out to realize its full potential"

I was ROTFL! Me thinks the magazine name needs a change first! What say? :-)

Funny way to remember

Computer Networks...bloody huge subject. Helps to have shortcuts to remember stuff.

OSI Reference model has 7 layers - Application, Presentation, Session, Transport, Network, Data and Physical.

My friend, this guy, devised an easy way to remember it, bless him.

APpa Sonnaru Thatha Naethi Damalnu Poitaaru

:-)

Good Boy Me!

Saraswathi namasthubhyam, varadhey kaama roopini
Vidyarambham karishyaami, sidhir bavathumaesatha

My last blog was about Mallika Sherawat and Liz Hurley and I got a standard message in the comment box - "Go study!" What to say, I was flattered..ivalo akkarai-a en maela :-D

Another accusation - my blogs are getting adult oriented. I assure you...you can read this problem with your children**!

So, this being exam time, is this blog appropriate? Saraswathi thalai-la ice katti vechirukkaen paarunga? Ok-va? :-)

Besides, this blog just emphasises my goody goodness. If you have the eye for it, you'll see a halo above my head. For those who have the disability to spot it, atleast look here --> Questions like "rendu rekkai irukkae angel-ku, does it mean you are a parakkavetti?" are strictly prohibited on my blog!

Just to make this post a useful one, I'll say this stuff : That my first exam was good. Damn lengthy paper. But attempted 90 marks and din make any mistakes. So good enough? :-)

So adutha exams varai kutti vetti blogs seithu vidai peruvathu....nalla pullai Praveen :-)

**Conditions apply. If your children understand what I write, you may have to think again before calling them children. They are not children, but kaedis! So the author is not responsible for kaedis!

P.S. : Please click on the image to observe the nuances! :-)

Exam Time!!

My semester exams begin on the 29th of this month. Yeah, next week :-(

I guess you people wouldn't mind if I use this space for some revision work. Gotta see if I've got all of what I've studied in the past three years right! Nothing too complicated though, just the basics, so you may read on :-)

Semester : 3-4 months of vacation in a remote location called college.

Engineering College : A place of entertainment which must definitely not lie within the 100km radius of a city.

College Library : A huge space which has books, a librarian and a couple of flies.

College Canteen : A store-house of food items which may cause Jaundice or Typhoid depending on your luck.

Figure : Any girl who wears high heels, uses powder like pesticide, lipstick like Lakshman Rekha, speaks only in English and whose face nobody knows.

Porikki : A guy who agrees with the above definition.

Machi : A friend who either has a beautiful sister or has enough money to share in the present or future.

Less than 75% Attendance : Ineligible to write exams.

Greater than 75% Attendance : Eligible to have arrears.

Tuition Fees : Money which is unfortunately not covered by any insurance.

Exam Fees : Money spent to increase the scope of arrears.

Hall Ticket : A piece of paper which gives you the authority to stare at the question paper for 3 hrs maximum.

Exam Hall : A room where 50+ people stare at the question paper.

Unit Test : Free hour

God : Invigilator who allows you to copy.

Dog : Invigilator who doesn't allow you to copy.

Arrear : A compulsory subject from 2nd Semester.

Graveyard : Anna University

Any grade 1 bad word : Mr. Balaguruswamy, Vice-Chancellor, Anna University

Other bad words : Refers to Principal, HOD or the Lecturers depending upon the severity.

Fate : Results

The purpose of this blog is to change the fate of Curses and myself with the power of your prayers! Help us!! :-)

Sakthi ellam ondru saernthaaley...ooooooo...sorgam varum indha mann maeley..devuda devuda ezhumalai devuda, choodu da choodu da enga pakkam choodu da :-)

Update : Got my first good news already! Balaguruswamy is no longer the Vice-Chancellor!! :-)

Lab Program

#include"mandayan.h" //Lab In-charge

void checkAapu( )
{

if(mandayan==absent)
{

printf("Great escape!!");
exit(0);


}
else
{

printf("Mandayan Alert!!!");


}

}

void main( )
{

char weekend_status[20];

step1 :
printf("Weekend enna pannina? : ");
scanf("%s",weekend_status);

checkAapu( );

if(weekend_status=="Naasama Poachu")
{

printf("Maganey, nee gaali...lab-la kuththa poraango!");
return;


}

if(weekend_status=="Padichu kizhichuttaen)
{

printf("Invalid input!! Poi sollatha da vennai!!");
goto step1;


}

}

Input
What did you do this weekend? : Naasama Poachu

Output
Mandayan Alert!!!
Maganey, nee gaali...lab-la kuththa poraango!

Update : Mandayan absent, great escape!!

Laughable Labs

Practicals can be gruelling at times especially because they serve as a true test to your knowledge. If you are really good at it, it's easy. If you really suck at it, it's easier. It's those in the middle category who end up suffering, those who are termed as sincere sigamani's. With their half baked knowledge and foolishly inquistive nature, in their quest to learn more, they end up burning the bread board or taking a deep breath to smell Ammonia and end up with an "Aiyayyo, maanam poachu" look on their face. For guys like me, it's just unlimited fun. Watching people around or doing some mischief yourself helps brighten boring labs.

Chemistry labs are the easiest to enjoy. Lab in-charges usuallu give a lecture about the do's and don'ts. Just do the don'ts and the lab is yours.

Most common practice is to empty all the chemicals at your place down the drain and fill the bottles up with pure water. Then inform your lab in-charge that you don't get the titration point. Sit back and watch the fun!

Silver Nitrate and Iodine solutions are supposed to be extra costly, so take more care to waste them. I assure you saddistic pleasure.

Also, if you find anybody in your lab with a super clean, sparkling white lab coat, walk up to him, pour a bottle of Pottasium Dichromate and ask "Surf excel hai na?". Or if a lab coat is extremenly clumsy, sick looking, walk up to him, pour a bottle of the same solution and say, "Ippovaathu thoachu thulai" Either ways, this is lots of fun.

In Physics lab, we play around with magnets. People work hard to determine the magnetic field of a bar magnet using that tiny compass given to them. We go near them and casually slip another magnet below their drawing board and they end up messing up the entire thingy :-)

Electronics lab is a bit too risky. Easy to mess up the wires and the IC. You may witness firecrackers at times or if you are stupid enough, you may end up having a hairstyle like Einstein. They'll also give you this graph sheet...to plot the points and draw the graph. It's easier to draw the graph and then plot the points. That's the normal practice.

Games, matter videos etc are part and parcel of Computer Labs provided you get a suitable location. You can mock at ma'm too, like my friend did. There was this program to reverse a string and this is what he gave...

Input : GOD MADAM
Output : MADAM DOG

Ma'm struck it off, but we had a great laugh :-)

You can also go around and switch off the computers when people don't notice it! My friend does this to me every lab, while I am busy chatting away with others. Damn him!

And I discovered this new method to have fun today. Tweaking around with passwords! Go around changing passwords of people and leave a note on their system! There was this friend of mine who had his password as "eternity", which I changed to "mannangatti" and created a file in his computer...

"note_to_mannangatti. I hereby inform you that your password has been changed from eternity to mannangatti. However, you will not be aware of this since to access this file you need to logon. Cheers :-)"

Such kutti kutti funs make lab interesting. Viva is funny too, but that'll be big enough for a seperate blog by itself. I'll blog about it sometime later. So, as of now, there were a few examples of how to make your lab intersting. All the best. Cheers :-)

Results, at last!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This one was not due today. It has really been a long, gruelling wait for this semester results. There were rumours of the results being announced after Pongal. The guys then shifted it sometime around Republic Day. "Before Jan end machi, sure-a", some said. The anxiety intensified around the second week of February. Every day there used to be some jackass who announced that the results would be declared today as if he were Balaguruswamy (the wretched Vice Chancellor of Anna Univ!) himself. Sick and tired of all this, I used to greet any news about results with a middle finger. Results on 22nd February. This was the official news, put up on the University's homepage. I wanted to take out the frustration caused by these rumours one day before I got my results. But damnit! I got my results already!! Official news is no better than a rumour I guess :-)

Considering the effort I put in, my results were disappoitning to the say the least. But then I got over it pretty soon. If I were to put this in a Resume, I would describe myself as "self-motivating". But then, since none of you are going to give me a job anyways, I'd tell you the truth - "Gets distracted easily".

So I was determined to get myself distracted and went and sat in front of the TV hoping to find some funny program. Too bad for me, it was mega-serial time. Watching one scene was enough to make feel that I had lost somebody near and dear. I tried telling my parents that this is not what I needed at this time. Wait, I should say I tried, tried, tried and tried telling them. Their ears seemd to be fitted with a high pass filter (too techie I know, forgive this engineering grad!) that would let nothing other than a shrill cry from a saans or bahu to reach their ears. I was wondering if waving a hand in front of their eyes would do the trick. But something in me was telling me that I would be wasting 3.7 calories doing this and so I decided against it. They were rooted to the extent that probably even a Tsunami couldn't displace them a few inches. What good would a wave of my hand do? They'd end up thinking that there is some problem with the transmission and end up shouting at the cable operator. Poor guy, I don't want to put his life at stake.

I gave up this idea of watching TV soon for I knew pretty well that the amount of gloom spread by mega-serials was directly dependent on its proximity to prime-time. [Added to Resume as "thoughtful" and to you guys - "Gets pissed off easily"]. So, I was just lying down looking at something more interesting than what was on TV - ceiling fan in full speed. Sounds stupid, I know. But try it out all you housewives, it's a lot better than mega-serials!!

This was precisely when I got lots of phone calls and messages from people asking me about my results. I was flattered by their concern. But I did not prefer flattery at that bloody moment. Mega-serials seemed to be a lot better. Ofcourse, I had informed all my close friends earlier. But I had people who seemed to be nowhere in the picture for a good three months atleast enquiring about my results. I did not know if was I supposed to feel happy or sad! Sometimes it sure is better to be forgotten. Atleast, at this moment! I prefer to be UNPLUGGED!! :-)

Thus, I have added two things in my "To-do" list after I get my results. One, stay away from the damn TV especially if it is prime-time. Two, stay atlast a few miles away from my mobile phone. Think about something funny and weird, like say how you would adverise for Helium Mini Skirts. The very thought of such things helps you a great deal. Helium Neon Skirts help you to a greater extent though :-)

P.S. : I did take out my frustration, yeah. Just for the records, I got 70%. So I'd rather prefer a "Congratulations" than a sympathetic mega-serial kinda gloomy message. Thank you :-)

Celebration in Class! :)

Our celebration in class. :)

 The man, the mobile and the cake!

 A Vikraman style group photo :) 

(Prashanth, Ju, Raghav, Me, Sanju, Shiva and Shyam)

Wow, what a man!!

cellphone
Originally uploaded by Prav.

It was a celebration of sorts in college today, most probably the first of its kind. Just peer into that mobile phone in the photograph and you might understand what I am talking about. Yup, that's not the Serial Number of the phone, it's the life timer! 1000 hours. Repeat, 1000 hours. The man behind all this is my friend, Sudarshan, who you can see in the pic, sporting a new hair style! :)

Raghav, Vishnu, Shiva, Sanjay, Sunil, Prashanth, Shyam and myself chipped in for the event. We celebrated with a huge chocolate cake, two packets of potato chips and butter biscuits. Some cake was wasted on Ju's (as we call him) mottai mandai. But I did not bother much coz I was already full. I was happy to have skipped lunch! :)

[The photos taken during the event are in Sunil's super duper Nokia 6670 which unfortunately cannot be transferred to his dabba computer! Will post them if I get them soon enough]

Notorious for his usage of mobile phone, this feat was accomplished in just one and a half years. Smitten by friendship (as he would like to put it), he simply cannot survive without his mobile. It exists in just two states - busy or switched off due to low battery. And when sombody like ME is saying this, it just becomes more apparent as to how bad the situation is. If at all I am eligible to comment about another person's cell phone usage, it's gotta be this guy! :)

Look closely at his pic. I will not be surprised even if you find a cell phone shaped tan mark around both his ears. It's his earing aid of a different kind. Despite his addiction, it is indeed appreciable that he pays heed to his health. After news spread that cellphone radiations can cause brain damage, he did not seem to bother much. But when people started talking about impotency problems, he reacted promptly by buying a handsfree and keeping his phones far as far way from his genitals as possible. I am really happy that he has got his priorities right! :)

Though he stays pretty close to my place, I don't frequent it much. He doesn't like to be disturbed while talking. So even if I get to his place, I have to observe mouna vratham, maintain pin drop silence and even put my mobile in silent mode. We play dumb charades while he yaps away on the phone. I draw a square kinda thingy in air and stick my thumb out - means where is the book. He gestures to the shelf and gestures back to the gate - means take the book from the shelf and leave. So I usually ask him to bring whatever I need to college. Saves me a lot of humiliation.

Airtel, Hutch and Aircel have all been benifited. Not to mention the PCO booth where he resides when his cell phone charge drains out. Every month, he spends money more than what it cost Graham Bell to invent a telephone. Out of this he spends like Rs.10 for all his close friends - these people, me inclusive, pick up what was supposed to be a missed call. All by accident.

So all you need to find out the secret behind this thousand hours is an educated guess. I guess you are all educated enough to understand! :)

If at all the CEO of Nokia had any doubts about the longevity of its models, this will answer all of it. They may just need to concentrate a bit on the keypad I guess. It's kinda worn out right?