Sunday, February 27, 2005

New!!

I've finally managed to get something done on my blog. It's been long since I wanted some new sections on my blog. And without getting that done, words woudn't come out for whatever I try to write about.

I am too obsessed with this black background that there was no chance of me tweaking around with it. Green in black, me a Matrix fan. So thought, some random stuff on the sidebar would do and that's what I've managed now.

Megapixels, is where I put up arbitrary pics, updated ferquently. Decided to start off with my own pic that has invariably brought lots of cheers to whoever saw it. [ Ennai paar yogam varum donkey maadhiri nu solla varala! ] I've also added a small comment box below it which reads "Talk Me". That's got a purpose too. I'll tell you guys if the pic was taken by me. If it is, then you can (read MUST) appreciate me there no matter how the pic is. Since this the first pic it would only be decent of you people to appreciate me, no matter who took it. Thanks for the support!

Crack 'em is a section for puzzles. Got this idea from Orkut communities. Found it to be a nice timepass. So, yeah, once you work out the answers, post em in the comment box below. You may even put up a new question there after you are done answering the previous puzzles. I'll updating this as frequently as I can.

Quotes and Misquotes needs no explanation I guess. Check it out your yourself :-)

Another kutti change is to the Comments Template. You will see a new "Talk Me @ PravUnplugged" banner on top. That was designed by Magix [Nallavan, vallavan, matter therinjavan! Ennada ok-va? Nee sonnatha vida oru two words extra-va ezhuthi irukkaen! ]

Just to round off the number of changes to a nice number like 5, there is "Suggest Something". Use it to suggest anything!! I just want comments there, you may even play antakshari, but post!!

Wanted to add calendars, clocks, polls etc etc. Appuram over-a bandha pannaraen solliduveenga. So this would do for the time being I guess! :-)

Signing off,
Praveen

Labels:


Thursday, February 24, 2005

What is this??



Narain Karthikeyan's tri-coloured helmet has been banned by the government. Reason : People should not bear the tri-colour in their clothing or equipment.

Now isn't this stupid! I don't see anything wrong if it is on his helmet! We have seen cricket stars tying the national flag around their necks like batman or superman and running about. Is that alone permitted???

Narain : "We're only doing the country proud. I can probably sell that helmet space to sponsors and make a lot of money, so it's their loss."

I guess I'll agree with him on this one.

Labels: ,


Hot hot Goblet of Fire!!

Hosted by Photobucket.com Hosted by Photobucket.com


Here is reason why you must watch Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire!!

Labels: ,


Tuesday, February 22, 2005

The Solar System and us

First let me assure you that this is no NASA stuff. I am not going to talk about layers of ice discovered in Mars by some arbitrary outer space rovers. Nor am I going to talk about large eyed, double headed, green, slimy aliens that have multi-coloured tube-lights, like in Star Wars, as an integral part of their weaponry, and speak to George Bush aboout when they would destroy the world using this ultra modern defence system. That was a pretty long sentence I believe. Breathe. Relax. Now with this assurance, read on.

I was in no mood to go to college today eventhough I got up pretty early. I was kinda gloomy when I woke up and felt like I needed somebody to hug and get back to sleep. Since I wouldn't settle for anybody below the likes of Aishwarya Rai, Anna Kournikova etc I was left with no other choice. I had to wake up at damned six thirty in the morning. My parents' words were still echoing in my ears - "You never have the luck in examinations". I was with them, completely, until I heard what my friend had to say when I met him in the evening. Only 23 students, out of a total 120 in my department, had cleared the examinations. What do I call myself now? Lucky? Unlucky? I'll stick with Praveen for the time being :-)

There are many ways to change your destiny, your fate, your luck. Now that's what this post is all about. Breath again, a sigh of relief, for you have finally got a vague idea of what's in store in this blog.

Fortune telling, for those who believe in it, is something that is so powerful that it is capable of predicting the number of children Laloo Prasad Yadav has at a given point of time, accurately. For those who don't believe in it, it is something that suggests that the life of a man with six senses is decided by a bird, a parrot, which just has five sense. In short, they treat it as a seventh sense, viz. nonsense. In addition, there are certain associated fields like Vasthu Shastra and Lucky Stones that deal with corrective procedures. Let us delve into the details and understand the art better.

Astrology
It is the study of an old, worn out paper at home that has some yellowy stuff at the four corners and a noughts and crosses kinda box in the center? This is what astrologers work on. That yellow cornered paper, a huge atlas, holds the key to your life according to this art. It really is important that you get someone trustworthy to work on this dirty bit of paper. "Saturn is in the 8th house and Jupiter is in the 4th, so invest your money in cotton mills", you might have heard some say. You will know that he is the wrong person when you find out that Saturn is in the 2nd house but you are on the streets.

Kili Josiyam
Often found in the roadside. A parrot that is not in control of its own life, determines your life. Generally used by our meteorological department to predit weather and give out Tsunami warnings. People say that India did now not have the proper alert system. The truth is, it did. Just that the parrot was unwell on that day. It was thus a case of system malfunction.

Palmistry
This is what people actually mean by "Your life is in your hands". You can be a palmist if you are good at geometry. Just look at the lines in your palms. Each has some significance depending on its depth and length. Draw lines parallel to it, construct a tangent, mesaure the angles and you are done. Very effective technique. It is infact rumoured that the Tamil Nadu police are perparing concrete evidence making cuts in Jayendra Saraswati's hands with a Gillete Platinum edged blade in order to prove that he is a criminal.

Lucky Stones
If you are having a financial crisis, all you need to do is shell out around 25K to wear a diamond ring and your time may get worser or worst depending on your time. This usually deals with corrective procedures. Eg : Laloo, who had cattle as his children, had humans after he wore a silver ring studded with Topaz. Every stone has some specific power. The stone which is recommended to you depends on the financial situation of your seller. As they say, it does a lot of good, but to the seller. You can either buy a lucky stone and wear it in you hand and get a paarangal and put it on your head. The effects are pretty much the same.

Numerology
This is an art of weird spellings. If you spell your name in the normal, ordinary fashion then your life is bound to be filled with problems. It generally is an easy procedure and can be experimented by everybody. If you are facing any problem, just try increasing the number vowels in your name keeping in mind that the pronounciation is still intact. Repeat this procedure till you actually get satisfying results. Eg : If you are having problems and your name is Pravin, try making it Praveen, Praveeen, Praveeeen, Praveeeeen and so on. This way you'll find that signing your name is a greater problem than your original problem itself. Thus the problem will lose its significance.

Vaasthu Shastra
One of the highly recommended procedures to demolish houses. Your pooja room faces east, your kitchen west, your hall south, your bedroom northeast and bathroom northwest, else you face a crisis. So you approach a Lion K.Somebody [that's how these guys usually have their names] and ask them to remodel your house so that you can sleep in the hall, eat in the bedroom, shit in the kitchen and invite your guests to be seated in the bathroom. If you do not like this idea, then you need to completely remodel your house - remember you are already in a crisis? So it is infact a lot better to build your houses in the north pole where all directions face south. But again, you are in a crisis and you can't travel that four. So the only option is to arrange for more seaters in your toilet for your guests to sit down.

Other than these, we also have Naadi Josiyam, Vethalai-la Mai Poattu seeing, Masuru Kodu Sumathi Kaataraen used in Singara Velan etc etc. All these help you know about what lies in store for you in the future.

Saw my fortune on a website for today. It said, "I will inherit a large sum of money". I was verry happy until my friend reminded me of the seventy bucks I owe him!

Labels: ,


Monday, February 21, 2005

Results, at last!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This one was not due today. It has really been a long, gruelling wait for this semester results. There were rumours of the results being announced after Pongal. The guys then shifted it sometime around Republic Day. "Before Jan end machi, sure-a", some said. The anxiety intensified around the second week of February. Every day there used to be some jackass who announced that the results would be declared today as if he were Balaguruswamy (the wretched Vice Chancellor of Anna Univ!) himself. Sick and tired of all this, I used to greet any news about results with a middle finger. Results on 22nd February. This was the official news, put up on the University's homepage. I wanted to take out the frustration caused by these rumours one day before I got my results. But damnit! I got my results already!! Official news is no better than a rumour I guess :-)

Considering the effort I put in, my results were disappoitning to the say the least. But then I got over it pretty soon. If I were to put this in a Resume, I would describe myself as "self-motivating". But then, since none of you are going to give me a job anyways, I'd tell you the truth - "Gets distracted easily".

So I was determined to get myself distracted and went and sat in front of the TV hoping to find some funny program. Too bad for me, it was mega-serial time. Watching one scene was enough to make feel that I had lost somebody near and dear. I tried telling my parents that this is not what I needed at this time. Wait, I should say I tried, tried, tried and tried telling them. Their ears seemd to be fitted with a high pass filter (too techie I know, forgive this engineering grad!) that would let nothing other than a shrill cry from a saans or bahu to reach their ears. I was wondering if waving a hand in front of their eyes would do the trick. But something in me was telling me that I would be wasting 3.7 calories doing this and so I decided against it. They were rooted to the extent that probably even a Tsunami couldn't displace them a few inches. What good would a wave of my hand do? They'd end up thinking that there is some problem with the transmission and end up shouting at the cable operator. Poor guy, I don't want to put his life at stake.

I gave up this idea of watching TV soon for I knew pretty well that the amount of gloom spread by mega-serials was directly dependent on its proximity to prime-time. [Added to Resume as "thoughtful" and to you guys - "Gets pissed off easily"]. So, I was just lying down looking at something more interesting than what was on TV - ceiling fan in full speed. Sounds stupid, I know. But try it out all you housewives, it's a lot better than mega-serials!!

This was precisely when I got lots of phone calls and messages from people asking me about my results. I was flattered by their concern. But I did not prefer flattery at that bloody moment. Mega-serials seemed to be a lot better. Ofcourse, I had informed all my close friends earlier. But I had people who seemed to be nowhere in the picture for a good three months atleast enquiring about my results. I did not know if was I supposed to feel happy or sad! Sometimes it sure is better to be forgotten. Atleast, at this moment! I prefer to be UNPLUGGED!! :-)

Thus, I have added two things in my "To-do" list after I get my results. One, stay away from the damn TV especially if it is prime-time. Two, stay atlast a few miles away from my mobile phone. Think about something funny and weird, like say how you would adverise for Helium Mini Skirts. The very thought of such things helps you a great deal. Helium Neon Skirts help you to a greater extent though :-)

P.S. : I did take out my frustration, yeah. Just for the records, I got 70%. So I'd rather prefer a "Congratulations" than a sympathetic mega-serial kinda gloomy message. Thank you :-)

Labels: ,


Sunday, February 20, 2005

New Valentine Bear

I have been getting high quality pics of all sorts in my mailbox these days. Some adorable ones of Sania (sigh!). Some weird ones. This is just one among them.

I assume these would be Valentine Bears that would hit the market in the next year. I am now wondering what each on signifies. Looks like the first one says, "It's pretty hot with all these clothes on." The second one suggests, "That was heaven." And the third says, "Get to the doctor before it is too late." The fourth one assures you of a break up if things get out of control. So choose one that best describes your relationship and gift it your love :-)

P.S. : My sincere apologies to all the teddy lovers.

Labels: ,


Thursday, February 17, 2005

A Fairy Tale

The last time I attended Maths class at IMS, my ma'm had asked me if I had done my homework. And I, being a good college student, obviously replied in negative. I don't blame her actually. If you walk in five minutes late with your study material rolled up like a newspaper, you need to tackle such questions. No matter what they ask, I just smile back and they leave me alone after that :-). So, I decided to be a goody-good boy today and decided to do the "pre-class work", as it is called.

To my frustration, today's topic was "Permutations and Combinations", something that is good enough to help my hairline recede further. With great difficulty I managed to complete the portions and went to class all happy today. But damn her, she did not ask about it! As she was explaining all the basic concepts, I spent some time drawing a portrait of her. I am no artist, but a portrait of her is the simplest thing in the world. You just need to draw a "stick diagram". Like the one in Hangman. Was done with it in a jiffy and slowly shifted my attention towards the girls in class coz I already knew what she was cribbing there; I had studied it already damnit!

The only solace seemed to be a girl who looked cuter than ever before. She is the one I usually gape at but she was extra cute today. It was probably because of the irritation I was in. Read this in whispers - I felt I wanted to go hug her tight! Munnabhai MBBS ;-)

At this moment, stepped in a fairy. I had never seen her in class all these days. No clue as to who she was and why the heavens she was stepping in, but honestly, I did not mind :-). This is definitely not love at first sight for I don't believe in all such crap. It was just the happiness that filled my heart. The excitement that I now had an alternative to admire. They say variety adds spice to life, I am with whoever the hell said it! God was smiling on me. I could smile too. The gloom and frustration seemed to have vanished. The class seemed to be interesting all of a sudden. It indeed is amazing how much a pretty girl can do to a dull class, ain't? [ As long as she keeps her mouth shut. ]

The little angel opened her mouth to ask something and my mouth opened in awe, as if they were synchronised. Some sort of heavenly bond existed, or atleast that's what I believed. "Is this the new batch ma'm?" is what that spoilt brat asked! And I could hear something explode. The decibel level was slightly high. Probably it was not just my heart that blew up. The little devil had walked into the wrong classroom. Why?? To distract me further? Before I could even catch another glimpse of her, she was gone. There I was, sitting in disbelief. All I had in front of me was this hangman, argh!

One good thing though, she was done teaching the ABCs of the chapter and we could now get to solve problems. Its a lot better to have your own sheet of paper and drown yourself in sums rather than listening to somebody teach. I don't blame them though. My ears are perhaps tuned to the lullaby frequency. Irrespective of the staff and their tone, I manage to yawn. Anyways, back to these problems...I had done them twice as fast as the others and even managed to get a ten on ten! That girl, that sweetheart, she made my day. And having finishing problems this fast, I got back to admiring the cute little thing I used to admire :-).

Just to give this a fairy tale ending... And they both [the angel and me (or) the cute lil thing and me] hopefully marry and love happily ever after...Sigh!

Labels:


Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Celebration in Class! :)

Our celebration in class. :)
 The man, the mobile and the cake!
Hosted by Photobucket.com Hosted by Photobucket.com   
 A Vikraman style group photo :) 
Hosted by Photobucket.com
(Prashanth, Ju, Raghav, Me, Sanju, Shiva and Shyam)

Labels: ,


Monday, February 14, 2005

Single on Valentine's day?

Finally, the day has arrived. Valentine's day has been gaining importance gradually and by now it is one of the most important days on a calendar. Beaches, parks, coffee shops, discotheques and restaurants are inundated with people and gift shops are stacked up with loads of gifts. It has become a festival of its own kind.

Valentine's Day, however, is the most irritating for somebody who is single. This blog is to help out all you guys who are dying to get over the gloom which surrounds you on this very day. You can be as happy as they are, cheer up. Read through this FAQ and who knows, by the end of the day you may actually find a valentine!

What is Valentine's day?
Just a special day to express your love to anybody. Just tell them you love them. You can go straight to your mom and say, "I love you". However, if you are hell bent upon having a girlfriend, a lover, then this does not work. Infact you may even end up badly bruised or bruised depending upon whether the girl is wearing high heels or normal shoes.

How important is my language when I propose?
Very important. You should know perfectly well what you are trying to convey. "Do you love me?" entirely different from "Will you make love to me?". This is a very common mistake. On Feb 15th, you usually see a lot of names on the obituary columns. Now you know why.

What about my outift?
You need to be dressed in your best outfit. Just in case your definition of a best outfit is a sleeveless t-shirt with a bell-bottomed pant, then feel free to ask others for suggestions. It may even be a nice idea to know what the girl's taste is. Wear what she likes the best.

You mean Salwar??
No, not that! You can as well wear you favourite outfit instead! I meant some menswear that would suit her taste. Say a t-shirt and jean?

Any specific colours prefered?
Good question. Actually each colour is associated with some meaning. Wearing red means you are already in to some relationship.

Is that the significance of saying "red light areas"?
No. You are getting off the topic, this is Valentine's day!

Ok, can I wear black then?
And make it look like a funeral? That suits after marriage, don't be in a hurry.

Ok, then which is better?
Green. It actually signifies that you are single and looking for someone. But make sure it is easy on the eyes. You may be a fan of Ramarajan, but don't let others know it. Girls don't appreciate it actually.

Green pants too?
Hmm. It's fine if your girl is from Andhra.

Otherwise?
Humans and dogs will chase you alike and you will be stoned to death.

Do I gift her something?
You must.

A card and a rose. Would that do?
No wonder you are single.

How about a teddy bear with a heart?
Yeah, they find it cute. But there is another factor - if your girl's friends get something costlier than what you have given her, then you are doomed.

How about some chocolates too?
Good enough. But they should all be pretty expensive. Don't think on the lines of Eclairs and Nutrine Maha Lacto. Seen those huge boxes of chocolates in big stores? The ones you always wished that someone gets you as a gift? Those.

Oh god, anything else I need to give?
Flowers are good too. But again, to satisfy her you need to own a Brindavan Garden atleast.

So how do I propose?
First make sure you adhere to all the above advices properly. Then google for some catchy sentimental line to propose. Like these. I would personally recommend No.6 on that list coz just in case things don't go all that well, you'll be atleast satisfied a bit. And yeah be prepared to handle any situation.

What?
For eg : You say this to to a girl - "Hi, my name is Chance, Do I have one?"
If she replies, "Every dog has its day" or something of that sort, then you should be able to counter it.

How do I do that?
Don't bother that you've been insulted. You are just being prepared for married life. So you should just say, "Can I have it tonight?". She might fume. Then show her your middle finger, collect all your gifts back and move to the girl at the next table.

So have I found my true love?
For a year, yes. Till someone gifts something more expensive. If you want to stay in contention gift something really expensive the next year. If you wish to break up, tell her that you will be an hour late for your meet coz you are currently drying those costly costly chocolates which you got for her, on which your dog unfortunately peed.

What if everybody rejects me?
Don't worry. Spend your night at TASMAC. Get a quarter and some water packets. Forget all your worries. Try again next year. Every dog has its day.

Disclaimer : The author is in now way responsible if you are attacked by Shiv Sena activists during the course of the above process. People interested, may try at their own risk. And ofcourse, all this is just for fun!


Happy Valentine's Day! :)

Labels: ,


Sunday, February 13, 2005

My Valentine! :)

Cupid

Be My Valentine Be Mine Teddy Chocolate Valentine

Hosted by Photobucket.comHosted by Photobucket.comHosted by Photobucket.comHosted by Photobucket.com


The first time I saw her play was on Saturday and it did not take me long to take this decision. Ain't she cute? I haven't asked her yet. So what you guys say? Can I go on with this? ;-)

Labels: ,


Friday, February 11, 2005

Wow, what a man!!


cellphone
Originally uploaded by Prav.

It was a celebration of sorts in college today, most probably the first of its kind. Just peer into that mobile phone in the photograph and you might understand what I am talking about. Yup, that's not the Serial Number of the phone, it's the life timer! 1000 hours. Repeat, 1000 hours. The man behind all this is my friend, Sudarshan, who you can see in the pic, sporting a new hair style! :)

Raghav, Vishnu, Shiva, Sanjay, Sunil, Prashanth, Shyam and myself chipped in for the event. We celebrated with a huge chocolate cake, two packets of potato chips and butter biscuits. Some cake was wasted on Ju's (as we call him) mottai mandai. But I did not bother much coz I was already full. I was happy to have skipped lunch! :)

[The photos taken during the event are in Sunil's super duper Nokia 6670 which unfortunately cannot be transferred to his dabba computer! Will post them if I get them soon enough]

Notorious for his usage of mobile phone, this feat was accomplished in just one and a half years. Smitten by friendship (as he would like to put it), he simply cannot survive without his mobile. It exists in just two states - busy or switched off due to low battery. And when sombody like ME is saying this, it just becomes more apparent as to how bad the situation is. If at all I am eligible to comment about another person's cell phone usage, it's gotta be this guy! :)

Look closely at his pic. I will not be surprised even if you find a cell phone shaped tan mark around both his ears. It's his earing aid of a different kind. Despite his addiction, it is indeed appreciable that he pays heed to his health. After news spread that cellphone radiations can cause brain damage, he did not seem to bother much. But when people started talking about impotency problems, he reacted promptly by buying a handsfree and keeping his phones far as far way from his genitals as possible. I am really happy that he has got his priorities right! :)

Though he stays pretty close to my place, I don't frequent it much. He doesn't like to be disturbed while talking. So even if I get to his place, I have to observe mouna vratham, maintain pin drop silence and even put my mobile in silent mode. We play dumb charades while he yaps away on the phone. I draw a square kinda thingy in air and stick my thumb out - means where is the book. He gestures to the shelf and gestures back to the gate - means take the book from the shelf and leave. So I usually ask him to bring whatever I need to college. Saves me a lot of humiliation.

Airtel, Hutch and Aircel have all been benifited. Not to mention the PCO booth where he resides when his cell phone charge drains out. Every month, he spends money more than what it cost Graham Bell to invent a telephone. Out of this he spends like Rs.10 for all his close friends - these people, me inclusive, pick up what was supposed to be a missed call. All by accident.

So all you need to find out the secret behind this thousand hours is an educated guess. I guess you are all educated enough to understand! :)

If at all the CEO of Nokia had any doubts about the longevity of its models, this will answer all of it. They may just need to concentrate a bit on the keypad I guess. It's kinda worn out right?

Labels: ,


Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Have you been to Planet Yumm?

Updated :

It is always great to hangout at Elliots in the evening and finish it off with a nice hot Masala Dosa from Saravana Bhavan. Hot enough to burn your tongue, and at the same time burn a hole through your pocket. Nobody ever complains though, because you have hotter chicks around.

Chat from Gangotri, Pizzas from Dominos, Ice Creams from Milky Way, Beverages from Coffee Day and hot South India items from Saravan Bhavan..all under one roof. (Pervert, I was just talking about the food!) . It just caters perfectly to your needs, a great place to get together with friends. My trip to the Elliots Beach invariably ends at Planet Yumm. School mates, chat pals..I have had a great time there.

While we glut ourselves with the delicious food we get, have we ever thought about where it all comes from? Here is the secret recipe! :)

Well well well. So...have you been to Planet Yumm?


*********

Guess none of you know what I am talking about coz the site is asking for login to access the archives! Your reactions, no wonder, surprised me! :)

I am pasting the first few lines here...
Food for Planet Yumm handled near a toilet at Central
CHENNAI: It’s not exactly unpalatable, but it leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Food material brought for the high-end Planet Yumm Food Mall in the Central is handled near a public toilet. Sometimes workers unloading the stock place food-laden trays on the floor of the toilet for convenience.


To read the full article sign in with..
User Name : pravunplugged
Password : prav

Hope you guys get it now! :)

Labels:


Tuesday, February 08, 2005

India's own Lalu

I wish to start off this post by praying for the speedy recovery of our President - Abdul Kalam who is suffering from a minor fracture. At this moment, my only consolation is that our only other ray of hope : Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav is sitting pretty.

We have read numerous time in our history texts about how blessed a cointry India is. I am sure that our future generations would read about Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav in their texts; because that is the purpose of having history as a subject : learning from mistakes of the past!

Abdul Kalam's India 2020 is being widely talked about. No doubt it is a great vision. But Lalu's Bihar 2020 can by no means be overlooked. The eco-friendly Bihar would be the envy of the world by 2020.

Bihar 2020
  • Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav lives with his family (read herd) in caves, leading by example.
  • Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav discovers fire and uses it for tribal ceremonies.
  • Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav invents the wheel. He suggests a triangular shape to the wheel since it closely resembles a cow's horn.
  • Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav suggests that this change is also reflected in the National Flag - the chakra replaced by a horn.
  • Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav sits under a coconut tree and a coconute falls on his head. He promptly identifies that it looks a lot like his head. Thus tries to establish genetic relationship.
  • Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav runs naked, shouting "Yekka Yekka" when he discovers that fodder is less dense than water.
  • Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav proposes the laws of motion - every cow has its own horn which continues to grow until it is chopped off. Every horn has its pair which is equal in size to the original horn but bends in the opposite direction.
  • Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav proposes the Theory Of Relativity - Buffalo's milk contains 10% more fat than cow's milk.
  • Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav sees a bird flying. Ponders as to why his cows don't fly. Concludes that cows don't possess beaks and thus the aerodynamics.
  • Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav decides to worship the moon since it gives light at night.
  • Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav promotes agriculture when he discovered that sprouts of something came out from his head and ears.

Who else had the idea to serve butter milk in earthern mutkas? The fact that the unwashed mutkas have a repelling odour and highly unhygienic is however insignificant. What matters is that this man had the noble thought to help the poor potter.

Who else had the courage to stand against Ram Vilas Paswan? Both "leaders" were magnanimous in accusing each other of criminal offences. The fact that the PM did not have the slightest idea to order an inquiry on the issue is however insignificant. What matters is the courage that this man showed in dealing with his rivals.

Who else had the idea to distribute money to the poor, to help them, before elections? That too right in front of the camera? The fact that the Election Commission gave him only a warning for outright bribery of the electorate is however insignificant. What matters is Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav's compassion, his heart to help the poor fellows buy some "mitai" to celebrate the occasion. A noble gesture.

Who else had the guts to sit when the National Anthem was being sung? Ofcourse, there was his better half who also did the same. But she also belongs to the herd..err..family of Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav. The fact that the Railway Minister and The Chief Minister of Bihar had their butts cushioned in a sofa while the others were standing as a mark of respect to the nation is however insignificant. What matters is that they were not obstructing the proceedings and thus did not commit any criminal offence.

It is indeed a sad plight that many of us Indians do not recognise the deeds of Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav. He may have a head like a coconut, agreed. He may look like a scare crow when he has his arms stretched like Jack Dawson, agreed. He may be short enought to call him a pulasulaaki, agreed. He may have a mop like hair style, agreed. He may have a very large family with similar features and to qualify for a Vikraman group photo, agreed. All that is insignificant. Appearances are deceptive. The people of Bihar are educated enough to realise this. It would not be fair on our part to not give due recognition to a man with such a bright vision. Bihar is already on the track to attain its goal. God Bless Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav. Jai Hind.

P.S. : I had absolutely no intentions to insult Abdul Kalam by talking about Shri Shri Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav in the same paragraph. Hope you understand.


Labels: ,


Friday, February 04, 2005

Figure On Wheels

The journey back home from college is long and boring, especially if it's a half a day because public transport is the only way out. To my relief, it was a lot interesting today inspite of having just one other person to talk to. Our topic of discussion during the course of this punishing 40km journey was "How women drive on the roads?". I assure you that it's one perennial source of entertainment. If you have seen women drive on roads you may understand what I am talking about. Thus, with all due respect to womenfolk, I am going ahead with this post. Please forgive me :)

Senseless. This is just one apt word to describe the way women drive. It is just a question of how this senselessness is achieved.

The mention of rash driving conjures up images of men in super fast bikes (minus the silencer). Why women get this "angely" image is what baffles me. The way some of them drive leaves you in awe - poraanga da Valentino Rossi paeththi. [Requested not drill into details like if Rossi really has paeththi. Certain assumptions have been made considering that he is the only MotoGP racer I know of.] Speed is fine as long as you have the control - proper reflexes are of utmost importance. This is invariably lacking for reasons unknown.

This is coupled by their "All's mine" attitude. The entire stretch of tar is completely at their disposal.

  • Press accelarator and you move forward.
  • The harder you press, the faster you move.
  • Usage of brakes wears out the tyres.
  • Use brakes only when you wish to come to complete halt [read when you wish to park]
  • This is a competitive world and you should let absolutely nothing stop you. Squash your obstacles.

This is a checklist and they make sure they adhere to it. In short, it's their appan veettu roadu.

The other category consists of snail lovers and tortoise admirers. Those who perhaps, one upon a time, drove for jaanvaasams, progressing at a rate slower than their favorite mega serials. They prefer to go along the pavement or on it. They still are a great deal of nuisance; to pedestrians. It may look like I am exaggerating when I say that some even keep their feet near the ground so that they have the confidence that they can balance themselves, but I AM NOT. Witnessed this yesterday and I did not know whether to laugh or cry. Nadavandi thallara ninappu innum pogaliyo ennavo.

It is no less funny to watch them drive a four wheeler - sitting erect like never before so that they can catch a glimpse past the steering wheel. Aerodynamics doesn't suit them. Sweating profusely and full of concentration. This, am referring to the middle aged women. The young blood adhere to the checklist without fail.

As if this were not enough, you get to witness more [no double meaning intended]. The "accessories" which they sport while driving a vehicle. Some wear a dust filter mask or whatever. Protection from pollutants, fine enough. Some others mask their face with their dupattas in such a fashion that they look like Afghans. And there are others, Aravind Swamy's cousin sisters, who wear a long white glove to avoid their skin from getting tanned. Kaathotam-a irukkanum-nu sleeveless onnu poattu, karuththuda koodathu-nu maela oru glove.

Am not saying that men are perfect at driving. But, witnessing all this, it is just natural for me to gather that men have a better road sense.

Have you seen the face of a person when he gets out of the car after teaching a lady how to drive? Well, if you have, then you would agree with me :)


Labels: ,