Monday, December 26, 2005

Maramando : Trailer

Click pic to enlarge

A.R. Mottaboss Presents



Gabtun as Vijay Munusamy
9-thara as Alpana
Gumitha as Chatra


Zolufis Xamiyaj
(Pronounced : Harris Jeyaraj)

"Sir, naan Vijay Munusamy case-la project panna poraen"
"Onnum thevai illa, pesaama Mudumalai poi rest edu!"
"Atleast andha case-a pathi explain pannunga sir"
"Sorry ma, enakku 15 mins maela edhuvum gnabagam irukkarthu!"

"Enga sir poganum?"
"Endha veetukku?"
"India-la motham 2579 crore veedunga irukku, adhula 1267 crore veetukku asian baints adichirukaanga..."
"Sir, sir 15 mins aagiduchu, please idhellam maranthudunga sir!!"

"En baeru Vijay. Vijay Munusamy. Naan blane-laenthu erangina, en binnadi naalu baer varuvaanga"
"Without-la travel panna appadi dhaan!"

"Naan Vijay Munusamy-a love pannala paaa!!"
"Neeyae avana love pannati, vaera yaar pannuva?!"
"Avana manushan love pannuvaana?!"
"So nee dheiriyama pannalam!"

"Alpana naan US boraen"
"Uzhavar Sandhai dhaaney? Poitu va"
"Illa illa Unided Sdades of Ameriga"
"Oor paerey vaai-la nuzhaiyala unakku, nee anga pona seruppala adichu thiruppi anuppuvaanga, pessama ingaye kada!"

"En Alpana-va kolai pannavan moonji en kannu munnadiye irukku"
"Moodhevi, edhurlaye ninna kannu munnadi dhaan irukkum!"

See Was Gilled

See Is Gone

Find Im and Soot Im

Coming soon to a blog near you!! :-)

Disclaimer : All characters are fictitious. Any resemblences are supposedly coincidental


PS 1 : Me hopes to write this as a series starting from next week :-)

PS 2 : And with this post I celebrate this blog's first anniversary! I have tried on so many occasions in the past to cook up a serious blog, but have never been succesful! Lets see if I succeed in the coming year

Thanks to all you guys!!

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Not here, please!!

Are you sweating profusely inspite of a cold wave? Is there a traffic jam on the footpath? Does the smell around you make you badly want to bury your face in a railway toilet? Welcome to T.Nagar - the busiest shopping area in our galaxy.

Shopping in T.Nagar is not an easy task. It requires a lot of patience and a great amount of stupidity to choose it as the venue. If you were to visit all the shops in the area, you'll actually not come out before 2020 A.D. So, here's a little FAQ that would help you guys to go around the place and be prepared for the worst.

Where is this T.Nagar?
Nobody knows accurately. It is just this lovely place in Chennai, which if you decide to visit for the second time, you get a free seasonal pass for a window-side bed in Kilpauk hospital.

Sounds like a holiday package..what if I manage a third visit?
You get one year free admission at Yervadi, next to Sethu Vikram. Cost of chain included in the package.

Oh! You said it's a lovely place. Do people go there for sight-seeing?
Kinda yeah, it is Chennai's own version of "Suicide Point"

Can we shop there?
There are just two things you can do at T.Nagar. One,shop and two,die. The former is optional though.

My wife wants some good silk sarees. Where do I take her?
Push her into Pothys and run. This is your best chance to live with some self respect in future.

What if I stay?
You automatically qualify for Bihar elections.

What if I go in too?
If you are Gopi, you'll come out as Gopi 65.

I heard gold is pretty cheap at some place there?
Very cheap yeah, not just the rate. I guess you are talking about Ranganathan Street, Annachi shop.

Ya ya. How do I go there?
You just need to stand at the start of that street. Close your eyes. Open your eyes. You are inside Annachi shop, courtesy : fellow shoppers.

Can I take my vehicle?
Shut up! Even Laloo wouldn't do that!

Oh is it very crowded?
Yeah, by the time you count the number of people around you, they can telecast Junoon twice.

Junoon?? What's that?
Kadavule! Paathathu illiya Junoon neenga? Periya athu megaserial. Pesuvaanga maathi maathi thamizh athula.

Oh! By the way, do men shop in T.Nagar?
Wise men stay away. Married men do shop.

I heard there are lots of platform shops?
There is no platform. Only shops.

Whatever, how good are they?
Very good infact. You get all sortsa brands including Nykee, Ribok and Adeedas. At cheap rates that too!

Hey isn't that phony? The spellings are all messed up!!
Naah. They have been changed according to numerology, that's all.

Fine. Is there any good restaurant there?
Ya, Saravana Bhavan.

Wow! What would I get there for, say 50 rupees?
Quite a lot. Half a dosa, 5 ml Sambhar and some pebbles.

Pebbles? Why??
Huh, you are dumber than a crow! To raise the level of sambhar ofcourse.

No chutney is it?
They have it in a big vessel near the entrance. You are allowed to take a peek.

That's bad. But I heard there's a hot chips too?
You'll be a hot chip yourself once you step into Ranganathan Street.

How is the air pollution level in T.Nagar?
One deep breath and you'll die on the spot, money back guarantee.

So many issues, eh? Finally, what's the best thing about T.Nagar?
Variety. So many shops, so many dresses and so many accessories. Even if you escape death by other mean, you'll be confused to death!


I sincerely hope this FAQ doesn't become applicable to Mylapore in the near future. I've been here for more than twenty years and can't bear to see Mylapore become as chaotic as T.Nagar! I have no clue why the Govt. gives permission to build multi-storeyed buildings in the crowded Mada streets - Saravana Bhavan, Kumaran Silks, SM Silks and Sukra Jewellers all have shops in the area now. Pothys and Nathella are planning to open big showrooms too, I heard. Boo hoo! Get away, we don't need you!! :-(

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

The Boss

the boss!
Pic : Suruttified from newspaper

Varippuli jaathi-a irundhaalum seri, Sakthi udambula paathi-a irundhalum seri, michcham meethi-a irundhaalum seri, ini ungalukkellam beethi!

Konjam unga BGM ellam mute-la veyyungappa, enga thalaivar varaaru!

Shooting starts today! Yayy!!

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Friday, December 09, 2005

Irritating IVRS

IVRS : Hi. Welcome to Customer Care. If you want to continue in English press 1. For Hindi press 2. For Tamil press 3. If you are Harris Jeyaraj, press 4.
Guy : 1
IVRS : If you want to talk to our executive, press 1.
Guy : un kooda manushan pesuvaana!! 1.
IVRS : All our executives are currently busy, please stay online. If you would like to talk to Saurav Ganguly in the meanwhile, press 1. Else press 2.
Guy : Ganguly-a vida unga executives busy-a?? Anyways 2.
IVRS : If you are sure you don't want to talk to Ganguly, press 1. Else press 2.
Guy : Idhukku maela 2 press panna, confident, lock keejiye ellam kaekkum pola irukku. Namma 1-ey press panniduvom. 1.
IVRS : Sorry, this service is currently unavailable since Ganguly has been unexpectedly named in the test squad. Do call back next week. We are sure he'll be back with us. Thank you. We will now try transferring you to our executive. Please wait.
Guy : Ivalo nerama adha dhaan pannitu irukkaen!
IVRS : Sorry, all our executives are currently busy. If you like to listen to some jokes in the menwhile, press 1. Else press 2.
Guy : Jobless anyways, atleast some jokes would help. Okie 1.
IVRS : This Lok Sabha session is brought to you live. Sorry, the house has been adjourned after the opposition blamed Ms. Ponia for giving permission to Italian Pizza outlets. Mr. Natwar Dance is also facing charges in the Oregon Seasoning scam.
Guy : Huh! Now what am I supposed to press??
IVRS : All our executives are currently busy. We predict that you'd have a couple of grey hairs by now. Press 1 to buy hair dye. Press 2 to buy Henna. Press 3 if you are not interested in the offer.
Guy : Saniyan! 3.
IVRS : We are currently transferring you to our executive. Please stay on line.
*SA Rajkumar style lalala in the background*
Executive : May I help you?
Guy : Pinna unna pathi visarikkava call pannaen!
Executive : Your name please, sir.
Guy : Lord Labakku Das.
Executive : What should I do for you sir?
Guy : My balance has reduced suddenly.
Executive : Pass book-a paarunga!
Guy : I mean my prepaid account balance!
Executive : Sorry sir, I handle only postpaid accounts. Please dial 35007 for prepaid accounts! Now please be online to listen to S.A. Rajkumar's lalala tune before you disconnect. Thank you!

Presently, 'Customer Care' remains no more than a 'Kashtam'er Care.

Update : This post has been edited since I was told by someone close that it hurt their faith - the reference to Adam and Eve. I did not mean to do that, sorry! Anyways what you find above is what I wrote in the beginning, before going beserk

PS : The original post is here.

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Monday, December 05, 2005

Sivakasi 'n' Maja - Review

Diwali signifies the triumph of good over bad. However, this year was an exception, for the world witnessed the release of four films, each of which was as good as Kris Srikkanth's Hindi.

Sivakasi : A film that must definitely be watched first day, first show, so that you can warn all your buddies at the earliest.

Majaa : One that had a director bold enough to make a movie without any story and fail.

Bambara Kannaley : With Srikanth in the lead, I was sure that the nearest theatre I had to visit would be 50 km away from my place. So skipped it, but ofcourse, the movie is bad.

Chidambarathil One Appasaamy : That was released worldwide on Jaya TV for dhrishti purposes.

Read Review . . .


Let us focus on the two main movies alone - Sivakasi and Maja. Both moviemakers made sure that once the movie started, all passages were sealed and screams of 'LET ME OUT' were not heard outside.

Sivakasai, as the trailor claims, has Ilayathalapathy Vijay in the most versatile role of 2005. Considering the greased banian and unbuttoned shirt that Vijay has been wearing since 2002, he walks away with the most 'versatile' actor award for the fourth consecutive year. He has played a variety of roles including five appearences as a mechanic cum rowdy, two as a car cleaner cum rowdy, seven as a workshop/welding shop owner cum rowdy and ten appearences as just a rowdy. The role did suit Vijay's mass image a lot.

When Vikram does an offbeat film, jintak colour dhothi (dubai dress) and a rolled handkerchief form an integral part of his costume. This film is no exception. Vikram does his role well but every other dialogue of his is punctuated by 'Majaa da' (Numerology stuff eh?) for some unknown reason.

Asin is a babe and it's only possible for a dumbo to make her look less pretty. Perarasu does the job well. She has chosen both her roles with utmost care, keeping up her word ("I first see the script, my part in it and then the director while choosing my roles"). Her roles proved to be the 'teRning point' in the movie. Sooperabbu. They were as important as elephant sh*t.

Story and Screenplay stuff
Sivakasi is an outright masala film. There is a Pallakku Pandi who simply comes all the way from jail, shows his rear to Vijay and gets kicked. Next scene Vijay tells Asin that she is roaming around with just her undergarments in front of a hundred people. Asin is totally elated that he found out and also let the world know about it and falls in love with him. Vijay tells her now that he'll love her only if she sleeps with him. Asin is elated again and informs her brothers that they can find her at Vijay's house, just in case. Vijay feels very bad. He goes and beats up Asin's dad when Asin is missing. Now dad is elated with this quality of Vijay and urges Asin to marry him. Her brother's come and talk to Vijay and he hits them. Vijay is elated. So throughout the movie, everybody is elated, except the audience. Nobody, including Perarasu, knows how Sivakasi is going to behave in a scene. It's something like a split personality. Versatile role...yeah, makes sense now.

Majaa. A commission has been set up by the Film Institute of India to find the story in this film. More on it after the results are out.

Both directors have been really bold. Shafi has been bold enough to take a movie without any story and Perarasu has been bold enough to show his face on screen.

Perarasu deserves a pat on the back for not choosing a seperate comedy track for his movie. There is enough scope for the audience to laugh at any scene. The director has mastered the art of evoking laughter even in the really serious scenes, something that has till date only been achieved by Captain Vijaykant. Honestly, I've always believed that Vijay had a knack for comedy and he does well as expected.

Majaa is meant to be a full-length comedy film and it did will to a certain extent. Vadivelu and Pasupathy steal the show. It is definitely good timepass to watch them on screen. This is one of the positives of Majaa.

No song worth mentioning in both films. I felt "Iyarettu Naattu Kattai" from Majaa was kinda catchy, but nothing exceptional. Asin was the only reason I stayed in my seat.

I observe Vijay has recently been wearing dresses that were once used by our beloved Ramarajan (the king is making a come back. He is playing a cop in 'Dharman'. For the first time in Indian cinema, a cop wears a pink shirt and green pant. Releases next year I guess), accompanied by a Marilyn Monroe wig. Being an excellent dancer himself, I don't understand the efforts to make him appear funky. It doesn't suit him. I'll be glad to watch him in songs like "Thaamthakka Theemthakka" that does complete justice to his potential.

Perarasu is a great inspiration to lyricists. Many now have the feeling of, "ivaney ezhutharaaney, namma ezhuthina enna?"

The positive aspect of Sivakasi is the racy second half that tends to give an impression that the film was ok. The second half did not bore people to death. It was rather lively as compared to the first half and had lots of action. I fully understand that the movie was made with Vijay's fans in mind. But I am sure they are sane people too who can tolerate stuff only till a limit. This was stretching things a bit too far. And I hope Vijay doesn't become stale this early in his career. He still has a long way to go.

Majaa is definitely a good timepass. Better than Sivakasi, I feel coz I did not feel the movie drag me to death. Instead, it had enough ingredients to make you laugh and forget that there is no actual story in the movie. If you think back, however, it'll make you feel it was no better than Sivakasi, but bad in its own ways.

Without using a technical yardstick for measurement . . .

Sivakasi : Pathetic first half. Ok second half. Kills your time.

Majaa : Ok timepass.

With incessant rains and floods preventing people from going to the theater to undergo torture, a month after Diwali we can celebrate the triumph of good over bad.

An SMS which my friend recieved . . .
Baby mosquito : Mom I am going to the theater.
Mother mosquito : Take care dear. People will clap hands, its risky.
Baby mosquito : Don't worry mummy, am just going for Sivakasi.

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Friday, December 02, 2005

I've changed it finally

Phew! The black, which made most of you guys' eyes Captain red with irritation is finally gone. Though I liked my old template a lot, it doesn't matter coz I've obviously never read what I blogged

Grey does give a dull look, but I am going to be terribly reluctant to take this template off simply coz I worked on it for two full days. Yes, two days, sacrificing all the mega serials on TV. Gosh, 'Kolangal' Abi would have helped ten new people solve their problems in these two days, while she herself is soathukku singi adichufying. And auspicious days like Friday will have atleast one death scene. I missed it all for just this! So it's going to be really heartbreaking for me to take this one off. I'll probably need to write to 'Selvi' Radhika's Ananda Vikatan Q & A, looking for solace, under such circumstances!! However, if it's truly pathetic, do let me know.

Do report bugs. I found this template cute on Mozilla, 1024 x 768. Bill Gates deserves a stick on the back for IE . The collapsible lists on the left seemed compatible with both browsers though.

So, is this thing good enough? Do you guys find any glaring mistake in usability? Any suggestions to spice up the template?

Cushtomer feedback required!!

Since the title banner seems odd and too heavy to you guys, pick between this and this.