Saturday, April 01, 2006

Awards, pudhusu kanna pudhusu!

With elections around the corner, MUMMY is taking full fledged action to please the people, section by section, strategically. Last month, the list of Kalaimamani awardees were announced, which featured everybody including Kalai's uncle, who was given a numerologically modified "Kalai Mama Nee" award. As the next step, relaible sources of pravunplugged confirm that MUMMY would be naming awards after prominent people for their contribution to the country. This exclusive report elaborates on the details.

Henceforth, the best actor would be given the 'Statue of Bulty' award to celebrate the historic nuclear deal which provided all the nuclear fuel that India needed to accomplish tasks which are no more harmful than aani pudungifying. [Pravunplugged comments : Honestly, we don't require nuclear fuel as long we have Aalo Parathas, but it is upto the government to realise.]

The best actress each year would get the 'Urgent Bathroom, Hence I Resign Gandhi' award since it is widely appreciated to name stuff after members of the Gandhi family. [Pravunplugged comments : Matter movie actresses viz. Bollywood heroines and people who hold similar offices of profit must be exempt from the category]

'Arey Haan Ji' award would be given to the best Music Director, who would be selected on the basis of their originality. This highly controversial stipulation rules out the Anu Malik and Deva families for their next seven generations. [Pravunplugged comments : Harris Jeyaraj must be given special consideration for his inclination towards the language of the Australian aboriginal's, who incidentally speak no known language and are infact non-existent in the first place]

Next on line is the 'Karumai Nira Kannan' award which honours the person with the most romantic expression in films which may include the rolling of the tongue and a romantic bite of one's own karugi pona lips, a naughty pinch on the hips, bambaram spinning etc. [Pravunplugged comments : Black Cat secoority must be provided to the affected heroine since the after effects can be deadly]

The best newcomer receives the 'Kokkara Kozhi Raasathi' award, which is a special category applicable to both the male and female gender. The award is to honour Top Star Prashanth, who has acted in 17 films in the last one year alone, fortunately none of which have been released. [Pravunplugged comments : Prashanth must stop acti..err...doing films]

The next award, the 'Sokkai Podaatha Swapna Sundari' award, is to encourage youngsters, who may have may not have talent but possess a lotsa other things which are vital in nature, to come up and show the world what they have got. [Pravunplugged comments: I volunteer myself to be the umpire at the next WTA tour, without salary and other perks]

To instill team spirit into the youngsters, MUMMY is also giving away a special 'Namma Ooru Paanjaali' award, which highlights the values of working together inspite of age barriers, ego clashes, salary issues and two extremely ugly faces. [Pravunplugged comments : Indha kodumai-ku Namitha nadicha matter padamey thevala]

The 'Kolangal Loosu Abi' award is for those people who possess a strong belief that a pinju pona Pondy Bazar handbag always holds enough money to help those in need, in short, it is for the mentally challenged. [Pravunplugged comments : A strong contender for this award is Saritha, who boldy and stupidly, agreed to wear TShirts in June R]

The last, but the most prestigious award is to kindle the scientific brains to come up with answers for baffling questions like - 'TR moonjila mudi molachu irukka, illa TR mudi-ku nadoola moonji molachu irukka' and 'How Simbhu missed the evolutionary process'. It will be known as the 'Karadu Kutti Veerasamy' award. [Pravunplugged comments : No comments!]

Disclaimer : If you really did believe all this crap, well, Happy Birthday!

Labels: , , , ,

Old Commenting System: