Thursday, January 19, 2006

Myth : Marana Mokkai

I strongly recommend the latest Jackie Chan flick Myth to all you guys. I do not wish to be the only person who spent sixty bucks on a movie whose script was written on toilet paper. So, before you read the review, swear on god that you'd watch it and spread word so that 'we' don't feel left out!

Read Review . . .

Jackie Chan films, with their blend of action and comedy, are usually a good timepass. This, coupled with the thought of Mallika Sharawat in clothing that would easily pass as a shoe lace, was compelling enough for a group of guys to watch the movie. But the moment we saw Jackie Chan on screen, dressed in a warrior costume that even Ramarajan would think twice before touching, we knew Mallika and her shoe lace were going to be the saving grace of the film.

Jackie Chan plays the role of an archeologist who has weird dreams of rescuing a Chineese princess. I am not sure what his name in the film was, but after having watched loads of his movies I can make a sensible guess that it was Jack or Lee or Ch_n, where _ represents a vowel. For the sake of my typing comfort I'll assume it was Lee. As I was saying, Lee rescues the princess with his heroic efforts in his dreamworld. There is a great scene in which Lee ties a falling carriage to his waist with a rope and tries to pull it back to save the princess. The princess could have just stepped down from the carriage, but she doesn not, since she is bound by the Imperial Decree. By the Imperial Decree, a Chineese princess must not get out of her carriage. By the Imperial Decree, she must not touch a General. By the Imperial Decree, she is dumb.

Lee is extremely disturbed by these dreams. Understandably so, coz they get to live in a dark cave and nothing fruitful has happened yet. So, he puts in extra hours of sleep and tries his best, but no use as yet. Probably the perfectly dumb Chineese princess doesn't know 'how to', he thinks, and tries sleeping again. No use. The princess was indeed perfect.

Now Lee is approached by his friend who was doing some research in levitation and he wanted some help on it. But Lee wouldn't budge. He just wants to sleep and keep trying. The friend manages to lure Lee into it with sentimental stuff that's characteristic of Tamil cinema. He lies face down on a golf course with the golf ball on his rear and says to Lee, "I will trust you with my life, please come". Lee is terribly touched by this statement and takes his shot. The screen blacks out. "Lee, am glad I did not lie face up", says the friend. So Lee and his friend go to India for their research where they see this temple in which a Sadhu floats in the air. The friend does something stupid in the temple (no, he's not a Chineese princess), digs out some weird stone and the Sadhu gets a free trip to heaven. The friend escapes in a helicopter while Lee jumps into the water.

Mallika and her elephant, Lakshmi, rescue Lee from the water. "Look Lakshmi, a body", screamed Mallika. I did not care to look at Lee's body (I am not a Chineese princess). So I don't know how exactly he was rescued, but he was. "Good boy Lakshmi", said Mallika patting the elephant. I knew deep inside how stupid the director was to refer to Lakshmi as a boy. But with Mallika in a wet saree, I wouldn complain even if Lakshmi ate Butter Naan and Paneer Butter Masala.

Lee's dream was not succesful as yet. He wakes up to find Mallika dancing in some skimpy white clothing and decides the dumb Chineese princess can wait. Mallika takes Lee to a sottai mandayan whose words are just not as plain as his head. Lee and Mallika suddenly spot two policemen and utilise the opportunity to run away from the sottai mandayan. There is a small fight sequence in which Mallika breaks the myth (padam paeru mention panniyaachu, ellam kai thattunga!) that she wears undergarments. The censor board official probably sneezed at the right moment and missed what I saw, but am glad he sneezed. Lee then takes this circular boat that is used in paasathukkuriya Bharatiraja films and travels all the way to China.

The dreams continue but the sequence then shifts to a battlefield in which the soldiers wore costumes that were used in Paalayathu Amman veppalai dance. I don't know what the battle was for, but they ought to have realised that they were probably using stuff which Mallika was supposed to wear. Lee dies at the end of the battle. An anticlimax.

Lee decides to find the princess and goes searching along with his friend. They reach a cave finally. Lee loathed being there, for he remembered his dream in which a dumb princess had outsmarted him. A bit further, they see a masouleum and a huge army of dead soldiers lined up in rows, levitated by the meteorite stone. A dead army? I realised now that there was no point blaming the princess. It was genetic.

Lee wants to take the princess back home. She had afterall told him that she'd wait for him all her life. But she refuses to come. So, Lee decides to make his move right away and starts stripping. This was expected. Just as Vijaya T.R compulsarily has a sister in all his movies, Jackie Chan includes two standard scenes in his movies - One, his underwear has a smiley or a teddy bear placed at a strategic position. Two, darshan of his rear. Thumbprint is common, but bumprint is used only by Jackie Chan. Chineese people have infact seen it so many times that they are capable of identifying Jackie Chan just by looking at it. So, as I was saying, Lee strips. His friend nondifies a meteorite yet again and everything that was up, now begins to fall! Lee curses him and is forced to run for his life. The cave collapses and the audience applaud in joy that the film is finally over.

Jackie Chan, who is known for his bravery, proves it yet again by investing millions of dollars in this film. He has fought really well in the film, but the audience fought a greater fight trying to remain seated.

Ippadi oru mattamaana padatha idhu varaikkum yaarum eduthathu illai, inimaelum yaaralum edukka mudiyaathu! Indha maadhiri mokkai padatha vechundu enga thalaivar Captain-oda Perarasu release panna theater illaya?? Thookungada indha padatha!

PS : Maramando Part II next post-la puttings :)

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