Thursday, January 05, 2012

2011 - Year in Mokkais

Yo boys. I am write blog. Mokka blog.

As I write this, India is mukking in Aus. 11 paeru. Moochu thenara thenara adikkaranunga. Mokka start to 2012. Mokka ending also predicted by Mayans. Gods are probably talking about it.

Shiva: Dei Vishnu
Vishnu: Yes mama
Shiva: I am only destroyer no?
Vishnu: Yes mama
Shiva: Then why you need Kalki avatharam? Sit simply.
Vishnu: 10 is very round number da. They took movie also with that name. So I will wonly take off da.
Shiva: Ok po, when you are taking da?
Vishnu: This year only, I think.
Shiva: What?? This year-a? Have you taken birth and all?
Vishnu: Yes da
Shiva: Adapaavi. Who?
Vishnu: Sachin da. People also know. They call me God.
Shiva: Semma. Destroy off today then. Very tiring, this job.
Vishnu: Pls machi. Innum orey oru century adichuttu...
Shiva: Aiyo, bleddy fellow, what is it with you and round numbers? I give you till end of year ok? If not I will destroy off.
Vishnu: Nanbaen da!

Ok mama. Now tune change-u. Small size mokkais about last year-u. Mostly english-u.

Ready. 1 .. 2 .. 3 .. 4 .. !

Gautham Menon released Nadunisi Naaigal without any BGM. Also without any story, screenplay and direction.

Captain caused confusion after a newspaper quoted him as saying, "Raja sould be arrusted for causing loss to the eggs checker". He supposedly meant exchequer.

Raja was arrested and sent to Tihar. Took offence when the jailor tried to console him saying, "(h)otha hai".

Animal Planet acquired 50% stake in Kural TV. TR released the Afro music that has since been scientifically proven to turn on a female hippopotamus.

India won the cricket world cup after 28 years. Indians were overjoyed that there will be no more Hindi interviews of Kris Srikkanth describing the catch which Kapil pakda for Richards out karne ka.

Sachin was spotted outside TASMAC with RC & water packet after he overheard Sreesanth speaking to his mom, "Enda amme, totally rendu world cup medal kitti"

Kalmadi was asked to organize the Common Wealth Games, and was arrested for taking it in the literal sense.

Before killing Osama, the NAVY SEALS asked him, 'Do you have a last wish you mother f*****?' He replied, 'Yes, kill me before RA.One is released'.

Jaya became CM. Praised Anna naamam & MGR naamam. Iyengars confused.

Inflation was a major issue. Especially for Thala Ajith.

When asked if he does any homework to practice his expressions, Cheran revealed that he does not go two bathroom during the entire shooting schedule.

Kalimozhi sent to Tihar. A visibly happy Raja called the jailor and told him, "(h)otha hai".

Jaya wrote 18923 letters to PM in 3 months. Not sure if they contained 'Will you have fraanship with me?' messages.

Amar Singh tried out phone sex. There was a leak and the world came to know. Pun unintended.

Farmers in UP protested that they could not live on Rs.32/day if Rahul Gandhi ate their dinner every night.

Vaughan suspected that Laxman used vaseline on his bat. Could be true or false depending on what bat he was talking about.

Troubled by Suriya's constant thoppai exposure, people suggested that BCCI send him on overseas tours to provide a flat track.

Tamil cinema got a vidi velli - Power Star Dr.Srinivsasan. He looks like shaving panna TR, that is, some one who justu missed two million years of evolootion.

There was an all India meeting to discuss why Prashanth was still acting in movies.

Gayle to WICB, "Guys, I am finally in awesome form, lets become great team!" WICB to Gayle, "Fack, you are dropped!"

Jaya announced that 250 public toilets opened by DMK will be converted to Urine Test Labs for the poor.

RA.One released. Manmohan speechless.

Sagarika Ghose conducted a interview with BabyB minutes before it was born. Later clarified that uterus cam and all was a technical glitch.

Burkha Dutt stuffed a mic in BabyB's mouth and asked how it felt. Later apologised for being naive.

Arnab Goswami questioned BabyB over the telephone and also answered on its behalf. BabyB cried and hung up.

Undiscolosed sources revealed that BabyB is currently taller than Suriya by a few inches.

Indian Kabbadi world champion team goes back home by rickshaw. Govt confessed that they were unaware of the event and thought it was Ghilli climax scene shooting for a Hindi remake.

10 Indians applied for Pakistan citizenship after they were harassed by the "Every Indian must read this" messages on Facebook.

Google search for "Vidya Balan hot" used to return images of her with an iron box. Naseeruddin Shah replaced the iron box.

Vidya Balan went to skin doctor for some treatment. Doctor told, 'It's ok ma, no need to show, yesterday only I saw in night show'.

Every one who has completed saralivarisai came up with a Kolaveri video.

Sharad Pawar slapped hard. Doctors confirm that it is a medical miracle that his face is still distorted.

TR danced topless in African forest. The term 'flash mob' was coined.

Godrej agreed to sponsor a saavi koththu for STR's kaakavalippu problem after seeing his love anthem.

Poonam Pandey offered to strip if Sachin scored his 100th ton. Sachin said, 'Podi Pandey', and later admitted to making a typo while speaking.

Kapil Sibal wanted Facebook to hire people to manually read through every single update posted. Somebody needs to tell him that all IT employees do this only.

PM visited Chennai to accept Jaya's fraanship request and collect any letters that have not been posted yet.

Captain was arrested for waving a black flag when PM visited Chennai. He was released after he clarified that he was actually drying his komanam.

After finding out that Power Star Dr.Srinivsan is in Chennai, Thane puyal thaane diverted itself to Cudallore.

Jodhida Megamani Lion K.Paarangal told Sachin that Sani is vakram-ly looking at him after peyarchi. So he has suggested that Sachin ethify nei vilakku in nearest Sani temple, and write 'Sachin 99+1' with kari on the wall.

Anna Hazare went without food for several days for a Lokpal Bill. Hence became the #2 Googled person in India, behind only Katrina Kaif, who released Chikni Chameli.

Poonam Pandey announced that she will strip for the New Year bash. Kapil Sibal confirms that she has nothing significant to censor.


Happy New Year! =)

PS: Don't make resolution and all this year. Ulagam azhiya poguthu. Open the bottle!

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