Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Love All

Scene 1 - Marina Beach, Time : 7.00 P.M.

Romeo and Juliet enjoying their French kiss, sitting on the magnificent stretch of sand. Majnu lying down on Laila's lap and straining to catch a glimpse of his sweetheart's face! Jack and Rose entangled in an inseperable hug for several minutes.

Scene 2 - Bus No. 21G, Time : 7.00 P.M.

A dubukku fellow with his attu-figure girlfriend sitting side by side in a rather empty bus. She lies down on his lap, he bends down and kisses her. She follows suit sooner than expected. He feeds her a bun and takes a bite himself, pinches her cheeks and leans on her shoulders.

Tamil Cinema Rape Scene

Mind you, I have put down a censored version! I am still not sure if watched just the A rated parts of probably XX rated scenes. Such things happen because people have not understood what true love is all about. There are a set of cinema defined symptoms which are blindly believed to indicate that a person is in love. These myths need to be done away with first.

For one, if you are sleepy but not able to sleep, then its not necessarily a love bug thats bitten you. A mosquito bite can have similar effects too. So get a good mosquito repellant and most importantly, take bath. We have a tropical climate and for all you know it may be your own stink that's disturbing your sleep.

Secondly, if you are hungry and not able to eat, sarakku adichuttu padu!

Third, if you get the feeling that there are a thousand butterflies flying in your stomach, it may be indigestion. Eat Gelusil, a couple of bananas and ease yourself in the morning.

Fourth, if you are ready to cut your veins to prove your love, it by no means suggest how deeply you are in love. You can just call yourself an "arivu ketta moodhevi".

Fifth, if your mom/dad burns your love's photo and you mix it in your drink...you will have this thousand butterflies in your stomach feeling. You know what you need to do.

Finally, if you always have thoughts running in your mind only about that girl/boy, get yourself a job. Highways-la bommai vithaalum ok.

Beyond all this, if you still have the feeling of oneness, then there is a slight chance that you are in love. If you just are not able to do anything in front of that girl, then you have found your match. You are doomed for the rest of your life.

Those who wander about in beaches and parks expressing their love physically would be in one of the six categories. The light anaicha kavunthu padu group. I wonder what prevents them from having certain basic decency in public places. They need to be taught a lesson somehow. I was urging my friend, during the bus journey, that we go sit behing them and clap/laugh loud whenever something happens. But that idiot was afraid! Just in case any of you spot something similar, try the following...
  • Clap every time kisses or hugs are exchanged.
  • Count loudly, the number of kisses.
  • Moan when they get closer.
  • Try saying this aloud, "Hey, andha bit padathula vara maadhiriye illa?"
  • Seat yourself in front of them, turn back, keep your hands on your cheeks and stare, preferably at the girl.
If they still don't move away, its better you do, to save yourself some respect :-)

Err...actually you know what struck me first when I saw these scenes? Aiyo, en pondaatti ippadi irukka koodathey. Yup, I was thinking what IF my wife is one among this group?? :-( I have been praying ever since that she isn'nt. Please join me for the prayer guys, please!!!!


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