Monday, September 19, 2005

Kaun Banega Lakshmipathi

Blogosphere's 'hottest' ever game show!!

Hosted by Algitab Periyavan.

What is Kaun Banega Lakshmipati?
It's this big game show produced by Buddharth Basu with big prizes!

What do the winners get?
The winner gets to marry Lakshmi and thereby he becomes Lakshmi'pathi'. He/she may also choose any other equivalent prize like a free trip to hell, sitting next to SRK* in the bathtub etc etc.

Lakshmi? That Tamil Cine actress??
No no, not her. She got married only last month.

Adhu pona mosam. Am talking about this month...!
That's not possible. She exceeded the bound for number of legal marriages allowed. The IPC Section 969 does not permit more than 1,28,765 marriages in a calendar year.

So how do we enter the contest?
Every show will have ten participants who play the Biggest Tongue First challenge. The person with the longest tongue will move to the hot seat. To be fair to both genders, 99 cm will be subtracted from a woman's tongue length since they exceed the average tongue length of men by approximately that amount.

Hot seat? What's that?
That's where you'll sit and play the game in front of Algitab Periyavan. This one.

Oh! How long should we sit on it?
Till you win the game. That'd be five questions to answer correctly.

What do I win at each stage?
Initially the hot seat will be seat to 10,000 celsius. As you answer correctly the temperature will reduce to 5000, 2500, 1000, 500 and finally 0. That's when you'll complete the game and become a Lakshmipathi.

What if I answer wrong?
You will be made to run in the sun or in Chennai like Mudhalvan Arjun.

That's worse!! Do I get any help inbetween?
You have four lifelines to help you. 50:50, audience poll, phone a paradesi and flip.

What is 50:50?
The number of options to choose from will be halved and the temperature of the hotseat will be doubled by using this life line.

Oh!! What is audience poll?
You can ask the audience for help. But take care to ask questions which are only as tough as "What is Rishi Kapoor's surname?". Anything other than that is beyond the scope of the audience.

And what's Phone a Paradesi?
You can use this to call up your equally dumb friend and take his help. You have thirty seconds to read out your question. After that the line will get cut.

What about flip?
By using this lifeline you can change your question and at the same time flip your hotseat to sit more comfortably with the burner facing down.

What if I win and Lakshmi refuses to marry me after I win?
You will win one year free supply of Burnol to take care of your affected areas.

What if I don't make it to the hot seat?
Then you won't need Burnol.

No, I mean what do I get if I don't make it to the hot seat?
A cool butt.

I mean isn't there a Har Seat Hot Seat contest?
Oh that . . . you can play along with the participant using your computer. If you get the most questions right, you will get a chance to stand up and wave to the crowd.

And after that?
You have to sit down.

Isn't there any money involved?
Yeah, you can get as much as 2 crore rupees.

Hey that's cool. How?
Robbing a bank perhaps. You get 1 year imprisonment free with this scheme. Or google ad amukki this beggar boy-a panakkaram aakkalam. Please do the needful

So who all can play KBL?
Anybody who has watched Algitab Periyavan movies, refused to go to school during his/her childhood and has atleast nineteen such experiences to share during the show.

Disclaimer : Applying Burnol is the sole responsibility of the contestant and any such requests shall not be entertained.

Note : Guys, do you think this is good enough to be a series? If so, who do you want to see as the participant? If not, you may still say a few bad words in the comment box :-)

*SRK = Shahrukh Khan and NOT Sudhish

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