Wednesday, October 26, 2005

God save us

Warning : This is purely for fun. If you want to scold me for this, manasukkullaye thittikavum :-)

Natural disasters have become commonplace these days with mother nature spitting her rage all over the globe. Even the most developed countries have not been able to cope up with the destruction. So what's causing all this? What do we do? These are questions that are ringing in everybodys mind.

Starting from December 26, when Nayanthara tripped and fell flat during a song sequence in Chandramukhi, the world has witnessed massive earthquakes including the huge aftershocks caused during the picturisation chase sequences in Gajini. The only present incident, it seems, which occurs at a higher frequency than an earthquake is the Supreme Court condemning Buta Singh for his active role in violating the rules regularly, to facilitate which the Government is thinking of passing an ammendment act to add an appendix section to the constitution. When Vaasthu Lion Dr.S.Naagapaambu was consulted regarding this, he said that a quake would not have occured in Pakistan if Pakistan was near Madagscar - it's correct position according to Vaasthu principles. Indian Railway Minister Laloo Prasad Yadav mocked at the statement and in an attempt to tackle the issue scientifically, ordered relief material consisting of 1000 barrels of lubricating oil and 10,00,00,000 ball bearings to be sent to Pakistan in an attempt to smoothen the motion of the tectonic plates.
Pravunplugged predictions : With Nayanthara doing an item number in Sivakasi, people in Pakistan better be prepared for some aftershocks starting Nov.1

There was a time when people in Tamil Nadu did not know what water was. The recent floods in the state could be ascribed only to Asin in Gajini - proof that not just humans, even god drooled at her, and to a great extent at that. The meteorological department, with its extremely reliable forecasting techniques like 'the throw of a die' and 'picking up a tarot card', says that heavy rain are expected over the next 48 hours because of a kaatrazhuthu thaazhvu mandalam. Thanks to them, the rains have stopped and the situation is now under control. The only forecast which the department is good at is - "Vaanam or alavu mega mootathudan kaana padum". Obviously, sky-na clouds irukka dhaan seyyum. National Students Asspciations (NSA) chairman Mr. Sathyaraj has requested all his student friends to swing in to relief operations. When asked if he would join the students in the relief operations, he says, "I have to do some math homework. The teacher has asked me to find out my age, and am still counting. I have to give her the answer by this week, so I'll be a bit busy". The Seceretary of the NSA, Mr.Chinni Jayanth was not available for comment.
Pravunplugged predictions : With Asin going to Kerala to celebrate her birthday today, heavy showers are likely in Kerala and Karnataka.

Katrina, Rita and Wilma - three major hurricanes that have battered America. Nameology expert Ms. Anamika says that all the havoc caused is because of careless naming. She says the hurricanes are in such a hurry because they have been named hurri-cane : 8 distinct letters and hence bad luck. "Naming it Sorikayne would solve the problem", she says. On the other hand, hemology expert Mr.Paarangal has adviced Mr. George Bush to wear a Navaratna ring, which he claims would put an end to America's miseries. The Americans are however taking a more scientific approach to solve the problem. In a move to divert the hurricanes, they have requested Padmashree Dr.Kamal Hasan to come to Florida. The experts say, "Since the hurricanes are given names of sexy women, we expect them to stay away from Mr. Kamal"
Pravunplugged predictions : Paavam hurricane!

According to Mr. Nambatheengal Madayan, disasters of such magnitude occur when Jupiter is in the 9th house, Saturn in the 8th house and Buta Singh in government house without paying proper rent. Mr. Madayan welcomes the move of the Supreme Court to move Bhuta Singh out of the government quarters. He says the disasters would reduce a great deal after this. "But ultimately, things are in the hands of god, we need another avatar of god to save the world", he says.

May be we already have that incarnation?

click to enlarge

PS : Maybe its not a nice time to wish my galfriend a happy birthday. But what the heck, she is my galfriend and so.....Happy Birthday Asin!! :-)

Note : On a more serious note, I guess we seriously need to pray to end such disasters. Too many this year! Started on Dec 26 2004, the day I started this blog!

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