Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Rejection Dejection

Report from the U.S. Government
After denial of visa to Narendra Modi, we have noticed that terrorism has been curbed to a great extent. Osama, who called up last night from Bunker No. 49, informed us that he is extremely pleased with U.S. action towards anti-Islamic nations. Observing the positive developments, in the best interest of world peace, we are hereby cancelling the visas of Manmohan Singh, Vajpayee, Laloo Prasad, Kris Srikkanth, Vijaykanth, T.Rajendar, and Subramania Swamy.

The reactions... (from todays news)

Interviewer : Manmohan-ji, what do you feel about this decision? What do you think is the reason behind this? What impact is it going to have on the country's repute? What is India going to do about it?
Manmohan : I welcome it. I feel Musharraf's mother has played a vital role in this, I would like to thank her. India's power has thus been made evident on the global front, thanks to Congress government. The Indian Government will make sure that Musharraf gets prime seats and pop-corns while watching the match and will take care to ensure that he is comfortable.

Interviewer : Ji, I was asking you about you the U.S. decision to cancel visas of many important Indians.
Manmohan : Baap re baap, is this true? How come Sonia ji never told me about this? I am sorry, I will be right back.

Manmohan (to Sonia) : Arey Sonia ji, you have given me the wrong piece of paper to memorise from, these people are here to ask me about some U.S. decision. They say visa cards are no longer valid in the U.S. Can I please apply for a Masters Card, please Sonia ji?

Interviewer : What are your thoughts on this Vajpayee ji?
Vajpayee : Is desh mein ganga *looks around for 7 seconds* behthi hai. Bharath desh mein *looks around for 12 seconds* kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi. *looks around for 6 seconds* The people *looks around for 2 3 seconds* of India *looks around for 29 seconds* are by no means *looks around for 4 seconds* lesser *looks around for 7 seconds*.......

Interviewer : Due to shortage of video tapes, were winding up here folks. We assume that Mr. Vajpayee is not taking this lightly. We will continue live telecast of this event tommorow at the same time. Mr. Vajpayee should have reached the conclusion part by then, hopefully. Thank you folks. Good night.

Interviewer : Does this disappoint you Laloo ji?
Laloo : Yes. I very disappoint. Doctor tell me I have mad cow dijeej.
Interviewer : Not that Laloo ji. Do you know the U.S. has denied your visa?
Laloo : How they can? I influence high in Buffalo region. Train and bus no run in bufallo tommorow.
Interviewer : How is that possible Laloo ji?
Laloo : I cowboy they cowboy. Cowboy to cowboy good relason. They protest for Laloo. I give fodder to Buffalo, buffalo faithful.

Interviewer : Are you worried about this Mr. Srikkanth?
Srikkanth : Arey, yeh kya. Life mey yeh subkuch bilkul hotha hai aur teek hai. Apnae influence use karke mey isko nothing kar dhoonga.
Interviewer : What would you do sir?
Srikkanth : Sirf natural game khelna. U.S. ke beech mey time spend karthi aur green card paathi.
Interviewer : Paathi?
Srikkanth : Hamarey gaaw mey "paathi" katti hee soar eat-they hai. Paathi kattinae se buthi aatha aur mere aatha kush hotha.

Interviewer : We will let you know what he meant pretty soon folks. We have sent it to Dan Brown to decode the message. If you know what he meant please SMS your answers to 7878. Thank you.

Interviewer : Your view Captain?
Vijaykanth : Dayavu seithu Damil-la kaelunga. Enakku aangilam pidikkathu. Aangilam namma podara pant maadhiri, aana thamizh namma podara underaayar maadhiri. Underaayar illama pant poda neenga enna Sooberman-a?
Interviewer : Neenga idhai pathi enna ninaikkareenga Captain?
Vijaykanth : India-la motham 157 U.S. embassy irukku. Adhula Damil Nadu-la mattum irukkara embassy-oda ennikkai 23. Idhula daily vara visa abblication 2378. Adhula rejet bannara abblications 1987. Indha 1987 abblications-um poda makkal selavu alikkara thogai 97,856. Aaga motham India-vukku oru naalaikku nastam 93,856 roobai. Adhaavadhu kitta thatta 2123 dollar. Idhunaala abblication rejet banna India yelai naadu aagum-nu U.S.-ku therinjuduchu. Adhaan abblication rejet pannaraanga. Dei George-u, indha ACF Ramana-va pathi unakku seriya dheriyaathu, we will meet, will meet, meet.

Interviewer : Sir, unga comments?
T.Rajendhar : Dei bushu, pannaraen da unna flush-u, enakku kodukka maattiya visa, idhukku unakkuenna tharanam fees-a, vida maataenda unna lesa!

Interviewer : Your reactions sir?
Subramania Swamy : Idho paarungo, enakku veecha kodukka maataen-nu sonnava enna nanna purinjukkathava. En pullaiyaandan America-vula irukaan. Thoappanaar-a paarkanum-nu aasai paataan. Adhaan naan anga pogaalamnu irundhaen. Amma Condoleeze Rice, unga paer-laye Rice-nu vechirukkael, Annapoorani-aana neengaley ippadi ellam seyyalama? Idhu ellam sitha kooda nanna illai.


Lets voice our views against the U.S. and stand up in potest as a nation like these people. Cheers :-)

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