Friday, April 08, 2005

Madonna, Pamela, Britney and J Lo

Now, I wouldn't be writing this blog if model exam lived up to its name and tested this, this or atleast this. Models - reminds me of babes walking down the ramp on FTV which I watch turning the sounds off. Who needs the music? You turn deaf when you watch such channels. *Those who watched it after every one in the house is asleep would nod in agreement!* Anyways, getting back, the excitement of the name is lost when it has this most stupid word in the dictinoary viz exams coupled with it.

These exams are supposed to prepare one for the semester, atleast thats what they say when they put it on the circular and on the notice board. But I pity the person who sends these circulars. "Students are requested to take the exams seriously", the staff reads out, and everybody bursts out laughing! How much he should feel like a jackass right? But when he doesn't learn from such mistakes and puts it on the circular every time, he deserves to be called a jackass. So the jackass sends this circular each time...

Model exams start on so and so date.
*appadi, half-a day machi!*

Students will not be allowed inside the hall after 9 a.m.
*who is dying to get in?*

Students will not be allowed to leave the hall before 11:30 a.m.
*chi naughty*

Students are requested to take the exams seriously.

That's how they prepare us for the model exams :-)

The 2+ hours in the exam hall helps to relax my mind. I get to suruttify A4 sheets and bring them back home. I reach home 4 hours early and thus get good sleep. I have lots of free time at my disposal which I put to maximum use with such vetti blogs and paining you people to read it!

I prepare for half an hour and spit what I know. Once I am in the hall, I am capable of giving a stiff competition to Saurav Ganguly by getting out earlier than he does, as jackass said, students will not be allowed to leave the hall before 11:30 a.m. So I read through all the questions and be happy with whatever strikes me...

What is software engineering?
*Implants @ Pamela?*

What is software testing?
*Tommy Lee and many others would know*

What is coupling?
*A game like Dikkilona and jalabalajangs*

What is an exception?
*Saurav Ganguly in the Indian team*

How do you handle it?
*Just bowl, it will take care of the rest*

What is a compiler, interpreter, parser and translator?
*One which compiles, interprets, parses and translates?*

What is Tomasulo's algorithm?
*A set of sequential steps given by Tomasulo*

What is a child class?
*Michael Jackson?*

Obviously those are just things which flashed in my mind. If I had those on paper, I would be a an ex-student of my stupid college. So I just take some important points and beat around the bush. Discussing the history, geography and economics of each of the points would ensure a big para. Just say the same thing again and again, but take care to say the right thing again and again :-) ... And I'll average better than Ganguly by the way, I'll surely be in double figures.

After answering the questions, the toughest part comes. You are dying to get out but you are not allowed to. We start the maaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmm screams at around 10:30 and get on her nerves first. She refuse to give us this piece if twine to tie the paper, that's how they manage to keep us inside the class. We are pretty smart for all that. We take an extra twine the previous day and keep it in our pockets :-) *Ain't my college filled with jackasses?* Some of these JAs (u should know what it means by now, or else call urself a JA! :P) tell us, "I won't collect your papers." *Who asked you to?* We'll leave it on the table and leave :-)

I hate it when these JAs try to act smart and snub the students. I wait for them to come to me, but nobody picks on me, my bad!

Why are you disturbing the class? Why don't you write something?
Finished ma'm.
How much have you written?
Three 16 marks and five 2 marks.
Idhu podhuma? So who will write the rest?
If I knew so much I would be in IIT, not here.

Once after completing the paper (by which I mean attempting 50 marks), I was too bugged and decided to draw a few sketches. I was lying down on the bench and drawing a few thingies on my question paper. Just got up to sit straight and there was somebody smiling by my side. It was sir, a nice guy, not a JA!

He : Ok pa, don't waste time, go watch the match!
Me : Thank you sir :-)

And off I went!!

I din try that technique again, instead I was messaging a few people from my exam hall.

*sigh* So much for model exams! :-)

P.S. : You know the Google Ad thingy on the right? It scans the content and puts up an ad. So a title like Pamela or Madonna would get better ads than a sober one like Model Exams. It also increase the chances of a click. That explains the title. He he :-)

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