Saniyan - Part 5

Read Part 4 here

Vandhi is thrown into the fire by Kambi. He starts jumping up and down in joy. Idhukku dhaan ivalo naal kashta pattaan. And indha oru scene kaaga Sharmila Tagore kitta recommendations panni Kambi-ku National Award vaangi kodukka naama ellam sincere effort edukkanum. Ok-va?

Saniyan Concluded...

Kambi is taken to psychiatrist Geyser.

Geyser : Eppadi irukeenga Kambi?
Kambi : Seri-a irundha inga varathukku naan enna loosa?
Geyser : ha ha ha.
Kambi : Edhukku sirikkara nee?
Geyser : Good joke.
Kambi : Naan serious-a sollaraen da vennai!
Geyser : Ok, ok relax.
Kambi : Varachey relaxed-a dhaan vandhaen, nee dhaan over-a tension pannara.
Geyser : Ippo namma session aaramikkalama?
Kambi : Ashes tour nadakkara effect-a kodukkara nee, oru iththu pona chakram suththum, adhu uththu paartha thalai valikkum, idhukku paeru session-a?
Geyser : Technical-a naanga appadi dhaan solluvom.
Kambi : Over-a pesina stethescope-aalaye adippaen. Doctor-a latchanama treatment-a start pannu nee, un technical yezhavu ellam thevai illai enakku.
Geyser : Ippo naama enna panna porom theriyuma?
Kambi : Un kooda enna da appa amma vilayaata vilayada mudiyum? Appove sonnaen lady doctor kitta kootittu ponga-nu, andha saniyan pudicha Vandhi-a paartha indha kannukku ellamey figure maadhiri dhaan theriyum.
Geyser : Naama ippo treatment-a start pannalama Mr. Kambi?
Kambi : Idhukku maelayum delay panna Saniyan-a vandhu seruppala adippaen, seekiram.
Geyser : Anga onnu suththuthu paarunga, adhai nalla uththu paarunga.
Kambi : Adhu enna Trisha kulikkara scene-a uththu paarka?
Geyser : Kelvi kaekkama paarunga Mr. Kambi. Relax. Ippo ungalukku thookam varuthu.
Kambi : Varaliye.
Geyser : Ippadi ellam pesa koodathu, varuthu-nu sollunga.
Kambi : Varuthu.
Geyser : That's good, ippo dhaan treatment velai seyyuthu.
Kambi : Dei arivuketta moodhevi doctor, enakku urgent-a varuthu da. Un onneykaalana treatment-ku idhu dhaan varuthu.
Geyser : Mr. Kambi, neenga ippo thoongiye aaganum, illaena kattai-aala adichu thoonga veppaen.

Kambi vera vazhi illama chu chu adakkindey thoonga poitaan.

Geyser : Ippoungalukku vayasu 2, ippo enna pannitu irukeenga?
Kambi : 2 vayasula enna koththanaar velai-a paarthuttu iruppaen, bommai vechuttu vilayaaditu irukkaen.
Geyser : Seri seri, ippo ungalukku vayasu 5, ippo enna pannreenga?
Kambi : UKG-la en pakkathula irukkara ponnu thodai pudichu killitu irukkaen.
Geyser : Andha vayasulaye ungalukku kaama unarchi jaasthiya?
Kambi : Yaen nee andha vayasula enna Pope aandavar-aava irundha? Mooditu adutha vayasukku po.
Geyser : Ippo ungalukku vayasu 10, ippo enna pannitu irukeenga?
Kambi : Papa poatta thaappa book padichuttu irukkaen. J.K. Bowling ezhuthina children's special book adhu.
Geyser : Ippo 12 vayasu, enna pannitu irukkeenga?
Kambi : First time Vandhi en veetukku vandha. Ava thalai mudi adjust pannarchae avala naan close-up la paarthaen.
Geyser : Appuram enna aachu?
Kambi : Moonu naal kulir joram. Veppalai adichu dhaan cure pannanga.
Geyser : Ippi 14 vayasu, enna pannitu irukeenga?
Kambi : Azhuthuttu irukkaen.
Geyser : Yaen?
Kambi : En akka, en akka.
Geyser : Unga akka-ku enna? Avunga romba buthisaali-a? Speech ellam kodupaangala?
Kambi : Chi bayangara makku ava. Speech koduppa kaekka aal dhaan irukkathu.
Geyser : Avunga enna pannanga?
Kambi : Enna azha vittutu Jothi theater-la padam paarka poita.
Geyser : Neenga enna paneenga?
Kambi : 18 patti rules padi avala cooum-la thalli kolai pannitaen.

Kambi athirchi-la wakes up in a fit and says "Ennikkumae enna yaarum madhichathu illa". Geyser goes and explains the incident to Kambi's mother.

Geyser : Unga payyanukku MPD.
Amma : Endha thoguthi?
Geyser : MP illa ma, MPD, mulitple personality disroder.
Amma : Ivanoda oru personality-ey ennala thaanga mudiyala, idhula indha naadhari avatharam vaera edukkutha, thodappakattai-aala rendu poatta seri aagidum.
Geyser : No no no, idhula avar enna pannaraar-nu avarukku theriyaathu.
Amma : Eppo seriya pogum?
Geyser : 1 vaaram aagalam, 1 maasam aagalam, yaen oru varusham kooda aagalam.
Amma : Eppo vaena seriyaagum-ngartha periya lord maadhiri sollariya nee? Indha yezhava solla dhaan 5 varusham MBBS padichiya nee?
Geyser : Naan ippo dhaan Vendhan's All Pass tutorial vazhiya 10th std pass panna try pannitu irukkaen.
Amma : Ada paavi, Geyser Poly Clinic-nu nenachu board paarthu ulla vandhaen, adhu Geyser Poli Clinic-a?
Geyser : Aamam. Numerology padi Poli-a Poly-nu poattu irukkaen.
Amma : Pinna MBBS padichaen-nu sonniye?
Geyser : Padichaeney, MBS ellam LKG-laye padichuttaen.
Amma : Ada paavi, ippo en payyan-oda gathi?
Geyser : Bunker sir script padi inimae Homo vara maatan. Yaena Vandhi sethu poita.
Amma : Appo Saniyan?
Geyser : Adhu avana mathavanga madhicha dhaan undu. Unfortunately adhu not possible.

*Cut Scene*

Vivek and Prakash Raj Saneeswaran kovil-ku poi sight adichuttu irukaanga.

Vivek : Sir indha sevuthula paarunga, ennavo irukku.
Prakash Raj : Summa iru naan figure sight adichuttu irukkaen.
Vivek : Illa sir, edho kirukki irukku.
Prakash Raj : Saneeswaran kovil sevuru-la pinna Picasso painting-a irukkum. Disturb pannatha da naaye.
Vivek : Idhula seththu ponavanga paer ellam irukku. Enakku ennavo ivan dhaan-nu thonuthu.
Prakash Raj : Ivana eppadi pudikka?
Vivek : Idhu therinja naan yaen constable-a irukkaen?
Prakash Raj : Yosichu sollu, unakku promotion vaangi tharaen.
Vivek : Ungalukkey promotion-a vazhiya kaanum, idhula recommendation vaeraya?
Prakash Raj : Indha kai ezhuthu naan paarthirukkaen engayo.
Vivek : Enga sir?
Prakash Raj : Idhu un friend Kambi-oda kai ezhuthu?
Vivek : Eppadi sir avalo sure-a solreenga?
Prakash Raj : Bunker sir script-la dhaan ezhuthi irukkarey, idhu dhaan enakku clue-nu.
Vivek : Avan oru vethu vettu sir, avan panni irukka maataan.
Prakash Raj : Ennai enna sumba-nu nenachiya nee?
Vivek : Aamam.
Prakash Raj : Pannadai pannadai, un friend dhaan kolai pannathu, naan avana arrest panna poraen.
Vivek : Illa sir, Nehru Stadium-la first Kambi pesuvaan, appuram dhaan idhellam varum, script-a ozhunga padinga.
Prakash Raj : Bunker sir padam edutha azhagu paarthu impress aagi Heavychandran sir budget-a 26 crores-laenthu 26000 aakitaaru, Nehru stadium ellam book panna mudiyaathu, vaena un friend-a andha marathu adila pesa sollu.

*Scene cut*

Saniyan comes to the marathu adi. Moonji ellam paint adichuttu varaan.

Prakash Raj : Yaenda pichaikaaran Vandhi edutha maadhiri moonjila paint kotti irukka.
Saniyan : Maarvesham.
Prakash Raj : Idhu ellam enkitta sellathu, naan MS Paint-la rubber vechu un paint-a ellam azhichiduvan. Adhu podhum nee dhaan Kambi-nu prove pannarthukku.

Saniyan starts interacting with the crowd that has gathered there.

Saniyan : India yaen innum munnerala?
Crowd : Abdul Kalam porandha indha man-la unna maadhiri naadhari piranthathu naala dhaan.
Saniyan : Adhukku namma enna pannanum?

Crowd-laenthu oru person throws-a stone on Saniyan.

Saniyan : Ennai avamaana padutha neenga oru chinna kal-a unga kai-la eduthakkalam, idhaye naan oru periya paarangal-a thookki poatta adhu thappa?
*crowd claps*

Saniyan : Neenga ellam enna thappu panreenga theriyuma?
Man 1 : Avan un maela kal adikkanum-nu adikkama irukaan.
Man 2 : Avan azhugiya thakkali vechu, adhu un maela waste pannanuma yoschuttu irukkaan.
Man 3 : Avan muttai-a un maela adikkama Nagma thoppul-la omlette saapadnum-nu aasai padaraan.
Saniyan : Avan, avan, avan-nu solreengaley, neenga unga kadamai-a yaen seyyarthu illa? Neengalum omlette-ku yaen aasai padareenga?

Crowd-laenthu one person throws an egg on Saniyan. Crowd claps again.

Saniyan : Ennai yaen yaarum madhikka maataengreenga?
Crowd : Nee madhikka pada vaendiyavan illa da, midhikka pada vaendiyavan.

Crowd ellam Saniyan pakkathula odi, avana kolai panna try pannuthu. Aana Police ellam thaduthu Saniyan-a arrest pannidaraanga. Kambi-a court-la produce pannaranga dhandanai vaangi kodukka. Aana judge thalai-a sorinju paarthuttu onnum kodukkama muzhichuttu irukkaru. Kambi gavel-a eduthu judge mandai-la poattu kolai pannidaraan. So avan loose-nu decide panni avana Yervaadi-ku special treatment-ku anupparanga.

Idhu dhaan padathulaye highlight scene. Indha scene mattum illa-na, padam oru vaaram kooda odi irukkathu.

Geyser : Mr. Kambi relax.
Kambi : Innum indha dialogue-a maathavey illiya nee? Relax relax-nu solliye enna tension paduthara da nee.
Geyser : Chi vaaya moodu da kammanatti.
Saniyan : Kambi-a yaenda madhikka maataengara?
Kambi : Naan paavam.
Geyser : Rendu kural-la pesina bayanthiduvaena?
Saniyan : Kambi oru pullai poochi.
Geyser : Naan enna karapaanpoochi-na sonnaen?
Kambi : Achacho, enna indha edatha vittu veliya anuppidunga doctor, enakku bayama irukku.
Saniyan : Dei unakku dheiriyam irundha enna thittu da paarpom.
Geyser : $@#$%@#$^%$^#$^#$%$@$@#
Saniyan : Ennayum madhikkaliya nee, naan appo innoru personality-a split aaganum. Next meet pannaraen.

Adhukku appuram Saniyan varavey illa. Two years-ku Saniyan varaama irundha avana vidanum-nu andha seththu pona judge marana vaakkumoolam koduthuttu poitaaru. Adhunaala Kambi-a release pannidaraanga.

Amma : Enna da Kambi ippadi thuru pudichu poita...chi...thurumba elachu poita?
Kambi : Yervadi-la vaela velaikku special meals-a poduvaanga unakku?
Amma : Veetukku vaa, unakku nalla samachu podaraen.
Kambi : Ayyo naan Yervadi-kae poraen.

Thamizh cinema last scene-la indha maadhiri mokkai comedy panni andha frame-la irukkaravanga ellam sandhoshama sirippu varaama siripaanga. Namma padam commercial padam-a, adhaan andha element ellam saethirukkaen.

Amma and Kambi go back to Chennai from Yervadi. Appo train-la Kambi sees the Jothi theater projector boy...Kambi padam paarka porachey, bit saerkaatha andha projector boy. Kambi-ku romba naal kovam ivan maela. He is reading a matter book, "Saamiyaarin Kaama Leelaigal"

Kambi : Ladies ellam irukaanga, anga poi padingalaen.
Projector Boy : Nalla matter-aana scene, ippo poi ethics ellam pesi en kitternuthu seruppadi vaangaatha. Nee vaena vaera engayavathu po.
Kambi : Seri ma, namma anga polaam va.

Geyser calls up.

Geyser : Amma-va?
Amma : En kural kaetta unakku chithappa-na thonuthu?
Geyser : Oru mukkiyamaana matter.
Amma : Idhaye dhaan andha projector boy-um sonaan.
Geyser : Ennathu?
Amma : Anga oruthan matter book padichutu Kambi-a asingama thittitaan.
Geyser : Enna aachu?
Amma : Kambi-ku asinga padarthu enna pudhusa, moonji-a ettu oorukku thooki vechundu adutha cabin-ku kootindu vandhutaan.
Geyser : Appuram?
Amma : Dei doctor, naan enna inga Sindhbaadh kadhai-a sollitu irukkaen, avalo dhaan.
Geyser : Illa, Kambi Yervadi-laenthu escape aaga Saniyan varaama thaduthu iruppano-nu enakku doubt.
Amma : Adhu eppadi discharge panni 2 days-ku appuram unakku indha yezhavu ellam thonuthu?
Geyser : Vendhan All Pass course material-la ippo dhaan padichaen. Adhaan kaettaen.
Amma : Ellam seriya dhaan irukaan. Phone vei nee mudhal-la, roaming charges-la oasi pesitu irukkatha.

Amma cuts the call and finds Kambi missing. Thaedi thaedi paartha Kambi is standing near the train door. She goes and hugs Kambi.

Amma : Unakku edhuvum aagidala-la da kanna?
Kambi : Illaye.

Kambi pushes the projector boy out of the train and takes a book out from his pocket, "Saamiyaarin Kaama Leeliagal" and sirichuttae adha padikkaraan.

*BGM : Saniyan in Black*

The End

P.S. : Thanks to all for patiently reading through this HUGE series!! Hope u liked it. That ends the Saniyan series. I believe the last part was huge, sorry abt that! Wanted to be done with this to start off a new series. That will not be in this blogspace though. Suspense :-)

Am soooooo happy!!! :-)

Completed the stupid, bloody, nonsensical, naasama pona, yezhavu edutha GRE exam succesfully!

My score may not be one of the top scores but this is all I was praying for...a 600 in verbals with my inglipis knowledge seemed very distant especially I started mugging up the Barrons 3500 word list on June 25, 2005 And now here I am, rejoicing!

*drumrolls*

Quants : 800

Verbal : 590

For the GRE illilterates, the total is out of 1600 divided equally between quants and verbal :-)

And just when I started typing all this out, got another news.....Semester 6..

*drumrolls* (over-a drums adikkarthukku saari!)

82% :-)

Thats the highest in six semesters I have got!

Thanks for all your prayers! Especially the official prayer club and the oththu oothara prayer club :-)

It has been quite a long time since I smiled after I got my results. That was way back in 10th std!! An now.....am soooooooo happy!!! :-)

But, I don't wish to go abroad. This was just a backup. So CAT, here I come!! :-)

P.S. : For English pulavars like Curses and Kiki, GRE is THE exam. Neenga ellam firstu India-va vittu veliya ponga :-)

P.P.S. : All fellow U.S. bloggers and buddies, now starts your bad time. I need your mail ids :-)

Saniyan - Part 4

Read Part 3 here

Vandhi (Sodha will henceforth be aptly called Vandhi) oru 4-5 equally mokkai friends kootittu discotheque-ku pora Homo-va meet panna. Anga discotheque-ku ulla she goes and searches for Homo.

Continue to Saniyan...

Vandhi : Enga di indha Homo-va kaanum?
Another Mokkai Figure : Avar inga ennava irukkaru?
Vandhi : Homo-nu paeru vechirukkara naai discotheque owner-a va irupaan, inga dhaan engayaavathu glass kazhuvittu irupaan.
AMF : Adi paavi, avana paarkava ippadi odi odi vandha?
Vandhi : En azhagukkum, en arivukkum maapilainga queue-la kandippa nikka maataanga, evanayavathu izhuthuttu odina dhaan undu.

Oru 30 mins-a Vandhi searches for Homo. Appuram dejected-a she goes outside. Vaasal-la oru sound... (tune maintain pannunga makkaley!)

"Ole ole ole ole ole....aah olele ole ole ole"

"hes gonna pichai nananananananananana, oorum illa, paerum illa, anaadha naai"

"pichai edukka varugiraan homo, pichai podungal paavam homo, 5 paisa 10 paisa vaenaam homo, PICHAI homo"

Homo pichai edukkaraan, oru super figure koottu saethukittu. Idhu paarthu Vandhi shock aagitta.

Vandhi : Nee pichaikaarana?
Homo : Road orama paattu paaditu irukkara naan enna George Bush class mate-a?
Vandhi : Enna dheiriyam irundha enna love pannuva?
Homo : Enakku Maalai Kan noi...night kannu theriyaathu, andha dheiriyam dhaan.
Vandhi : Pichaikaaran-a irundhu nakkal-a paaru.
Homo : Naan pichai edukkaraen, nee edukkala, avalo dhaan difference, looks wise naanum neeyum same pinch dhaan.
Vandhi : Naan poraen.
Homo : Indha aluminium thattu kai-la pudichukko.
Vandhi : Yaen? Idhula naan unna love pannaraena illiya-nu theriyuma?
Homo : Illa, enakku urgent-a bathroom varuthu, adhu varaikkum nee collection-a paathukko.

Kova pattu Vandhi goes home. Night thoonga try pannara, aana thookam varala. Pichaikaarana irundha enna, nammalayum love panna oruthan irukkaney, adhu evalo periya thyagam, namma avanaye love pannalama appadinu very deeply thinkings. Sudden-a paartha koorai maela Homo sitting.

Vandhi : Koorai-a pirichu SriDevi varuva solluvaanga, moodhevi nee enna da pannara anga?
Homo : Heyyyy Vandhi...love solla dhaan ippadi roof pichuttu me getting in.
Vandhi : Seri sollita-la po.
Homo : Heyyyyyy Vandhi...whats this babe?
Vandhi : Mudhal-la heyyyy heyyyy-nu maadu oattarthu niruthi nee.
Homo : Love dhaan declare panniyaachu-la, come on babe, lets go and do the yo-yo.
Vandhi : Indha time-la yo-yo panna, mama seruppu kazhatti adipaan.
Homo : Nee enna nambala-la?
Vandhi : Pichaikaara naai, enna periya Nambungal Narayanan maadhiri pesara nee?
Homo : *starts walking on the roof* Enna nambala?
Vandhi : Dei enna adhaye repeat pannara nee? And romba pinnadi pogaatha, naera kenathula vizhuva...Madras kenaru...thanni irukkathu...straight paralogam dhaan.
Homo : Idhu munnadiye solla koodathu nee? Seri naan unakku kuchi ice vaangi tharaen. Yo-yo?
Vandhi : Ya ya!

Guduvanchery bus stand-la brammandama edutha pattu - "Kannum kannum nollai-a, rendu kannum nollai-a"-nu Sodha love sequence-ku Kavignar Karadimuthu ezhuthina paattu .

Paattu mudinja appuram scene cut... Prakash Raj and Vivek ippo Kambi veettu vaasal-la irukaanga.

Vivek : Kambi, sir en friend da. Theruporukki.
Kambi : Oh, sir dhaana adhu. Ungala pathi neraya kelvi pattirukaen sir.
Prakash Raj : Vanakkam. Enakku unga uthavi konjam vaenum.
Kambi : Sollunga.
Prakash Raj : Enga theruporikki union-la oru poatti vekkaraanga. Oru vaarthai-la irukkara ezhutha maathi koduthu, adhu kandu pudicha first prize-a rendu bun-um oru glass tea-um tharaanga.
Vivek : Adhula sila vaarthai paartha Madras Baashai maadhiri irukku, unakku theriyumae-nu dhaan kootittu vandhaen.
Kambi : Ivalo dhaaney, jumbles kaatunga.
Prakash Raj : M M T I T A A A N K, A A N T R H I, N N P D A I A A

Kambi goes through all the possibilities and circles.

Kambi : Kammanatti, Nathari, Pannadai.
Prakash Raj : Idhu ellam Madras baashai-a?
Kambi : Madras baashai-ey dhaan. Wikipedia-la idhu pathi ellam detailed-a solli irukaanga.
Prakash Raj : Edhukku use pannuvaanga?
Kambi : Pathinettu patti rules and regulations padi, thappu senjavangala seruppala adichu avunga kaadhula ippadi mangalagarama odhittu povaanga.
Kambi Dad : Idhu mattum illa.. bemaani, somaari, kaepmaari ippadi neraya vaarthai-nga irukku.
Prakash Raj : Ithu pathi ungalukku neraya theriyuma?
Kambi : Neraya theriyum, neraya vaatti seruppadi vaangi irukkaen.
Prakash Raj : Idhukku ellam enna artham?
Kambi : Dei oasiya sonna kaetuttae iruppiye. Oru glass tea bun-ku idhu podhum, mooditu po.

Scene cut. Hotel Atchaya-la Homo and Vandhi jalsa pannitu irukaanga.

Vandhi : Naan poganum.
Homo : Bathroom andha pakkam irukku. Come soon babe.
Vandhi : Enakku velai irukku.
Homo : Heyyyy Vandhi, come on babe, idhu ellam velai-a consider panna koodathu.
Vandhi : Naaye, naan ground vaanga poraen.
Homo : Vangu vaangu, anga kovil katti vaasal-la rendu paerum saenthu pichai edukkalam.
Vandhi : Un buthi unna vittu enga pogum! Naan poi land register pannanum, en kalyanathukku seeru.
Homo : Adhukku nee yaen poganum Vandhi, registrar paathukkuvaaru.
Vandhi : Undervalue-ku register pannarom.

Homo's mudi-la fast-a kaathu adikkuthu. Adhavathu inga dhaan Saniyan vara poraar-nu makkalukku ellam oru indication. Split personality-a inga brammandam-a kattarom. Adhaavathu personality maararchae thookki thookki adikkum. Ulaga cinema varalaatrulaye mudhal muraiyaaga indha effort.

Homo : Yaen ground-a undervalue-ku register pannara?
Vandhi : Loose-a da nee? Meter-ku maela poattu kodukka idhu enna auto-va. Kammiya register panna dhaan laabam.
Homo : Indha thappu yaaravathu paatha?
Vandhi : Podango... :-)

Ippo personality maariduchu, Homo glass table maela vizharaan.

Saniyan : Yaendi ketta vaarthai pesara? Mathavangala madhikka maattiya nee?
Vandhi : Enna da kural-a maathi dakalty kaattara. And ennathukku mudi ellathayum vechu moonjiya marachirukka nee. Chi kondai podu.
Saniyan : Naan Homo illa di, Saniyan.
Vandhi : Irundhuttu po. Adhukku enna panna?
Saniyan : Nee saaganum.
Vandhi : Audience ellam adhukku dhaan romba nerama waiting.

Again personality splittu. Next glass door-la falling. Inimae personality split-itae irukkum. So rendu paerum thanakku thaaney pesara maadhiri oru effectu.

Homo : That guy is bad Vandhi, you go. Seekiram. Fast.
Saniyan : Dei, ava saaganum da.
Homo : Quick Vandhi, nee po.
Vandhi : Dei po po-na, auto charge unga appan-a kodupaan, yo-yo keeyo-nu kondu vandhu ippadi en uyirukku vaettu vekkariye da naadhaari.
Saniyan : Naadhari-a? Mariyaathaiye therila unakku. Nee saaganum.
Vandhi : Orey dialogue-aye ippadi round katti adikkariye da.
Homo : Purse anga irukku, eduthuttu u go Vandhi.

Vandhi oru Karate class kulla odi poidara. Escape aaga try pannara but Saniyan avala pudichudaraan. Oru 100 people vandhu Saniyan-a thadukka try pannuvaanga andha class-la aana mudiyaathu. Nooru paeru saenthu oruthana adikka mudiyaama irukkarthukku enna M-ku andha mottai Mashter class nadatharaan-nu theriyala. Fraudu.

Vandhi-a pudichukittu, oru kutti bonfire maadhiri create pannaraan Saniyan. Adhula Vandhi-a thookki poda poraan. Appo dhaan Vandhi realises a truth.

Vandhi : Nee Kambi dhaaney?
Saniyan : Illa cementu. Vaaya moodu di.
Vandhi : Illa nee Kambiye dhaan.

Usual-a Tamil padam heroines-ku natural intelligence kammi. But indha padathula Vandhi-ku natural-a intelligence-ey kadayaathu. MGR maru vecha double action-ku kai thattina one of the child prodigies namma Vandhi.

Saniyan thooki poda poraan fire-la. Just one sec munnadi Vandhi shouts "Kambiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii". Saniyan poi Kambi vandhudaraan. Kambi-ku onnumae puriyala. Close range-la Vandhi-a paartha shock-la avala thookki neruppula poattudaraan.

*Audience claps*

To be continued....

Cheers :-)

Ticket Rates : NO amukks of any ad. Ellarum en GRE exam-la edho sollara alavukku naan mark vaanganum-nu pray pannunga! Nilamai very very mosam! :-( English ozhiga!!

Saniyan - Part 3

Read Part 2 Here

Ticket Rates : Google ad amukks dhaan :-)

Continue to Saniyan...

As you guys saw, Saniyan oru vidhyasamaana killer. Loosu-num sollalam. Kolai-um pannitu, police-ku jumble words clue-a vittutu povaan. Police arrive at the spot. Inspector Prakash Raj walks kurukka nedukka at the crime scene, romba neram yosichings.

Vivek : Sir, night pannandu mani, innum spot-la irundhu enna yosikkareenga?
Prakash Raj : Pulli Raja-ku AIDS varuma-nu!
Vivek : Andha Pulli Raja neengala irundha kandippa varum!
Prakash Raj : Pannadai pannadai, crime scene-la vaera enna yosipaanga, edhaavathu clue kidaikkutha-nu dhaan.
Vivek : Kurukka nedukka nadantha clue varaathu, nadu raathiri kulurla onnukku dhaan varum.
Prakash Raj : Orama odhungina onnukku, dhoorama odhungina rendukku.
Vivek : Edhu edhuku punch dialogue pesarthu-nu oru vevasthaiye illama poachu sir ungalukku.
Prakash Raj : Pichaikaaran vomit panna maadhiri pesaatha.... MMTITAANK, AANTRHI, NNPDAIAA...idhu moonukkum enna artham-nu kandupudikkanum.
Vivek : Yaen sir ivalo aarvama irukeenga?
Prakash Raj : Andha seththu pona Nair irukkaney...
Vivek : Avan ungalukku thambi-a sir?
Prakash Raj : Pannadai pannadai, avan enakitterunthu 10K kadan vaangi irundhaan, ippo adhu naasama poachu, enakku orey aathram aathrama varuthu.
Vivek : Pesaama orama odhungittu vaanga sir.
Prakash Raj : Dei, AATHRAM da! Kovam.
Vivek : Oh adhuva, naan vaera ennavo nenachaen.
Prakash Raj : Nee ninaikkarthum varuthu, but naan poga maataen.
Vivek : Yaen sir??
Prakash Raj : Onnukku pona, en kovam ellam veliya poidum, naan en kovathai appadiye thaekki vekka poraen.
Vivek : Kovathai mattum thaekkina paravala, neenga edha thaekkarthu-nu oru vevasthai illama thiriyareenga.

*Scene cut. Adutha naal Kambi is reading paper*

Kambi : Amma, inga vandhu paper-a paaraen.
Amma : Iru da velaiya irukkaen.
Kambi : Seekiram ma.
Amma : Dei, nee saloon-laenthu suttutu vandha pazhaya paper-a paarka rollerskates-laya varuvaanga, mooditu okkaru da.
Kambi : Illa ma, idhu inni paper, moonu paer seththu poitanga.
Amma : Adhukku ippo naan vandhu malarvalayam-a vekka mudiyum? Naatula manushanga seththu poga dhaan seivaanga.
Kambi : Illa ma, idhu naan complain panna moonu paeru. Ellarum seththutaanga. Enakku orey sandhosham.
Amma : Indha mokkai news-a solla dhaan enna kitchen-laenthu kooptiya nee? Karandi-aalaye adikkanum da unna ellam.

But Kambi is very happy. Indha sandhoshathula he goes to attend the Dumil Kuppam Culfest '05. Gaana paattu and dappanguthu on stage. Ippo oru bayangara set ellam poattu "Kuppathil irukkum asingamey" appadinu oru paattu namma Sodha-vukkaga. Adhu mudinja apparam Kambi manasula irukkartha kotta idhu dhaan seriyaana time-nu decide pannaraan. Naera he goes to Vandhana and gives a letter...

From Kambi
Yaarum madhikkatha echai payyan

To Vandhana
Padu mattamaana figure

Respected mokkai figure,
Bunker sir unakku dhaan love letter kodukkanum-nu romba compel pannaraar. Enakku vaera vazhi theriyala. Graamathu ponnunga ellam naattu kattai-a irukkum. Nee mattum yaen ippadi kolli kattai maadhiri irukka-nu therila. Un manasu eppadiyum gaali-a dhaan irukkum-nu enakku theriyum, so anga naan vandhu aaganum-nu Bunker sir romba pressure pannarthunala, enna love panni thulai.

Ippadikku,
Kambi

Vandhana : Love letter-a ippadiya ezhuthuva?
Kambi : Unna love panni letter ezhutharthey periya vishayam, idhula logic ellam paarkaatha.
Vandhana : Enakku unna pidikkala.
Kambi : Enakku mattum unna pidikkitha, ellam indha Bunker sir aala vandhathu.
Vandhana : Naan unna love panna maataen.
Kambi : Unnayum evanum love panna maataan.

Kambi comes out of the place even more happy. Aana Bunker avana vidartha illa. Split personality vechaavathu Vandhana-va love panna veikkanum-nu mudivoda irukkaru.

Vandhana-ku next day oru 100 roses gift-a varuthu. Appuram kili, kaka, kuruvi-nu neraya. Vandhana thinkings, namakku poi yaar idhellam anupparthu? Evanavathu love pannarthey periya vishayam, idhula yaen idhellam extra-va selavazhikkaraan? Appo oru phone call varuthu.

Homo : Heyyy...Vandhi...
Vandhana : Yaar nee?
Homo : Homo, H O M O, homo.
Vandhana : Enna love pannumboathey nenachaen, nee ippadi dhaan edhavathu iruppa-nu.
Homo : Heyy Vandhi, adhu just en paeru.
Vandhana : Naan enna ooru-na sonnaen? Yaenda naaye ivalo mattamaana paera vechirukka-nu kaekkaraen.
Homo : Idhu dhaan latest trend Vandhi.
Vandhana : Idhula enna yezhavu da trendu? Oru group-a dhaan alayareengala??
Homo : Heyyy Vandhi...naan unakku anuppina gifts-a paaru...andha rose-a paaru.
Vandhana : *sees the rose, rose ellam vaadi poiduchu bayathula*
Homo : Un azhagu thaanga mudiyaama ellam vaadi poachu paaru.
Vandhana : Hai!
Homo : Andha kaaka kuruvi-a paaru. But romba pakkathula paarkaatha, seththu poida poiguthu.
Vandhana : Dei enna da vaenum unakku?
Homo : Heyy baby Vandhi, nee dhaan vaenum enakku, i need you.
Vandhana : Adhellam ok, aana en paeru short form sahikkala.
Homo : Nandhini Nandy-na, Vandhana Vandhi right? Meet me today at the discotheque Vandhi, i'll be waiting for u baby. Byeeeeee

To be continued....

Cheers :-)

P.S. : Extremely busy!! GRE kandu pudichavana seruppala adikka poraen x(

Simha, Narasimha

Captain smoking kolli kattai

Narasimha is probably the best Indian film made. With Captain in the lead, this is a "Ramanarayan" genre movie which entertains you like no other film. I regret to have not watched it on the big screen. But on second thoughts, bigger screen means bigger Captain. Thus it is better for kids, heart patients and pregnant ladies to stay away.

Continue laughing...

The film starts off by letting the enemies know the ferocity of Captain. The bad guys run as soon as the higher authority radios to them saying, "Hey adhu Narasimha, avan kitta vechukkatha, odidu". Honestly, the result would have been the same if the bad guys had come to see Captain upclose. So such radioing technology only added unnecessarily to the production cost.

Captain sports a long overcoat in colours capable of blinding the enemies and the audience in a jiffy. Approximately 1 billion cocoons were destroyed to stitch one coat to coverup Captain and the material, which closely resembled Vadivelu's Dubai dress is believed to be silk. Of the two years production time for this movie, one and half years is believed to have been spent stitching Captain's majestic attire. Captain always wears mathcing coats...so at any given point in the movie he was dressed from head to toe in colours like metallic blue, orange, flourescent green and not to mention the ONYX (enga ooru kuppaikaaran!) style shiny military costume.

Isha Kopikar comes all the way from Singapore to seal her fate here. A Kili Josiyar tells her that she is going to collide with an aan azhagan, sooraathi soran, pant poatta singam tonight. Next scene, she collides with Captain and does a good job to stay on her feet. A truly laudable effort. She immediately falls in love with Captain, for which she was paid an extra 10 lakh salary. The director needs to be appreciated for the hidden message conveyed : don't believe in astrology.

Captain then gets into his role. He challenges criminals and always manages to outsmart them with his brilliance. He kills three people in Mumbai, Calcutta and Cochin and kidnaps three others. People are supposed to be guessing as to who Captain is, but I knew for sure he would work in some form or the other, atleast a jeep driver in the Indian Army.

The first killing is immediately followed by some romance. People today talk high about Vikram for portraying Anniyan and Ambi alternatively. Captain just did that years ago. He jumps from the top of a 40 storey building to save Isha from a bomb, collecting her on the way from the 35th storey and landing on a bed of roses with Captain on top. She would have preferred the bomb, yeah. Captain hugs her and she smiles. A brilliant perfomance by her to manage a smile at this point. She was paid another 10 lakhs for this. A fast paced duet song with Captain dressed in red shirt and yellow pant was first of its kind. Captain does manage to shake his legs for this song. Since the beats were pretty fast, the technical team did a good job to fastforward Captain's steps to achieve the sync.

The second killing is again followed by romance underwater. I am sure Vikram took a leaf from Captain's book. This was in Calcutta yeah, but Isha was forced to follow Captain wherever he went. Another 10 lakhs. The policeman tries to kill Captain by setting a bomb in his front wheel (indha ondraiyana scene-ku Speed technology vaera!). Captain finds out by psychic powers that there is a bomb and shoots the wheel off. Captain then does circus acts by driving the car with three wheels. But not withstanding the his weight, the wheel touches the ground finally and avamanam thaangama Captain jumps into the river where he does touching touching with Isha Kopikar. Naakku madichu romantic look ellam vittaru.

The third murder was supposedly a depiction of Narasimha avatar. Captain fights with his bare body adorned with Kalyani covering jewels. Looked more like Varaha avatar. Occasionally he would growl like a lion which unfortunately the camera caught on close up. Three casualties have been reported so far in Kancheepuram district.

This is when, the Indian army officers Anand Raj and Nasser, dressed in yellow shirt, black pant and a yellow tie with black spots, report to Raghuvaran about the acts of Narasimha. They are mocked at. So they decide to kill Narasimha. They shoot around 12 bullets. Captain dodges all of them a la Neo. He was actually asked to bend back like Neo, but since that is an impossibility, he manages to move sidewards. Raghuvaran reveals the identity of Captain . . .

"Avana thulaikka innum bullet-ey kandu pudikkala" (mudhal-la adha seyyanum!)
"Ashoka chakrathula moonu singam dhaan paarthirupeenga, ivan dhaan naalaavathu singam" (asingam-a?)
"He is India's one man army" (aamama, oru man-ey army maadhiri dhaan irukaaru)

Next, strategies to curb terrorism are discussed with Captain's expertise. The camera zooms into Captain's face till the screen is replete with it. The terrorists come to know about all these through a mic fitted in a pigeon named "Vallarasu". Captain follows the bird to find out the terrorist!!

Captain's family arranges for his marriage with Isha. Isha comes with a parrot in her hand during the ponnu paarkara function. Directorial touch : kili-a valarthu edhu kittayo kodukkara maadhiri. Captain agrees to marry her and Isha gives is all overjoyed (+10 lakhs) and gives a horrendous smile. Reality : Perfect match dhaan! Another duet. Indha song shoot pannarchae Captain-ku kaal idukkula katti me thinks. Steps ellam Captain standards-ku illa. On the day of the marriage, Isha understandably goes into coma. Narasimha cries for the first time.

Captain is then given the task of sweeping out the terrorists in 4 days. He analyses the issue with a team of 10. The team members tell him that the terrorist is in some glacial region looking at a video which the terrorist had sent in. But Captain was clever enough to find some vegetation in that pic!! He says the pic is morphed!! He "de-morphs" it somehow and people are surprised to see glaciers replaces by desert! So was I!!

The team then goes to the terrorist hideout. Captain gives his command, "Mizan Started". He is dressed in something which was used by potsman in the British era. He then tries to instill some humane qualities into a terrorist with a half hour speech. The terrorist dies.

Captain then manages to fire some 200 rounds using a small pistol and at the same time manages to dodge the machine guns which eventually runs out of bullets. The last scene-la Captain fights with the terrorist and kills him. It was bloody. I would have appreciated a more non-violinistic approach of a half hour speech.

I was a little disappointed with the director for not utilising Captain's blood red eyes effectively. Captain wears brown contacts in the film. Boo hoo :-(

Captain's punch was aweosome. The way he says Simha...Narasimha is believed to have made Narasimha Rao laugh.

An appreciable feature in this movie is that everybody knows Tamil including the Pakistani terrorist Akthar Bawa to enable them to communicate freely with Captain. English is the last language I'd like Captain to speak. Damil Daai needs him!!

Captain thus suceeds in making India a safer place to live in andeverybody is happy that movie is over :-)

Epilogue : After this movie, Isha Kopikar became the richest woman in the world :-)

P.S. : I was planning to release Saniyan Part 3, but Captain always gets priority :-) Next post-la Saniyan will definitely continue.

P.P.S : Yayy!! Google ads are up! :-)

Woohoo again!!

I never imagined I would be writing a sequel to this. Thanks to my classmate Prashanth, I get another small taste of fame :-)

Mock Interview is perhaps my most blessed blog, as it finds mention again in one of the dailies. Deccan Chronicle this time. What appeared in the paper was however a concise version of the original post due to a constraint on the number of words. So all that was written in my extra vettiness wasn't on the paper :-)

Prashanth took some blogs to the office and convinced the guys out there that this would work. Around six articles were selected to start off this column. So its thanks to him once again. The guys at Deccan Chronicle were pretty worried to mention the blog name, since they feared it would appear ripped off! They felt the author may sue them for using their articles or something. Why would I sue them for publishing my articles with my photo???? Crazy buggers! :-)

The Tuesday paper had one of Sangeeta's blogs and four others are due to come in the following days. Besides, the people at Deccan Chronicle wish to continue this column and have asked for more articles. So any good leisure read you find or any of your own articles which you feel are worthwhile can be mailed to him : prashkrish@gmail.com. Do take care not to exceed 250 words!

That is the pic which appeared in the paper. I term that as an appavi look, but Witchu always says thats a thiruttu muzhi! The halo was captured in the pic and I assure you, is no photoshop work :-D

Face is the index of mind. This is unfortunately the only proverb which suggests that I am a good boy. Bloody proverbs :-)

PS : This came at the right time helping a lazy bum update his blog! :-) Actually been busy preparing for my GRE. Thats on the 25th of July. That explains my absence in many of ur blogs! Sorry!! Will be back soon :-)

Mama calling, stop there!

Travelling in Chennai has become an ordeal recently. The pollutants in air, especially in places like T.Nagar, make sure that your nasal cavity can no longer be called one. The cacaphony of the city gouges your ear drums good enough to make them bleed as much as you sweat in the sweltering heat ( Ya ya, its a widespread case of "Why blood? Same blood"). The traffic moves at a pace slower than your favouritest mega serials. The bumpy roads assure you that you travel a great deal along the Z Axis too. The list of hurdles is never ending.

When you travel bearing all the pains of the same, on your way, at a distance, you spot something. You wonder if that's perhaps a pillar in a Mahabalipuram temple. But it can't be, you are in the city. As you move closer, you see a glimmering STOP sign. "Oh, that something or someone seems like Captain Vijaykanth", you may think. You are on the right track..that's his colleague. Chennai City Traffic Policeman (CCTP...abbreviation-ku ellam kuraichal illa) who are endearingly addressed mama.

We definitely need to salute their effort to control the traffic. But at times, looking at them, you may believe that they are indeed the cause for the blockade. Policemen are recruited after several physical tests as everybody knows. I seriously do not know if running out of tape to measure the waistline is an important criterion. If not so, how mamas baloon up even under the hot sun is probably attributed to expansion of gasses at higher temperatures. A red pom-pom is the only missing ingredient to earn a part time job in Gemini circus. It sure is a pity that this is the image which conjures up in our mind when we think of our CCTP men. Unfortunately, facts are here to stay.

Mamas are very strict on the last ten days of the month. That's when their duty beckons them. Kadamai unarchi azhaikkum...due to lack of funds. If you are stopped by one on your way, unless you are a blood relative of both Karunanidhi and Jayalalitha, the mama gains some money. Since that is an impossibility, the mama always gains. A typical incident involving a mama would be . . .

Mama : Stop!
Man : *poachu da* Enna sir?
Mama : Licence irukka?
Man : *irundha mattum vidava pora?* Illa sir.
Mama : Va va, oaram kattu.
Man : *eppadiyum idha dhaan solla pora*
Mama : 500 rupees fine saar.
Man : *manasula rules ramanujam-nu nenappa?* Sir??
Mama : Aamampa Sergeant romba strictu.
Man : *avar dhaaney, nee illaye* Sir avalo kaasu illa sir.

Now mama uses the scratching technique to communicate. Till date only head and palm scratchings have been reported, but dunno what is in store for the future.

Mama : *scratching head*
Man : *munna pinna shampoo poattu kulicha dhaaney* Enna sir?
Mama : Enna saar puriyaatha maadhiri kaekkareenga?
Man : *puriyuthu da puriyuthu...aandaandukaalama idhey code word dhaana?* Kaasu illaye sir.
Mama : Irukkartha koduthuttu po pa.
Man : *free-a koduthu echi dhum kooda adippiye* Sir 25 dhaan irukku.
Mama : Enna saar neenga, ivalo costly bike vechuttu 25 dhaan irukka unga kitta?
Man : *unakku kodukkarthukkaga blank cheque-a vechu irupaanga. Vaangara lanjathukku logic vaera* Petrol poattutaen sir.
Mama : Seri seri, irukkartha kodunga.
Man : *seruppu irukku, adhaala kodukkava?* Indhaanga sir.
Mama : Oru vagai-la idhuvum nallathu dhaanga.
Man : *unakku nallathu, enakku?!* Eppadi?
Mama : Sergeant-na 500 rupees poattirupparu saar, edho neenga namma aalu-nu naan vidaraen.
Man : *aamama, enakkum unakkum poorva jenma bandham paaru* Thanks sir, romba nallavaru neenga.

So this is precisely how mama manages to maintain the cash inflow during month ends too and support his family.

Beware of mamas. Its not all that difficult especially when you just cannot miss spotting them. Stay away from mamas as much as possible.

Happy driving in Chennai! Cheers :-)

Doubtu : Why has Captain not yet played a traffic police in any film?