G R E

Over the past week, my mail box has been flooded with e-mails by people reading my blog. To my surprise, most of them were doubts regarding GRE That motivated me further to workout this post from scratch covering all the requisites!!

Am presenting this in my favourite format. FAQs :-)

What does GRE stand for?
Generally Ridiculous Examination.

How ridiculous is it?
As ridiculous as Saurav Ganguly playing for India.

Who should take it?
One who feels Bald is Beautiful and wants to lose his hair before marriage.

How is the test?
As lovable as Kris Srikkanth's Hindi.

When should I start my preparation?
To finish off learning all the words for the verbal section, you should be as old as Jesus Christ.

How many words should I know before the exam?
Around 1,398,350 words. After you complete the word list, you'll have just about enough time to write your will and die.

Is reading comprehension a part of the verbal section?
Yes, it has 50 odd line passages which the authors failed to comprehend. By the 25th line, you are convinced that inky pinky ponky is the optimum solution.

Could you make this point more clear with an example?
Yeah. "Ignoring the minutiae of colour and texture of the britches and what lies underneath, the dampness of the same could be ascribed mainly to the frigid climatic conditions. Why the damp output has escaped freezing in such biting temperatures is beyond the scope of our discussion."

Err...that means?
The kid peed in his pants because of extreme cold.

How about analogies?
You gotta figure out relationship between two words which are equally obscure in their own ways.

Example please..?

American man : American woman

A) Laloo : Buffalo
B) ManiShankarIyer : Hug
C) Ramadas : Tamil
D) Customer : Bank Account

In the above example, we first need to identify the relationship. That would be ... "Many American men have many American wives who inturn have many other American husbands". So the relationship is Many to Many. Option A and B are wrong because they are one to many relationships. Option C is also ruled out because it is a vetti scene relationship. So the choice is D.

What about math? What should I do for it?
That's very easy. You'll figure out the answers even if you are Laloo's close relative.

What if I am extremely smart?
Think dumb.

How are the writing sections?
Equally ridiculous.

Why so?
That's part of the terms and conditions of GRE.

How much can I score in verbal?
Definitely more than what Ganguly does for India, the minmum score is 200.

What if I manage 700+ in verbal?
Please mail me ur house address. Veetuku auto varum. I'll meet you personally and kill you!

Disclaimer : These are my personal opinion and I shall not be held responsible if this blog confuses you GRE aspirants

P.S. : I'll stay away from spoofs for sometime. Stereotypical-a pona oru feelings :-)